(Closed) What made you realize you were at the ‘waiting’ phase?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My Fiance and I knew we would get married for several years before getting engaged. It was just a question of when, but my Fiance actually knew I wanted to wait whereas he wanted to propose. We knew that once I graduated from college, it was only a matter of timing.

It actually probably would have been another 6 months to a year away, except my mom got very sick. So for us, we’re rushing a little to make sure that my mom will be healthy enough to be there. My Fiance knows that it’s really important to me, so our plans kind of sped up a little. Our engagement will only be 8 months!

Post # 4
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My SO and I started talking seriously about marriage about the 8th month mark of our relationship. But my waiting didn’t really start until we decided to move in together and he asked for my dad’s blessing. After that, we suggested we go look at rings. For me, that’s when the waiting really began. Now, he tells me he has a plan and tells everyone else, it will be “soon”. I think he’s planning to do it 8/8/2012 which is not terribly soon in my books. Oh well, what can I do?

Post # 5
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the “waiting” stage starts once you and your SO have made it clear that your plan is to get married and put some parameters on that (i.e., it changes from “someday” to “once x happens” or “within x amount of time”).

I’ve been with my SO for about 4.5 years, and while we knew from several months into our relationship that we wanted to spend our lives together, we didn’t really feel ready to get married right away. So I would say that I probably entered the waiting period about 1.5 years ago? Although I knew I wanted to marry him long before then, I wasn’t really expecting a proposal prior to that point, nor were we discussing what kind of rings I liked, etc. 

Something to keep in mind when you hit the waiting stage–be as patient and calm as you can, and communicate with your SO as rationally as possible. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by your emotions and excitement and frustration, but it never helps things move any faster. Trust him as much as possible and it will make things much easier for both of you.

Post # 6
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Even though we both knew we would get married after about 3 months, I didn’t feel like I was ‘waiting’ until after we had graduated university, moved in together and both had jobs.

Post # 7
Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I realized that I was waiting when we moved in together and basically starting talking about marriage.  I also realized we were waiting when we introduced are families.  The big push to waiting was one we starting looking at rings.

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I never considered myself to be in the waiting phase (since I’d never heard of it before the Bee haha) even though I guess I was. We were living together for about a year before he proposed, so I guess I was waiting that whole time.

Post # 9
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had “the talk” because we could tell our relationship was changing.  We had come to a point where we could continue on dating “casually” (for lack of a better word) or make a serious commitment to one another.  We both agreed that we wanted to get married and start our lives together.  We talked about what I wanted in rings.  We never put a timeline on it or anything like that.  He completely surprised me and I’m glad I didn’t know when it was happening!

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I never considered myself “waiting” at all.  I don’t personally like the implications of the phrase or the concept.  I am all for enjoying your life and your relationship, while making sure you are comfortable with where you are and where you are going together. 

Post # 11
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

I sort of crept into the waiting stage. we moved in together and I thought a proposal would be good. I sort of looked at rings and jokingly sent them to him. but it was clear he just wasn’t there yet. 2 years later in November we went ring shopping suddenly and I knew he was finally there. that was when I went through my manic waiting stage (lol) and now I am in the happily waiting stage. where I know a proposal is coming in the next few months. and I just can’t wait!

Post # 12
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

SO told me 3 months into our relationship that he thought that spring of this year would be a good time to get engaged (that was about a 15 months ago).  I really didn’t think about it much until the beginning of 2012, but when I realized we were getting close to the end of SO’s “timeline” I started to get antsy.  That’s when I would say I starte the “waiting period.”  I guess I feel like it’s not “waiting” until you’re consciously waiting for something to happen.  Now that the timeline has come and gone, I really feel the wait.  Fingers crossed that SO decides to put me out of my misery sometime soon!

Post # 13
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I felt that my waiting phase began before what most on here have mentioned. It started before my SO and I had ever actually talked specifically about our plans to get married.

He had been filming a few of his friends weddings and seeing the footage really got me thinking about getting married to him. We started having spontaneous conversations about the serious stuff, like what we would name our kids, parenting, cost of a wedding, marriage (although we just talked about what we individually wanted not what we saw ourselves having together) This is when I started feeling like I was waiting (about 8 months in). Soon after we started having these talks he confessed to me that he wants to marry me one day when he has more money.

I still don’t really expect a proposal for maybe another year or two, probably would not happen ’til I am out of college, but I just am so excited for that time in my life and that is what makes me feel that I am waiting.

Post # 14
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

For me, when I realized that while I am an excellent person, two people, working together are stronger, as in, one hand can clap….but two hands make a sound…..I realized that I was beginning the waiting phase of wanting to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.

That was 9 years ago.

Post # 15
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

Manfriend and I have been together 1.5 years and the last year has been so rough, he lost both of his paprents 9 months apart and I injured my back and was on bedrest for nearly 4 months. Thesse have been the toughest times in either of our lives and we were both there for each other unconditionally and fully. Mum kept telling me that anyone else would have left me when I was injured, not be there every night like he was!

I knew then that we could face anything together and that we really love each other and that our r/ship is true and honest (unlike any of or previous r/ships). I know in my heart that Manfriend is the man I will marry and he knows this and has hinted at the idea of us being married.

He is 18 years older than me and has only had one real r/ship before and a couple of short term gfs, so he is a bit hesitant so am just happy to wait for now. I want him to be absolutely sure when he asks me. That said, tomorrow is my birthday and it sure would make a fabullous present! Hehe!

Post # 16
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

Just got nails done and can’t type properly! Sorry about the typos! :/

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