Post # 1
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
I’m not talking about what initially attracted you to your partner or what you enjoy most about being around them, but what aspect of who they are as a person did you see and decide “that’s the right partner for me”?
I could rhyme off all kinds of things I love/like about my fiance, but I could do the same for my friends too and guys I dated in the past. And I can rhyme off all kinds of things that I value about him and respect about him.
But what made me decide he is the right partner for me is when I realized that I can’t help but be wholly me with him… Unpolished and honest. I tell him everything even if I don’t mean to… Even when I feel embarassed and would prefer to keep something to myself. It just comes out. He sees my crazy and he loves me anyways.. not in spite of my faults but because he loves the whole package. In almost three years of living together, I have never felt any inclination to hide myself in whole or in part (well, except for the first few months when I had trouble pooping when he was home but that faded real quick!)
Post # 2
Member
1521 posts
Bumble bee
When I saw how he took care of me when I wasn’t feeling well. Total game changer. I have gotten bad migraines my whole life. I knew I wanted a partner who would be as sweet to me as my mom was when I had a bad headache. The first time I got a headache he was incredibly kind and sweet. I realized that support was what I wanted in my life for forever. Also with him I get the whole package. His family is amazing, fun, and supportive. I realized that while our parents are different they raised him and I the same way with many of the same basic morals and values. Every day I see how alike his mom and my mom are. He gets along with everyone in my life and I in his. I never tire of spending time with him. He loves me even with no makeup, no matter what. We can be ourselves. Most of all I can see what an amazing father and husband he will be. And the relationship is just easy with him. It’s not hard, we don’t fight, or yell, it just works.
sboom :
Post # 3
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
When I opened up about the extent of my mental health issues to a guy who knew nothing about mental health issues. His response was so kind and supportive and it totally floored me because I thought for sure he wouldn’t know what to do with it. He became an expert fast and turned out to be my biggest support because he cared about me and wanted to help as best he could. It was the moment I knew he was a keeper.
Post # 4
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
For me it was his compassion. If I was ever having a bad day he knew exactly how to cheer me up. The way he was able to connect with me and know whether I needed an impromptu sushi date, or just to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie was unlike any other guy I had ever known. The same thoughtfulness he shows to me he shows to everyone in his life, and that’s how I knew it was a genuine part of how he was. He is so kind, and once I realized this I was his.
Post # 5
Member
763 posts
Busy bee
There were no games, no tricks, no fighting, no walking on eggshells, no jealousy, no anxiety (like my prior very bad relationship and dating in my past before that). It was real, honest, and easy. Showed me what a relationship is supposed to be.
Post # 6
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
When he drove 500 miles in a severe snowstorm to meet my mom and aunt for the first time. And then he put on skis for the first time in 15 years so he could ski with them (skier only mountain, he’s a snowboarder). That was about 3-4 months in. It just showed how serious he actually was about me and so willing to meeting the people who were important to me.
Post # 7
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
Awww you guys! I’m absolutely loving these responses!!
ladyjane123 : totally feelin ya on having the whole package. I am so grateful that I ended up with someone who’s family I genuinely love and who’s friend group seamlessly merged with my own.
TheSanguineRose : mine is so patient and understanding with my mental health too. I know he doesn’t get it but he believes me and doesn’t question me about any of it. He just lets me talk and tries his best to give me what I need.
Post # 8
Member
3484 posts
Sugar bee
He is 7inches taller than me. No joke. I’m 6ft tall so a I wasn’t going to let a tall man escape.
Post # 9
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
He loves me for me. I have nerdy interests and dont follow typical “woman” hobbies/topics even though Im conventionally attractive. Id meet guys who thought I was hot, but were totally bored by me. Was so annoying!
Hes conventionally hot (body builder,etc) but grew up a skinny nerdy kid so hes not bored by me.
I feel like I can just be myself with him and he loves me for who I am. That kind of peace is a wonderful thing.
Post # 10
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
sboom : mermaidbride79 : This and this.
I could be myself and never feel criticized by him with anything superficial whereas most everyone I knew (either friends or exes) often talked about superficial things.
Post # 11
Member
1507 posts
Bumble bee
He’s been the only person I have ever been able to tell about me being sexually assaulted. Do drop that sort of bomb on someone and have them just love on you and be patient, and that I felt totally comfortable and safe in sharing that info was a game changer.
Also, he’s the hardest working man I know. From the beginning he’s been willing to support my emotionally, and financially in pursing my career dreams. I’m so blessed to have a spouse that supports me through everything, whatever we have to do to make it happen, he makes sure it gets done. Not every man would be willing to live separately from their wife the first 3 years of marriage! But he didn’t head for the hills when he knew this was a reality from the beginning.
Post # 12
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
When I saw how he loved and cared for his niece who has disability. We talked about it and I could hear how much he cares, which drew me in, in the first place. But when I saw his interaction with her and how patient and compassionate he is, I knew he was for me. It’s one thing to talk the talk, but he walks it too.
Post # 13
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
I’m going to echo the mental health thing. He has never had anxiety and is the most level headed person I know. Where Ihon the other hand have always been an anxious person (first panic attack at 9). So when I experienced my first major panic attack in front of him I was seriously so impressed with how he dealt with it and it just really proved how great he is for me and how much he cares
He also balances out my shyness with his ability to talk to almost anyone about anything lol
Post # 14
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
I love how the common thing here is men being compassionate.
Post # 15
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
Zero judgment or criticism from him. This is really huge for me because I was emotionally abused for a good chunk of my life and have received a lot of judgment from my parents. I have cPTSD, depression, and panic disorder – he has always been completely supportive and compassionate when I am going through a rough time, and I have never questioned his unwavering support and love for me. He does understand the mental health thing, as he suffers from depression too. We are able to mutually support and encourage each other, and we bring out the best version of each other. Lastly, he always treats me with love and respect.