What made you decide "yup.. this person is for me"?

posted 9 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly? When he met my dog. My partner isn’t a dog person, they’re too needy for him. And my dog is scared of strangers. But my partner kept sitting on the floor and waiting for my dog to come over so he could pet him. 

I guess he knew how important it was for him to get along with my dog. 

He also showed up to our first date shaking like a leaf and I realised how important it was to him that the date went well. So there was that too 

Post # 47
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Being with him was so organic and natural, and everything was so easy with him, that at a certain point it was just how could it not be him? 🙂 I never thought about not marrying this man because it was simply the next logical step like inhaling to breather air. 

Post # 48
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee

That from day one she made me feel good about myself and that who I was as a person was more than good enough. 

With previous partners and people I dated I always felt like I wasn’t who they wanted me to be in some way and that they felt unsure about me and were waiting for something better to come along. But, from the moment we first met she was so genuine, warm and honest and made me feel so good about myself and secure. 

Post # 49
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: London

3 months into our relationship i found out id need to have surgery, and it would incapacitate me and make me dependant on others for 6-8 weeks at the least, with ongoing care for months after that. He came with me to the appointment where i learned this, and didnt bat an eye. On the day of the op he took the day off to pick me up and drop me off. He sat in his car and waited for close to 12 hours for me to come out, he dressed me, fed me, he even learned to french plait my hair for me so i could still feel pretty. 

He never once complained, or made me feel like i would owe him, or like he was doing me a favour, and it was then as i was sat with him platting my hair i knew this man was pure and honest and he loved me, without compromise and keeping score. 

Post # 50
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

This is going to sound so cliche, but I felt like in a way I’d known him forever. As we got to know each other and he encouraged me to speak up and communicate (difficult as I struggle heavily with anxiety/depression and see a therapist), and I realized I’d rather challenge myself and work through all of this at its hardest WITH him than be complacent but not as stressed without him. 

Post # 51
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Aww, I am so glad that you’ve found someone you can be completely yourself with, that’s really what it’s all about! All of these responses are so sweet 🙂 

I feel the same way about being able to be my full self around my partner, and I just love his sincerity and warmth, and compassion towards everyone. I love the way he shares my oddball sense of humor, and is never judgmental but always supportive. There are a couple of moments that stand out most for me as my “yep this is the right person for me!” moments- from early in our relationship, the way he treats all animals and especially our pets has always warmed my heart and made me certain this is the man I want to be the father of my children some day. And then more recently, I’d signed up for this Harry Potter event to read a piece of writing. I was taking it way too seriously even though it was supposed to be fun, and having a complete anxiety meltdown in the days leading up to it, not able to write anything I liked and just totally self-sabotaging. But as I’m sitting at my computer trying to think of something to write, he was sitting next to me practicing the ukulele as he’s been self-teaching, and I started to sing along with a spontaneous Harry Potter parody song lol. We do this around our house, I’ll start singing some song I make up about our cats or something, and he’ll play or sing along haha. We’re total dorks, but he always says I’m brilliant for my parodies lol! So anyways, I was jokingly like “hey, can we just do this for the Harry Potter event instead?” and he was like “hell yeah!” so instead of continuing down my anxiety spiral I got to spend the next couple of days writing silly songs about one of my favorite things with my favorite person, having the time of our lives. My man really got up on that stage with me and we had the best time and it went really well even though we messed up several times, and I would have never had the confidence to get up there and be my silly self without his support (in fact, I probably would have bailed on the whole event honestly). I know that’s such a goofy, nerdy answer, but it was just another moment of confirmation that I was exactly where I was meant to be <3

Post # 52
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

bbk8 :  That made me laugh out loud lol! Ironically, our shared love of potatoes (and my fiance’s skill at making the best version I’ve ever had of all of my favorite forms of potatoes) is one of my favorite things about him haha! I always joke that “I’m definitely marrying the right person, potato-wise”. 

Post # 53
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

Sometimes I look at my fiance and think it is so weird where we are today. I met him when I was probably 14 and for years basically stood by his side for almost 4 years rarely speaking to him. We were in the same extra curriculars which was a very intenstive program at our school. I was in the same room or outside with him constantly. 

Wanted not a thing to do with him.

Then he reached out to me ~2.5 years ago (I am 30 now). I was posting a lot of concerns on social media with neighbors. He just asked if I was ok due to safety issues. We talked more on social media platform in a few hours than we did for 4 years! Lol.

I think he was “smitten” from day one… but I still wasn’t that into him. I was probably being a bit reserved from taking a break from dating and many bad break ups. I debated on not seeing him anymore. (He knows all this now).

But I guess he just… grew on me. There is a difference between being terrified of discussing a future with someone (because they are crazy or not the one) and being able to just have a fluid and comfortable conversation with them. I wasn’t scared to talk about a future. 

He works hard. Served this country (USA) and lucky to be alive. He always opens the door for me… constantly… His mom is sick with a degenerative disease and seeing him respect her and help walk her to the bathroom and get her whatever she needs is nice to see. His dad does the same and humbles me to see that he got his kindness from his dad. Just his everyday acts of kindness. He brings out the best in me. And I slowly gain patience and just overall better characteristics unfold in ME through being with him. 

Ultimately… when people tell me they can see how much he adores me and loves me… even though I can’t see it like they do. Like I know he does… I just wonder what it is they see versus all the other idiots I have brought home? I just thought hearing that was special… when everyone else in the world can see his loyalty and love…

Post # 54
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

He literally makes me a better person.

He calls me on my bullshit. I have a habit of pushing the envelope and I’m pretty hard headed, and he isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m being so. Before him, everyone I dated was a pushover and I kind of took advantage of it. He’s just as strong of a personality as I am and brings out a better version of me. Sometimes it makes me so angry but I know I need someone equal to me in that way, and I love him for it.

Post # 54
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

bluejaybride :  I’m so glad you have a mutual potato bond! 🙂 He’s honestly the only other person I’ve met that doesn’t like them, so the moment he said “I really don’t like potatoes” I thought, yep, this is the man for me. 😀

Post # 55
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

 For me it was 2 months into our relationship. We were long distance at the time because we met in college and we were off for summer break. I had my first ever seizure at work and ended up taking an ambulance to the hospital. I texted him “Hey I’m in the ICU” and then fell asleep for 6 hours. I was pretty out of it and forgot to tell him that I was only in the ICU because the rest of the hospital was full. They were just keeping me overnight for observation.  Because I fell asleep I didn’t answer any of his texts or calls. He didn’t have phone numbers for my parents either, so he scoured the internet to find the phone number for our very small family business. His absolute panic made me realize how much he cared for me. Of course I felt like a terrible person for freaking him out like that though.

Post # 56
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think there was a moment.  It was just an overall sense of ease whenever I was around him.  He makes my life easier.  He is someone I can depend on 100%.  I have never felt this type of security with someone.

 

 

Post # 58
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

When he openly admired my intellect and kind of showed me off to his friends .When his  sister said he was ‘punching above  above  his  weight’ and he laughed delightedly. When he upped and moved states because I had go back to my home state. 

He is my h. of many years now.  

Post # 59
Member
4041 posts
Honey bee

I was dating a couple of men and my little cousin was visiting with her family. The first guy, who always talked about having sons and was starting to make noise about getting engaged just stood there, rooted to the spot when little cousin ran over to him. Next day the second guy shows up and she runs up to him. He immediately crouched down and started talking to her and making her laugh. That’s when I thought there might be something really good there. Then he showed me a picture of his childhood dog in his wallet. That was it, I was sold. Sure enough we were engaged after 6 months together and have been married for about seventy million years.

Post # 60
Member
514 posts
Busy bee

It really is just a feeling of belonging, comfort and contentment when you find your person I think. Although my husband can be a moody ass, he is also the man who has made me feel the most loved, accepted and secure in my life. When I opened up to him about my deepest darkest insecurity that has made me feel unlovable my whole life, he gave me so much love and acceptance I was shocked. He is so non-judgemental and has such a big good heart. He also is really supportive of me and my mental health struggles and family issues. I’ve never felt such strong love and support before. So while he can be a selfish ass on his grumpy days, deep down he is the most loving good-hearted person. 

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