(Closed) What made you decide to have a second baby?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
6526 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Stephville:  my daughter is 10 months old. And we always had plans to have a second baby. But we wont be doing that for awhile for financial reasons only. At 4 years old, she will start UPK which is free for the first 6 hours, so Ill only have to pay for daycare for 5 hours. Its too much money to have 2 kids in daycare fulltime. So we will start trying for baby #2 when she turns 3

Our reasoning to have a second baby is we want her to have a sibling. We both have siblings. We obviously dont know what its like to be an only child. Im sure there are perks to being an only child and having a sibling. I would like for her to have someone to play with, a lifelong friend (hoping they get along lol), 

Post # 17
Member
7432 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Stephville:  Our girls are 1 year and 1 month apart to the day. We always said we wanted 2. We both have siblings, and we wanted our kids to have a sibling. I was so happy to have 2 girls close in age. I can’t wait until my 5 month old is able to play with our 2.5 year old. She already loves her little sister so much! Hearing her say “I love you sissy, so much” is just way too sweet.

Post # 19
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m pregnant with #2, and they’ll be 21 months apart.  We always wanted a bunch but I got major baby fever when DS was about 8 months old and then it just got worse…hence the short age gap ;). As much work as it is, we really love having a child and the idea that I’d get to love another person as much as I love DS is too awesome to pass up!  I’m a sap, I know. But that was what really set the baby clock ticking for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 20
Member
4260 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Stephville:  that totally makes sense.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I am not sure if I will have more kids, and just suck up that feeling, or maybe it will feel complete in the future??  It is very hard, so I am leaving it up to fate.  lol

Post # 21
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

My mother chose to have a second child because she “didn’t want the first child to walk alone in the world, now they’ll always have eachother.”

Post # 22
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

We’ve always wanted two (maybe three!) kids, for them to have a sibling and for us to enjoy it all more than once. 

As for age gaps… Everyone I know with a smaller gap (two years or less) has told me how chaotic it is, and almost all say if they had their choice again they would have preferred a larger gap. I’m sure it’s great in the long run having them closer in age, but it’s really really hard having two young babies at once. Waiting an extra year won’t make that huge of a difference for your husband, but an extra year’s age gap is enormous when your kids are babies. Sorry to be so negative, I’m sure there are lots of positives too but I’m just trying to add some points that you may not have considered. 

Post # 23
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

Immediately after my first I said ‘never again’, much to DH’s disappointment. Then 10 weeks later a switch flipped and I’ve had insane baby fever ever since! Even more than before we made #1! We’re just waiting for my period to return before ttc again ๐Ÿ™‚

I just know I’m not done. I want to be pregnant, experience childbirth and the newborn days all over again! The world needs another cute baby like my first lol!

Post # 24
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Stephville:  We waited until DS was 2 until we started trying for #2. But we’ve had no luck so far and now DS is almost 3. I wish we had started trying a lot sooner.

Post # 25
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee

Stephville:  Yes, entertaining kids are EXHAUSTING. I cannot imagine having to do this on my own day in and day out. I am a REALLY involved mother but I need my breaks. Having two so close in age relieves me of the pressure of always having to be ‘on’.  Shucks, they could play for hours with paying me limited attention and that’s the way I like it.  So it’s up to me when I want to insert myself. Of course, there is also a price to pay for that because sometimes they fight but the blessing of them having each other outweighs that for me.

 

Post # 26
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee

Mine are 14 months apart.

Post # 27
Member
2517 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I always pictured us with 3 kids.  I just knew I wasn’t done after our first.  Even when I was pregnant with him I always thought of him as our eldest.  What did surprise me is how quickly I wanted a 2nd.  I thought for sure we’d wait until he was 18 months – 2 years old before trying again.  And here we are at almost 8 months and totally ready to go.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I had a horrible pregnancy with him and a very rough birth, and none of that really matters now.  That said, I have a really easy baby. 

Post # 28
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Daizy914:  for what it’s worth I’m an only child and want to have a 2nd for that reason ๐Ÿ™‚ I always wanted a sibling especially in my adult life. 

Post # 29
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You should have a second if that’s what YOU and your spouse want.  I don’t believe in having more children for the benefit of your existing children.  There are no guarantees in life.  My husband has 2 siblings and they are basically indifferent toward one another.  Some siblings are so close.  Some hate each other.  It can go so many way so it’s a crapshoot.  I also find it strange that people say “I want my child to have a built in friend” or “i don’t want my child to be alone once I die.”  do only children not have friends or other relatives?!

I always thought I’d have 2 since I grew up as an only child and always felt lonely and didn’t want any future child of mine to feel that way.  Now that I have my own child, I realize that had nothing to do with being an only child and everything to do with the fact that my parents were super strict and sheltered me too much.  if we have another, it will be because we want another and not for the benefit of our son.

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