(Closed) what makes one wedding better than another

posted 11 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly, I think it’s beauty in the eye of the beholder.  Each wedding, while following traditions, has different experiences that are special to people for different reasons.  I don’t think that it’s a what question but a feeling question.  Even if you go to the courthouse and get married and then go to a small romantic restaurant with those that you love, that’s a wonderful wedding. 

Post # 4
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

The best wedding I’ve ever been to had an amazing band and a lot of people that loved each other and everyone spent the night on the dance floor. That is what I hope for my day.

Post # 5
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I really think the atmosphere is what makes a great wedding!

When you can see that a couple is truly in love with one another & that they’re doing this for them… its just wonderful! If there is turmoil or trouble between families, all the guests can tell & it’s awkward.

Ooooh!! And you must have hot food. People will eat whatever you give them, but if its meant to be hot & is cold when served… it ruins the meal!

Post # 6
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with RecessionistaBride, it is the overall atmosphere of a wedding, more of a feeling, I think, than a specific thing like Oh pretty Bridesmaid or Best Man dress or whatever. I honestly don’t remember much about the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, flowers, or a lot of the other details after a wedding. I DO remember the general feeling of happiness, love & joy (OR lack of) as well as fun music & a packed dance floor. I attended a destination wedding in a beautiful location a few years ago, but the venue didn’t allow dancing….I remember my family & I leaving as soon as was polite to go to a club & get our dance on! No dancing = HUGE disappointment in my family. LOL!!!

Post # 7
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I have to agree with recessionista – I love the weddings where the couples are truly happy and so excited to be marrying. 

A great band or music doesn’t hurt, either : )  I tend to remember the weddings where everyone was on the dance floor having a great time.

Post # 8
15 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree 100% with Recessionista – Atmosphere is everything! Proper food temperature is also essential. In December, my fiance and I attended an out of state wedding in Newport RI – very posh. While the reception was held at a prestigious hotel, with luxurious decorations, (Christmas theme) our dinners were cold! I have eaten cold chicken, but cold filet and salmon not so much. Now I’m not complaining about the open-bar, (ever-flowing Pinot Grigio for me, endless beer for Jeff) but on an empty stomach? Technically on our dime, too! Considering our travel expenses…

Needless to say, we ordered pizza from a local place and had it delivered to the hotel around midnight. Not only was it hot upon arrival, but one of the best pie’s this girl ever had! Well, now, that could just be the Pinot talking


Post # 9
44 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

i think one of the most imporant things to do is sit down and write a list of priorities before you budget.

put these in order of most important to least important:

Floral- faux vs fresh and small vs large

Food- huge reception dinner vs finger food

Wedding party attire- mismatch dresses vs matching dresses/shoes

Invitations- staples vs designer

Decorations- minimalist vs extravagant

Cake- cupcakes vs 7 tier cake

Favors- ten jordan almonds vs jewelry boxes for the ladies

Wedding dress- free heirloom or department store styles vs high fashion boutique

Venue- backyard vs country club

Photography/Videograph- disposable vs renound professional

Cocktail hour- bud light vs champagne


it is very useful in setting your priorities and dividing the budget appropriately.

of course, hopefully! every aspect of your wedding is important to you but WHAT MAKES YOUR WEDDING is honestly taking pride in the things that are most important to you.

Post # 10
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Good question.  I’m taking it, you are asking from a guest’s perspectiv, what makes a wedding better.  I don’t think guests care that much about a bride’s dress or other bridal party attire.  I think that is more for the bride and groom, which is fine.  Guests might admire the attire, but  I don’t think it causes them to have a bood or bad time. 

Food:I think food can be important.  Food can taste fine but not really knock the wedding out of the park.  But if there is a unique cuisine, a memorable food display etc., that certainly helps.

Venue: Certainly people can have a good time in smeone’s backyard or a lousy time at an upscale venue.  But  I think if you are providing something that’s different, whether it’s rustic and chic or has fountains and marble all around, that helps.  Once I went to an outdoor wedding that was fairly inexpensive.  A lot of the desserts were homeade etc.  It was great.  It was different.  And everyone was laughing, joking around.

People:  I actually think this might be the most important.  If the guests are entertaining and people like to get up and dance, it’s contagious.  People are friendly and striking up conversations.  I’ve been to weddings where no one has wanted to go dance.  I dance some, but if no one else is up there, I am too self conscious to dance.  Therefore it becomes kind of lame and reminds me of a 6th grade school dance.  And also I agree with the part about families being loving.  If a family is arguing and being grumpy, not good.  the wedding will be memorable, but not in a good way.

Post # 11
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

There are so many things that can make one wedding better than another but I believe the most important is the atmosphere. Whether it’s the venue, flowers, decor, music, or food. Of course you and your hubbie are getting married, and that should be the most important thing to you, but what about all your family and friends who are coming to celebrate. You want to please them, impress them, have them enjoy themselves 110%. I always notice 3 things when I go to weddings, the first the wedding dress, of course. Second, the flowers, and 3rd, the food, it better be warm and good! In the end you want to make your wedding memorable for yourself and your guests, and the way to do that is to make everything as close to perfect as you can. Cold food, a bad band/DJ… those things will stand out. But in the end, every wedding is a party, no matter what goes wrong.

Post # 12
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am doing lots of details because tehy are things I love, but I know peopel aren’t going to enjoy my weddign more or less because of the little details. It has to do with the band, the couple and anything that puts less financial stress on the guests.

Post # 13
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with everyone on the atmosphere. I tend to enjoy myself more at weddings with a more relaxed setting; where everyone can just enjoy themselves and in which the bride and groom really look themselves.

Sometimes, though, I think it just depends on the kind of people the bride and groom’s family are. I went to a wedding not too long ago that was super fancy and elegant. That was the kind of wedding she had wanted since she was little, so that is what she had.  Unfortunately, the bride’s family (who were the majority of guests) were not the dancing kind and were all visibly uncomfortable with having to be so formal. Needless to say it felt rather uncomfortable the whole time. We were all just ready to get out of there.

Post # 14
2029 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think that having a space that is properly sized for the number of guests attending is important for a good wedding.

I attended one wedding where everything was really lovely, but the reception hall was HUGE compared to the few guests in attendance. It made it feel like it wasn’t much of a party. If they had just used a smaller room, people would have been able to socialize better and it would have looked well-attended.

Conversely, I attended one wedding at a private home with WAY too many guests to fit (300-400 guests in a small suburban townhome). There was no room to stand, no way to locate the food, no way to see the ceremony, etc. It was so hot and stressful that we left early.

Post # 15
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Atmosphere is created by so many different elements

The order of things that I notice about weddings 

1) Food! – I don’t want to leave the reception and need to stop at a burger place because the food was bad or the portions were microscopic.

2) Bar! – Social lubricant. Especially important if I don’t know many people at the wedding. It is a fact of life that a good bar and bartender can make a world of difference at a party!

3) Band! – It is fun to dance the night away. It is not fun to sit at a table and make small talk all night. Usually if the band/DJ is bad then people have no reason to stay after the cake is cut.

4) Location – if it is 100 degrees outside you better have some fans or have it inside with AC. If it is artic temps get some heaters. I know you cannot control the weather (rain especially) but if you are doing it outside have a tent or be really really lucky.

5) Is the couple enjoying themselves? It makes everyone uncomfy if the bride is freaking out over the details or if there is family strife. I know weddings are supposed to be a happy time but I have seen a few where the families make scenes. Not pretty. Very awkward.

6)  Out of all of the weddings I have been to, I can only remember the flowers for 2 of them. And that is only because they were really really amazing or awful

7) I cannot remember what anyone’s invites look like. Usually I just put the important info on my calander and toss the invite. (sry ladies but the invites just don’t matter that much to me)

8) I tend to remember the Bridesmaid or Best Man attire more so than the brides dress (weird I know). Try not to make your bridesmaids wear horrific outfits.

9) I always remember the couple leaving.

10) The ceremony music. Does anybody but the bride remember this? I do know that I have come to dispise the singing of the Lords prayer because it is unbelievably long and everyone is just standing there looking around. Awkward! 


Post # 16
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think its all relative. We might think one wedding is absolutely amazing while another person would deem it "tacky". Being a photographer I’ve been to a lot of different weddings, and my favorite ones always end up being the ones where they’re so filled with love, you could almost burst.

One wedding I remember the most was one where each the bride and groom had recently each lost one of their parents, and during the toasts everyone was crying and holding hands. I was crying too! It’s a good thing I had a big camera to hold infront of my face. It was so touching, you could tell how happy every single person in that room was for that couple. And you know I couldnt even tell you what flowers they had or what her dress looked like, any of it. I just remember that incredible feeling of love and support.– that truely is whats important.

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