What made you decide "yup.. this person is for me"?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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sboom :  After my husband prayed for me. Yes I know cheesy smile

Post # 32
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

For me, there were four separate events that together created the feeling of “yes okay he is the one”:

1) Around two months after we started dating, he met my family, who all instantly fell in love with him. My mom had five daughters, so she was eager to feel as if she had a son. 

2) Four months after we started dating, he told me that he would be Catholic for me.

3) For my first birthday as a real couple (8 months after starting to date), he gave me a card that was so sweet that I burst into tears. He is constantly remembering my likes and dislikes. My favorite color is burgundy, so the card was burgundy. My favorite food is baked chicken and mashed potatoes, so he made that for me before going sailing on the lake, another favorite pasttime. That day was so magical. 

4) He asked my parents for their blessing. The way he put it afterwards was that yes, I’m a grown-ass woman and I can make my own decisions, but my family means a lot to me – more than anything. He knew that if my parents gave their blessing it would mean the world to me, and he was right. Alongside all that, he proposed with my family present, which also meant the world to me. 

Those were the BIG moments. Lots of little things here and there, but those four things were the real deal for me 🙂 

Post # 33
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

On our first date he didn’t flirt with me at all.  Acted more like he was on a professional interview.  Treated me like an equal and not something to woo over.  I could have been an old man or an unattractive woman, I knew he would have treated them the same.I went home and told my friends I had found the person I’m spending the rest of my life with.  6 years later and I’m no more sure of that now than I was 6 years ago.  

Post # 34
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

when we were not dating eachother and already had plans to live our lives together. i didnt know ide end up marrying him, i just knew i would end up with him somehow. and once he saw his chance and i has doubts, he assured me he would make it last.

almost 9 years later almost 4 married its been great

Post # 35
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

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sboom :  We had only been seeing each other a couple of weeks, so I really didn’t know him all that well at this point. We went to his cousin’s wedding, and I noticed how funny and sweet he was with his recently widowed grandmother. I could tell he wanted her to enjoy the wedding and forget her sorrows for just a short time. He made sure he danced with her and talked and joked with her, and she just looked so happy to be with him. I thought if a man shows so much respect and kindness towards his grandmother, he will treat me well too. We’ve been married for almost 13 years and I’m happy to say I wasn’t wrong about that. 

Post # 36
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m a very instinctual person.  When I get gut feelings about things, they’re usually right, to the point that many people have insinuated that I have some sort of 6th sense.  In regards to relationships, my gut had never really had much to say about anyone until I met my husband.  My gut told me he was the one after 2 weeks.  I know it may sound crazy… but crazier still was that I felt comfortable enough telling him after 2 weeks! (and he didn’t run away!)

I’ll try and define it beyond a gut feeling:  Our physical and emotional attraction is off the charts, and there’s substance and depth to our conversations to back it all.  We are different people, but our core values and goals matched.  We put each other first and there are no games.  When faced with a difficult situation early on (his ex was mental), the way we handled it was as a team and because of how we handled that, I could tell how strongly he felt for me before he even told me…. and I felt the same!  The cherry on top was that when friends or family saw us together, they saw it too.

Post # 37
Member
947 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

like you, i can rattle off a ton of reasons but i guess i knew because we were truly platonic friends first, so he saw every single part of me for me and fell in love with me for me. he accepts every single part of me. the good the bad and the ugly. i realized i was in love with him too when i found myself turning down dates because i just wanted to hang with him. i noticed that i started being super excited to see him. some times its what got me through the week, knowing i would hang with him on a weekend. and we truly were platonic for like 10 years prior. so i didnt even notice when i started falling for him. my sister did though and had to point it out to me!

Post # 38
Member
2989 posts
Sugar bee

There were a few things but the major thing to me was he never made me doubt myself in the relationship. 

I never wondered “why doesn’t he text me”, “am I doing something wrong” or “why doesn’t he ask to go out?” He always pursued me and made me feel attractive and wanted. Most of the previous boyfriends I had made me question myself or if something was wrong with me. I think it’s important for your best partner to leave little doubt in your mind. 

Post # 39
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

One of my biggest hangups in dating was that I was always the “strong one.”  I was the reasonable one, the sacrificing one, the emotional rock, and at times even the protector.  I get the current controversy around gender roles and all that, but honest to crap I just wanted a goddamned MAN.  I wanted to be taken care of for once, rather than constantly giving and supporting.  I wanted someone who would be my teammate and my equal, and who would pick me up if I fell rather than waiting impatiently for me to brush myself off.  I wanted someone who could handle all of my opinions and my weirdnesses with grace, but still poke fun at me if they got out of hand.  I wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to be a leader in a crowd of people, and who also trusted me to be that leader if he wasn’t there.  I wanted someone who could see when I was pushing myself too hard and would willingly pick up some of the weight I was carrying.

I have to tell you, I was deadass shocked to have found a guy who gives me all of that and more, lol.  Still have to remind myself that he’s real sometimes.

Post # 40
Member
4195 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I dont think there was one defining moment, but several small ones that added up to “this is my person”. 

I’ve never felt like a true equal in a relationship before but from the beginning, Fiance has always treated me like his partner. He clearly values my opinion and we make decisions as a team.

He had the same future plans/goals as me and puts the same importance on family & friends (and building relationships with each other’s people) as I do.

His baggage matched mine and we could be totally open about it. This was huge for both of us and made us both feel validated & heard. 

We always seem to want the same things even if we havent discussed it. Example: we were supposed to go out for New Years but our Christmas had been SO busy, by the time NYE rolled around, we were toast. We were both trying to rally for the other so they didnt miss out on something but secretly wanted to just stay home. Once we realized that we both actually wanted the same thing, we had the best night on the couch with our dog, some Chinese food & Netflix. His mom made a comment about how you know you’ve found the right person when a night in is as fun (if not more) than a night out. We both absolutely agree.

Things are just more enjoyable when he’s with me! (except for shopping because he hates it and gets cranky :P)

Post # 41
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

We started to have intellectual talks and he was one of the very few people who could totally get what I mean anytime we chatted about controversial issues. He was also very courteous in every way whenever we went out even “unofficially”. A combination of his attractive outlook and beautiful character that made me feel comfortable in my own skin was probably the main reason.

 I must have felt it so quickly though, we saw each other for a while and we were exclusive for a month only when I said Yes! Hehe

1.5 years down, no regrets. Hope it’ll stay this way. 🙂 

Post # 42
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I honestly couldn’t tell you an “oh” moment, we had been friends for over a year and completely platonic then one day it just clicked and I knew I was falling in love with him. It was a mix of things I guess. Our shared love for travel, his want to take care of me (even as friends) his love for his family, his family aswell, how he treats people and animals, his work ethic, his height, how he takes care of himself, how he supports my crazy every changing life goals, I could go on.. 

Post # 43
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

Whenever I’m with him – I don’t want to be anywhere else. Whenever I’m not with him – I’m wanting to see him. If that makes sense. I dated many men before my husband (including a few long-term relationship) and never felt this way about anyone else. 

Post # 44
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

Neither of us like potatoes. 

Post # 45
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

sboom :  I honestly react chemically to him.  I “knew” he was my soulmate from the first second.  

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