(Closed) What not being able to fall asleep on Christmas has taught me

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

๐Ÿ™ Get some rest and re-evaluate your feelings on a full night’s sleep.  And try to have a merry Christmas! 

Post # 4
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@claireos: Hi! I hate to join this thread, but here I am at home all by my lonesome while my husband is working the overnight. Booo! I’ll give him credit; he got Thanksgiving off for me because I asked, but it was no small feat.

Christmas means nothing to HIM, but to me, it’s nearly everything. It would be helpful if he acknowledged it was special to me and made the effort to make it special WITH me, but this year has been bad for us too. I’m not fed up, I’m just disappointed that his career never sleeps.

Post # 5
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@adnama: Agree. Sometimes things seem much more bleak at night than in the light of day ๐Ÿ™

Post # 6
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

my fi works at a bar so he comes in anytime between 3 and 5 tonight was no different. I just take a nap.

It’s sad not to get to do the clock at midnight thing with him though

New Year is when I get upset

Post # 7
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Aww ๐Ÿ™ I know how you feel. When my Fiance and I moved in together he used to work nights so I’d have to stay up until about 2AM if I wanted to spend time with him when he got off, and I hated it. I’m sorry you feel this way on Christmas ๐Ÿ™ I hope your day gets better and you get some good sleep!

Post # 8
Member
3100 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i used to be just like this. bending over backwards doing everything to be the best girlfriend (so he would make me his wife). then i realized that i am the prize, not him. he should be doing everything in his power to make you happy. so… just stop. you make yourself happy (doing something besides focusing on him) and he will work to make you happy. or not. and if he doesn’t, then he’s not the one.

this is so lame, but reading things from the site havetherelationshipyouwant.com (god, i know it’s lame) really helped me. i was all masculine energy, which made his life comfortable and easy, but it also allowed him to sit back while i did all the work.

i could go on and on, but if you change your behavior to do things that make you happy, hopefully he will, too.

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When Fiance and I first got together we both worked over night, almost the same schedule and it was great.  But a year and a half ago I got moved to working 4-M, and he works 10-6am, 6 days a week.  We don’t have a day off together at all unless my work is slow and i get an extra day off in the middle of the week which my boss is really good about giving me every now and then so we can have date nights.  

But Fiance works every holiday, and usually 12 hours, which really sucks. I usually go home to my family (2 hours away) and leave him at our apt.  That may sound mean, but he would rather I go home and enjoy holidays than be bored at our apt alone all night.  Plus his family lives only 30 min from our apt so it’s easy for him to go celebrate with them before/after work.  

Honestly, I’m just grateful he has a job and I feel lucky to have him so I’d always find a way to make it work.  But I can see how it sucks for you.  I’m guessing you have a complete opposite schedule?  How many days a week do you stay up to see him?  Do you guys have days off together?  

I used to stay up till 6am to have time to see Fiance when he gets home from work, but since about september I have started going to bed earlier because I get too tired.  We see a lot of each other on tues, fri, sat, sun, but not much on mon, wed, thurs. That’s just the way it is.  But i try to think of it this way, at least we aren’t statesd away, or oceans away, ya know? We get to see each other a lot more than some relationships and I am grateful for that.  Try to look at the postive side.  And don’t be the one always “giving in” and making sacrifices.  Don’t stay up all the time, just go to bed.  It’s not a big deal if you don’t see him every night.  

Post # 11
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have to be honest that I don’t quite get this post. My husband has worked 2nd shift our entire relationship. He works from 3-midnight. I worked 8-5 the majority of our relationship. I stay up every night because I want to see him. I love him and want to spend time with him. I take a nap on most nights between 8-10 so that my sleep doesn’t suffer. Is this post about his work schedule? or more about him not giving as much as you? I don’t think this is about his schedule but more about the fact that you feel neglected.

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