What made you decide "yup.. this person is for me"?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

1.) First time my mom met him she gave him a huge hug and when he went to take out the trash she said, “I believe that man would do anything in the world for you.”. My mother is NOT a hugger, like at all. Not the most affectionate person in general really. I said who are you and what have you done with my mother?! “Must be Jesus.” undecided She has always been an excellent judge of character with spot on instincts so I kept that in mind.

2.) Took me three months to convince this man to watch Game of Thrones. He had no clue about it and no interest in it, until he found out there were dragons involved. I’m like are you telling me all I had to do to get you to watch this frickin show was mention dragons? “Yep.” Whatever lol So we’re binge watching one weekend, he’s totally into it of course. Joffrey was being, well Joffrey. At exactly the same time we both said, “This evil piece of sh*t really needs to die.” We’ve been having these kinds of super connected, borderline creepy moments ever since. 

3.) He drank my last ginger ale and I allowed him to live. tongue-out

And of course he’s a wonderful person, I love the type of man he is, hard working, supportive, excellent father etc.,

Post # 17
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

I think one of the key things for me that really made me want him as my partner for life was experiencing how deeply I respect him and how absolutely he respects & believes in me. In past relationships that was always something that went downhill for a while, and I realized that once even a little bit of a feeling of contempt crept in, the relationship wouldn’t survive. But I respect him completely as a person and that hasn’t changed. And he believes in me utterly and genuinely wants me to reach my highest potential, which was different from other guys who wanted me to sacrifice my career ambitions for them or push me into a supporting role. 

The other thing that makes me feel very confident is how we handle conflict and how we grow in our relationship together. We’ve talked through and been able to make so many successful adjustments in order to be better partners for each other, or to overcome some new obstacle. It makes me confident that even though I don’t know what the future holds, we’ll be able to learn from it and make our relationship stronger as a team.  

Post # 18
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

He always gets 2 sides of fries and then lets me eat all of them, even when I say I didn’t want any. And he never complains about it.

Post # 19
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

We hung out with two of my friends, her boyfriend at the time (now fiancé) and his friend. The single friend is more quiet, and he made a point to include her and get to know her. There were definitely other things before that (like making an effort to make long distance work for the summer early on in our relationship, getting along with my mom, etc), but something about that made me think, “wow, I think he’s the one!” We’d only been dating 3 months at that point, but hey. 

Post # 20
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: USA

View original reply
sboom :  Initially I was attracted because I felt so relaxed around him. I could just be myself and there was no pressure because he liked me just the way I was! It was comfortable. That was a relief after dating so many guys that I never felt “good enough” for. After we went through some stuff together and really got to know each other over time, I knew that he was worth it. We’re so different, but the level of acceptance he has for me has made even the hardest of times easier for us. 

Post # 21
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

This is actually a difficult question. The polite answer is because we’re very compatible generally, I admire and respect what a strong person he is and how he has dealt with everything that he has been through, there is a lot of mutual trust and respect, and the fact I can be totally myself with him. 

The actual honest answer is that I knew from the moment we met because our emotional and physical connection was off the charts. I had three long term relationships before him, and the attraction in all of those was like tepid bathwater in comparison. It’s damn good luck that it turns out that we’re very compatible in life generally as otherwise it would have been a hot mess. 

Turns out that I like and need things that I wasn’t really aware of. 

Post # 22
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

When did I realize? When we were cooking together at his place, laughing and swapping stories, and it was just such a serene moment and I thought: “yes, this. Forever. I can do that!” 

I have so many affirming moments about my love for him and that he’s the perfect man for me, it’s tough to list. But I will say that I don’t need anything else in the relationship. We’re happy if we are just together, it doesn’t matter if we are grocery shopping, browsing the internet, out on fancy date, or travelling. Just knowing that we are content in being with each other is enough for me to be happy. 

 

Post # 23
Member
1943 posts
Buzzing bee

It actually took a long time for me to realize that my partner is the one for me. We met 15 years ago, and he has loved me from the beginning, but I was never really interested because I was in love with someone else. Over the course of 9 years we have been best friends, traveled together, had a fling, dated for 7 months, lived overseas together, and had many many long conversations about anything and everything. Every time it ended because despite how great he was, I just never loved him. I was always looking for a copy of the man who broke my heart long ago. 

After our 7 months of dating (and my breaking his heart, unfortunately) we kept in touch but didn’t see each other for 6 years. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, so I gave him lots of space. After 5 years, I brought up a visit, and he finally agreed to it a year later. I spent a fully platonic week with him, and the day before I left I realized that I was happier that week than I had been for years. I was back home for a day before I decided to go back, and I flew out for another week a few days later. By the end of that week I knew I was in love with him. I moved across the country for him and we are planning on getting married this year. 

Our entire history has been punctuated with signs that he was the one for me. We’ve been on the phone for 24 hours straight. We know each other’s deepest and darkest secrets. The most romantic times of our lives have been together. He wrote in a journal about one of our trips together – 115 pages punctuated with descriptions of what notices and loves about me. But aside from that, he brings me flowers when I’m sick, he brushes my hair with his fingers when we watch tv, and he paints my toenails for me. I am so, so grateful that I finally woke up and appreciated how incredible he is, and I plan on spending my life making up for the fact that it took me so long! 

Post # 24
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2019

iThe first time we tried to have intercourse -which was the first time for both of us – and it turned out I had a vaginismus. Basically intercourse was impossible, he was barely touching me and it felt like someone was stabbing me with a shard of glass. This condition breaks up marriages, ruins many relationships. But even though we hadn’t been together long, he didn’t run for the hills. He just held me, comforted me, came with me to every appointment. He supported me and never made me feel like less of a woman, even though I sometimes felt like it. Three years later, and I am still struggling wiht this condition. He has been the most patient, supportive, amazing partner in the world, and I cannot wait to make him my husband in less than three months.

Post # 25
Member
334 posts
Helper bee

There are a lot of things that have added up, but a few:

1) I feel like I am completely myself around him. He knows things about me that I’ve never told anyone else. I don’t feel like i ever need to hide my feelings. This works both ways, he is the same with me. 

2) I’ve always hesitated to let parents get close to my fam for whatever reason (instinct?), but he’s been the exception. He hangs out with my dad alone and has been there with me around my family a LOT, including during a major crisis with my mom (recently got diagnosed with dementia, convinced my dad was trying to kill her and was threatening to commit suicide). He was so supportive and loving towards all of us. Also, our families have all met and keep in touch on their own. We come from very similar backgrounds and having families who get along/are close has always been important to me. 

3) He is really thoughtful and sweet, whenever I’ve had a bad day, he knows exactly how to cheer me up. He is also quite romantic and is wonderful at surprising me with small things to make me smile , which I love! 

Post # 26
Member
1520 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I loved him long before this, but that “deciding moment” for me was when I saw him raise our little puppy. He was (is still) so sweet, patient, and loving of our dog. He would do literally anything to help this cute little animal. The way he talks about our dog I just knew he has the softest heart ever and that this is someone I can trust with my life (and our future kids!)

Post # 27
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

Before we started officially dating, it was his Laugh and his smile. They’re both amazing. And now that we’ve been together for so long, I still adore those features. He’s currently overseas for his best mates wedding and just thinking about him right now makes me all teary (happy tears). I love the way he holds me, comforts me, stands up for me, cheers me on when I’m down and out, helps me, encourages me. Waking up next to him is the best feeling in the world. I pick him up from the airport on Thursday and I already have butterflies thinking about it. I can’t wait to see him! 

when I first met him I was only 20. I’m nearly 27 now and I love him more than I did 6 and a half years ago. I knew straight away how much he would mean to be. After exchanging our I love you after 3 weeks I couldn’t imagine not spending my life without him. We’ve had ups and downs but I get giddy thinking about future! He’s got great work ethic, works so hard, is so focused and determined with everything he does. It fascinated me. I just love him so much. 

Post # 28
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

When I left the room during “Breaking bad” and he paused it so I wouldn’t miss the steamy sex scene.  ❤️

Post # 29
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Several things, I guess. When we started dating, he was so incredibly excited about us being together. He just couldn’t WAIT to introduce me to his family and friends. Later, one of his friends told me that he showed up at the bar they all used to go to, like the day after we got together and told them about me. 

Also, he was super supportive about me having trust issues from a past relationship and he was completely open about his emotions, too. 

And he is just kind. He can be snippy with people, but never when people need help or encouragment. He’s gentle with kids and animals. He looks a bit wild, with long hair and beard and leather jacket, but he radiates so much kindness, that elderly people always seem to approach him when they need a hand. 

He listens. We started dating in October and I mentioned something I wanted to buy but didn’t because the plugs wouldn’t have worked in Germany. He bought the item and re-wired it and gave it to me for Christmas. I’d mentioned it ONCE. He just pays attention to stuff.

He is ok with me as I am. I don’t need to be slimmer or smarter or work harder or become more educated or swear less. I don’t need to police myself and that’s amazing.

Post # 30
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee

There are all kinds or practical, emotional, and physical things that attracted me to him.

His goals and life views, integrity, and honesty we’re the main first signs. 

But the longer we live together, the more the small nuances become apparent. He has very sweet and endearing pieces that were unexpected. And, I recently  realized, before him, I have never know what it is like to live as fully accepted, loved unconditionally, and appreciated. Not by my family, by my ex, or my kids. 

It’s really made me feel so fortunate and I see life differenlty, at 44…  He has never criticized  me,  blamed me, wronged me, judged me or told me what to do. I

feel like for the first time in my life… I can breathe. And I never realized before, that I couldn’t. ..as it was the only reality I had ever known. 

 

Our relationship is effortless, really. Which is the reason I would do and endure anything for us. He always put me first, as I do for him. 

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