Post # 1
Anyone else have someone that comes to mind? I hate to say it, but i’ve been saying it for a long time: I have tremendous anxiety about my mother being present at our wedding. Once we get engaged, you can count on seeing *alot* of posts from me on the subject.
A little background: she is in her late 50’s, currently on her way out of her 5th marriage and hopelessly addicted to being the center of attention. She has a pretty solid track-record of making a fool out of herself at family functions such as funerals and weddings. If she is at our wedding, I would bet my car on her doing or saying something to completely ruin the entire day for me and my SO.
Do any of you bees have someone in mind like this? What is your plan for handling it?
Post # 3
Not inviting them would be what I would do.I only invited the people that I wanted at my wedding. No one that wasn’t invited questioned anything, but I’m a pretty blunt person and if they would have questioned it I just would have told them straight out, since they asked.
Post # 4
One of my sisters – because she has been a bitch to me most of our lives! But she is family and too many people would be upset if I didn’t invite her so she will be there. I guess I have got used to her attitude by now and no longer really get upset by it!
Post # 5
I’m not inviting one of my aunts. She’s my mom’s sister, but has been a jerk to me my whole life (and my mom too btw, my mom is just nicer than me lol). On my 16th birthday, at my family birthday party, she called me a “spoiled little bitch” because I said I wouldn’t date a guy my age who WILLINGLY drove a moped around – like he could’ve had a car or bike or whatever but prefers a moped haha. There are many more instances of her being rude but there are too many to list here.
Since then she’s gotten divorced, had a psychotic break and has been talking crazy shit about my mom. Even after my mom literally paid her rent, utilities, etc for 6 months when she couldn’t get out of bed to work. It’s one thing to talk shit about/to me but my mom is the sweetest most kind hearted person I know, and NO ONE treats her like crap when I’m around to stop it.
Post # 6
I don’t want to invite one of my aunts. She’s really a nut job and with my brothers wedding, she made nasty comments about it not being in a church- she’s catholic. I don’t reaaaaaally know if I would just suck it up an invite her or not. We barely talk anymore but I would hate for it to cause drama. I’ll talk it over with the family when the time comes
Post # 7
My older brother is coming for some reason – I invited him only because I invited everyone else. I have not had a conversation with him in years. My parents always treated him like a god and treated the girls like crap. He never had to do a chore or pay for anything and now he is a leech on my parents. My parents are also not coming and I am thankful of that. Future Mother-In-Law actually asked if me to ask my brother to escort me. FH and I laughed out loud.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
My mum’s parents and sister >.< and I think BF will be loath to his his grandmother there as well. Sadly, not inviting would very much not be an option in all of these cases.
If the time comes I’m just going to have to deal with all of the crazy XD
Post # 9
@badabing88: There are actually quite a few people who I don’t want coming to my wedding, but I kind of have to.
My mom’s oldest sister is one example…she love love loves being the center of attention and there is a TON of background info that I’m just not going to get into. Her first ex husband will be there, and probably her second ex-husband, too. There will be no if’s and’s or but’s about it. They were in my life for about 10ish years each, and I will have them there — it’s MY wedding, and they’re my uncles no matter what.
My dad’s brother is another person I don’t want there. He’s an alcoholic and I can see him showing up already drunk (he does it at family get-together’s…why wouldn’t he for my wedding, too?), and there is also a lot of background info that I don’t want him there either.
If I didn’t invite them, it would cause a LOT of family drama that I’d rather just not deal with. There are other people who I don’t want there, but I’ll kind of have to.
Post # 10
My sister and my brother. My older sister is a drug addict and drunk. I am worried she’d get drunk and make a scene, like crying and blubbering or something. I am inviting her, but I really don’t want to. I have barely seen her in 9 years, but I feel like I have to. She lives 2.5 hours away and doesn’t have a car or license so I’m hoping she won’t be able to make it. I am definitely not inviting my brother because he is an untreated schizophrenic and rants and raves. It’s so sad since he was “normal” only 2 years ago but that’s life, I guess.
Post # 11
SO’s mom, and that is alhere’s choice. They do not have great relationship and he resents her for a lot owhistles childhood experiences. At first she was wonderful to me and I didn’t really understand why he had so many negative feelings for her but now she has started to spread her special brand of “love” around. That of course makes SO dislike her even more. He has decided that more than likely she will not be invited
Post # 12
my FI’s cousin and cousin’s wife. I had a sexual past(very very long time ago before I knew Fiance and before his cousin had a wife) with FI’s cousin, Fiance, myself and the cousin have accepted the fact and moved on like adults but his wife refuses to talk to me or Fiance (will not even look me in the eyes). she does not even let the cousin talk to Fiance and keeps the cousin from attending family event because we are there. its really messed up…she has problems. I’m hoping they don’t come because I don’t want her crazy ass at my wedding. lol
I also have a long time friend whom has a meth head boyfriend. he is alway high and has a track record of stealing. I do not want him there…
Post # 13
My Aunt. I really didn’t want to invite her, we had a falling out a few years ago and my Mom has reconciled with her but I haven’t. My parents are paying majority for the wedding, and as it goes thee who pays gets the say so she has invited her. I don’t need to speak to her, I’ll just say hello and go about my day with the people I really do care about.
Post # 14
I disinvited my father months ago, we’ve had too many confrontations over the years and I know that he’ll say/do something to make me angry on our wedding day, my Fiance deserves better. Perhaps he’ll finally learn that the world really doesn’t revolve around him.
Post # 15
If I’m being totally honest, my father will bring me a lot of stress. He is a total attention whore, and has trouble with other people being happy. Plus, even though he wasn’t there raising me, he likes to play “protective dad” around my fiance – I think he saw the stereotype on tv and thinks it’s what he’s supposed to do.
I don’t want my mom’s brother or my dad’s brother there either but luckily I don’t have to invite them.
Post # 16
Certain cousins of mine that I haven’t seen or talked to in literally years. However, to keep the family peace, they were invited. I’m very close to a few cousins on that side of the family and REALLY want them at the wedding, but was informed by my dad that it was either all cousins, or no cousins, or else his siblings would cause drama. Out of respect for my dad, I did invite them, but I’m hoping they decline. They’re a bit…erm…redneck, and although there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, I don’t particularly want them and their kids running around in boots, jeans, and flannel shirts at the black tie event. I’m relatively confident they won’t show…they didn’t even RSVP to another family member’s wedding, and when asked about it, they claimed they didn’t know how to fill out the card.