(Closed) What Not To Wear???

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Can you say something like, "Wow!  Great dresses!  I’m just worried they are a little too form-fitting for my conservative relatives/inlaws/pastor/church/etc."

Then maybe offer to find a really inexpensive Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and suggest that they wear the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress with the option of changing into their dresses after the ceremony?

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Are you sure the dresses they were in are the right size and not sample sizes? If you bought from a bridal shop I’m sure the girls were squeezed into whatever size they had.

  If not, and that’s what they want to wear- I would let them (but I would ask they have them altered so they fit right).  I don’t think putting plus size girls in larger dresses really hides anything- I think it’s great they have the confidence to be proud of their figures- plus- to smooth them out you gift them spanx a girls best friend.  Goodluck!

Post # 5
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

You knew their sense of style when you decided to let them choose their own dresses, so I think you’re just going to have to deal with it. Of course, you could tell them that you’ve decided that you want them to wear specific dresses, then pick them out and pay for them yourselves.

Post # 7
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you’re buying the dresses then you should speak up, tactfully, like rosychicklet suggested. Also, maybe you can tell your Future Sister-In-Law that you’ve only budgeted a certain amount and that you’ll put $XX toward the dress and anything above that she’ll be responsible for paying. 

Post # 8
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

It sounds like you should give them a little more guidance.  Have you seen a style that would be more flattering on most of the girls?  It wouldn’t hurt to suggest a style that you like and just explain that you’ve had a change of heart about letting them pick their own.

I thought I was doing the fathers/groomsmen a favor by not making them rent identical tuxedos.  We requested that they all wear plain black suits.  I was very specific in the instructions, but they ended up wearing whatever they wanted.  They wore an array of suits in shades from navy to jet black… the one with pin stripes killed me! 

I guess everyone has their own interpretation of wedding fashion… if there is any doubt, give some additional guidance! 

Post # 10
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree with lc2be, let your Future Sister-In-Law know how much you’ll be putting towards everyone’s dress and tell her she can pay the rest if she wants to go above and beyond that.  She should consider it a blessing that you’re paying in the first place!

Post # 11
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, since your dollars are going towards these dresses you can tell them that you are concerned they are a little too revealing for the more classic wedding you are trying to have, they aren’t appropriate for church, etc…something that would fit your situation.  Also, try not to stress to your girls too much about weight being an issue with you not liking how their dresses look on them because you don’t want to upset/offend them and make them feel badly about themselves.  All us girls come in many shapes and sizes, and I’m sure you can all find something that is flattering and would make them feel really beautiful.  You can possibly look for dresses that you really like and suggest it to them.  Unfortunately, because you sent them to find something they liked, it’s a little harder now because you don’t like what they chose.  At the end of the day you can just be happy for them and the fact that they found something they will be happy to wear many times.

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I think the best way to handle it — so you don’t hurt anyones feelings is to CHANGE YOUR MIND!! hahaha all brides do it… Find something you like and that you think they will look good in.. so many lines now have many dress shapes available in the same colors…  Call them… send an email whatever you have to do and tell them you are going a different direction and This (show them a picture) is what you have choosen… if you have to take them to a store one at a time and find the perfect dress… seriously even if you aren’t footing the bill its YOUR WEDDING!!

Best of luck… its sooo hard getting everyone on the same page. but in the end they will look their best and you will be proud to have them in your wedding pictures!

Post # 14
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

If you’re wanting a cheap alternative dress for them you should check out http://www.justthebeginnnigs.com. That’s where we got ours for under $80 each. Each girl picked out a dress they loved in the burgundy and they turned out great. Just another option for you if you’re interested, good luck.

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