(Closed) What not to say to a bride-to-be

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Immediatley after the engagement, it was:

About the ring: “It’s so dainty!”  “Oh how cute!”  “Are you engaged? I couldn’t tell because your ring doesn’t look like an engagement ring.”  This was a ring made by a local jeweler that I picked out because I thought it was unique.

Conversely, I subsequently got an heirloom ring (read: larger diamond, looks like a typical engagement ring) from family. First comment I got:

“Oh did you know that diamonds are a total sham, right? It’s just a DeBeers marketing campaign. Like I”m sure your fiance spent a lot of money on that ring but it’s all just a sham!” This was from a married male co-worker. After I told him the ring was an heirloom and we spent all of $50 for resizing, he was like, “Oh. Good job.” 

Wtf. Can’t win. Either it doesn’t look like a “typical” engagement ring, or I’ve been suckered into a sham? Everone mind your own damn business.

About plus ones: 

“Can I bring [insert uninvited plus one I never met here]?? They don’t have to eat!”  Right. Because I totally want my meticulously planned wedding reception to have a bunch of randos off to the side staring at us eating dinner.

Also, I found that giving an inch led to people taking a mile.  I let someone bring their cousin as their plus one. By the wedding, somehow that guest’s whole damn family has wrangled an invite.

Post # 47
Member
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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Sukii:  I have to know… how did the third one go?

Post # 48
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

” So what are you doig for cake/flowers/honeymoon/any other detail?”

Me:”Oh we’re doing *insert my choice of cake/flowers/honeymoon/ other details* I think it will be nice and we’re trying to not be too over-the-top”

“Oh. That’s interesting. What if you…”

Me: -_- Thanks. Too bad you weren’t there to help plan or pay and it’s already been done.

<br /><br />OR my favorite is when people ask about our ceremony and I tell them it’s going to be an non-religious ceremony outside  (20 minutes tops) the first weekend in November. They proceed to tell me it will be cold and what about my guests. Bitch, I have to stand outside too. BYE!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  SammiCoJo.
Post # 49
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

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lambert63:  Tht is my worst fear with plus ones. Even though our reception is at the same place as the ceremony I relly wanted a guest list, but people told me that would be a bitch move. I’m sorry but I am not paying for the food, but I don’t want my Father-In-Law or my mom to have to pay extra for someone who wants a free meal and party on a Saturday night.

Post # 50
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

from my Fiance friend going through a divorce while i was sitting next to him, “i dont know why you guys are getting married” and then my Fiance had said something snooty to me (very jokingly) about moving our table and i joked back but i dont think his friend thought it was a joke and AGAIN said, “are you sure you guys wanna get married?” i know he is going through a rough time and it was probably said ‘in good fun’ but it was extremely awkward since i know he was only saying it because hes going through the divorce himself and were in such a happy place that i just had nothing to say back

Post # 51
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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MrsBuesleBee:  omg !! This is the worst lol omg ur eating that?!? Ur getting married this summer don’t you even care ? 

Wow look at you so nonchalant, eating carbs

Post # 52
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Beach

When I broke the news, my grandma congratulated me by stating that “you want your first one to be special”. AKA: I want my first WEDDING/MARRIAGE to be special”. Just because my parents got divorced, doesn’t mean I will!

Post # 53
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

“Why would you spend such a ridiculous amount on a wedding, when you could have _______________”. Shut up and mind your own damn business. 

Post # 54
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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lareolin:  

Why are you spending so much on one night ? 

oh wow, thats “different” 

dont you want to buy a house instead ? 

It’s just one night and passed by so fast for me so don’t worry too much 

all these statements irk me lol 

Post # 55
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Well, I’ve been really stressed about wedding planning, so my dad said that it seems like a lot now, but by the time my wedding day comes around, I’m just gonna wanna “get it over with”.  I was like, thanks Dad.  Good to know I’m pouring blood, sweat, and tears into something I’ll want to get over with.  I get what he was saying, but COME ON…

Post # 56
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

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SammiCoJo:  I really screwed up the plus ones situation. I tried to be nice, and not make the bitch move, like you said. If I could go back in time, I would say a firm no from the get go and just get called a bitch.  You can’t win either way, might as well go with the option where you don’t pay for people’s free dinners. I feel like people are manipulative (some people asked me for plus ones after they had a really shitty week, like jobhunting stress or family troubles, I just felt like I couldnt say no). Afterward, I felt really manipulated. I do feel like a lot of the people who asked for plus ones just want a free meal and a party, and our wedding itself is just an afterthought. Sigh.

Anyway, hold your ground. I’m sure the next request I’m going to get is “my cousin’s neighbor’s sister’s daughter’s dog needs a plate at the reception too!”

Post # 57
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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jess9090:  This so much! I’ve had so many comments from family members about how I “have” to do this “can’t” do that.  It’s my wedding, I’ll do as I damn please!

Post # 58
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t know if this applies to all of the bees out there because we are having a rather long engagement. At least 2 year engagement and we’ve been dating for 8 now…people who haven’t seen us in a while or since engagement start by “are u married yet?” and then some go as far as “are u guys still together?” some even said “you’re not married yet are you because I didnt get the invite” no we are not married and i know now not to invite you. sometimes i just chuckle and don’t let it bother me but sometimes it irks me so much like right now thinking about it…lol 

Post # 59
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

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lambert63:  That’s my exact fear. I want people there who either me or my Fiance both know or at least one of us knows. Some people I have asked them if it’s ok they don’t get a plus one, or we have told certain friends to save on invitations that THIS person will be your plus one. I have a few friends though who have a “flavor of the week” and every month they have a new BFF. I have told them that they get a plus one BUT I must know this person. I just really don’t want this getting out of hand because it’s one thing I really don’t want my mom or Father-In-Law to have to write a check for the day of.

Post # 60
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Winery

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Sukii:  I think I speak for everyone when I say I need to know more about #3. How did the Bride respond? Did they end up staying together? That is horrifically awkward. 

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