(Closed) What more does she expect from me!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Are your FI’s parents paying for anything besides the difference in price for the food?  Because, honestly, if they are not paying for anything, I would take the exact opposite approach: I would keep her OUT of the loop on everything.  If she’s not paying, she does not have a say.  Period.

And your Fiance should really help you out by standing up to his mother and telling her to butt out.  Otherwise, yeah, he is going to be stuck in the middle! 

Post # 4
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree wit everything the above poster said…he needs to tell her to butt out nicely!

Post # 5
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i had this same issue with my Mother-In-Law.  hubs is her only child so i called myself trying extra to involve her in everything, especially since he didnt care what i decided on and certainly didnt call her with details.  in the end, i stopped sharing the details with her.  she had an opinion and unsolicited criticism about EVERYTHING.  she didnt like the colors, she didnt like that it was a “cocktail and hors duerves” reception, she didnt like that the BMs wore different dresses…huh!  i didnt like that she had all these dang opinions but no $$ to pony up.

in the end, the rehearsal dinner became her project.  i offered no advice, opinion, input… it was completely hers to plan and she stayed out of my dang hair for like 5 months (of a 10 month engagement, which tells you how nutzo she went).

my advice is to find a project that you dont care that much about, and turn it over to her completely.  she’ll get to feel like she’s in control, and you wont mind that her tastes are the polar opposite of yours.  our Rehearsal Dinner was hideous In My Humble Opinion (and she spent $3000…why she couldnt have had something a little cheaper and helped towards the wedding is a whole separate complaint) but she was happy, so whatever.

Post # 7
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Meeting with your vendors without and before you is not acceptable. I would tell her to mind her own business and leave her out of any future planning decisions. Sorry to be so un-PC, but it seems you have done a lot already and if you don’t nip this in the bud now, she will take over your wedding completely.

Post # 8
14 posts

At least your Fiance is supporting you.  Definitely practice drawing the line.  If I were you I would leave her out of the loop more.  It sounds like you have been more than accomadating but if you let her get so involved, just wait till you have kids. aah!

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