- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
I hope this doesn’t stir any debate, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I just need someone to talk to! 🙁
My husband is supporting us so that I can finally pursue my dream of becoming a nurse. He works on commission, so it’s a whole lot of stress for him to take on. I have offered to take on a weekend job, or even an evening job, but he’s said no several times. If I work weekends, then he can’t travel out of town. He works in the mortgage industry, and on the weekends every once in awhile they have auctions that help him boost the sales of his bank’s foreclosure properties and bring in quick money for him.
Anyway, now that I’ve been home for the summer, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed. He’s never asked me to take on extra chores, but I feel like if I’m home.. then he shouldn’t have to split chores like he used to. He used to do tubs/toilets/hardwoods/adult laundry/cooking 2-3 nights a week, but I’ve taken it all on.
But I feel like it is coming at a price. I had this image in my head of a stay-at-home mom.. I would bake, there would never be any dust, dinner would be meat and veggies every night and ready when he walked in the door, I would still somehow manage to take a shower and look hot, and the kids would be perfectly happy.. we would go on fun outings and adventures and would be having the time of their lives.
But I just can’t do it all and I’m feeling like I have to make sacrifices where I don’t want to! 🙁 And I just end up feeling like I’m failing all over the place. Dinner has been on the table every night.. but it’s not always ready when he gets home. My wood floors are so disgusting I’m embarrassed, the dust-oh the dust, the kids aren’t getting out every day to do something fun, I’m definately sweaty and gross when he gets home, and I haven’t had “me” time in so long I could cry.
So how do you do it? And what makes you feel like a good sahm, or housewife?
I checked into getting a cleaning service, and they want $115/every other week, which we just can’t do. I almost feel like if I have a job.. I wouldn’t feel so obligated to be so perfect, kwim? I just am starting to feel like a worthless mooch that can’t seem to get anything right. Please tell me someone can relate. 🙁