Our first year of marriage was SUPER stressful because of the events that were going on in our lives at the time (completely separate from getting married.)
We both graduated from law school two weeks after getting back from the honeymoon and then proceeded to spend the next 2.5 months studying for the bar. If you’ve never done it…don’t. It’s like living in a cave where you don’t go outside except to get the mail and go to the grocery store for more food. We never saw each other because he studied up at the school library and I studied at home.
After that we both were unable to find jobs with firms, so my husband went out on his own, and I took my part-time photography business full time.
Money has definitely been a big issue for us. We don’t fight about it in the sense that he spends too much or I spend it on things he doesn’t approve of, but there’s always this TENSION in our lives that comes from being unsure of when the next time we’re going to get paid is.
Ever since we got engaged, (and a while before that too) we’ve viewed ourselves as a team. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true.
You’re in it together forever, so you make things work. Life isn’t always romantic and exciting, but you have to appreciate the little things in life so that you can be happy! Just because you’re in a bad mood because of [insert annoyance here] doesn’t mean that you can just take it out on your spouse. Likewise, if he’s in a bad mood because of something, try to focus on what is going right in your lives to get him out of it.
You’re both going to fail at things, whether it’s not having enough patience, things at work, forgetting chores, whatever. The important thing is that whenever your spouse falls down, you’re the one who is there to pick them up.
Support each other unconditionally, even when you’re grumpy and don’t feel like it. Designate tasks around the house as yours and his. Don’t expect his to get done just because it’s “his job.” You’ll probably have to ask a few times.
Don’t forget to hug and kiss each other, and snuggle whenever you can 🙂