(Closed) What part of wedding planning was most stressful to you?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: What was most stressful?
    Booking vendors : (8 votes)
    9 %
    Getting the nitty gritty details in order : (23 votes)
    26 %
    Making any type of decision : (9 votes)
    10 %
    Bridal party : (3 votes)
    3 %
    Any type of family issues : (28 votes)
    31 %
    Other ! : (19 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017 - A Historic Inn

    So far, it was stressful finalizing the guest list and rounding up addresses. I sent out Save-The-Date Cards in early December. I triple checked with everyone (FI, mom, dad, in-laws) about names and addresses for the Save-The-Date Cards. Naturally, I believed this would be our finalized guest list since our families were happy with who would receive the STD. NOPE! Last month, I was completing the invites when my Fiance and dad (who is paying) suddenly want to add like 20 people to the guest list! And they assumed I was a mind reader and had those people on the list originally, even though I sent them copies of it for them to proofread. Then it became MY responsibility to contact those new people for their addresses. SO. IRRITATING. Luckily, I’m an overplanner so I ordered quite a few extra invites, so I was able to send invites to everyone on the list. I would’ve felt super bad about not making sure my dad’s guests were on the list, since he’s paying. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I”m a DIY bride, and the thing that has been most stressful for me is making the mother’s wrist corsages.  All the other flowers came together beautifully, but those darn corsages are giving me nightmares!

    Post # 33
    Member
    3310 posts
    Sugar bee

    We were lucky as far as family went. We had contributions from both sides and they weren’t fussed about having any input. The week leading up to the wedding was SO BAD though… A week out our celebrant messed us around and tried to change our rehearsal time like THREE TIMES so I fired her and had to find a new one who could make both the rehearsal time and the ceremony. Then my MOHs grandmother died 6 days before and she wasn’t sure when the funeral would be and we weren’t sure if she’d make the rehearsal at all.  An (estranged) Aunt of mine died 2 days before too. I couldn’t attend her funeral as it was the day after we left for our honeymoon… So I felt really awful and  guilty about that 🙁

    Post # 34
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    soontobenoone :  
    View original reply
    heavenlyflower :  Lol feeling your pain guys. My Fiance was on the fence about inviting some aunts and uncles he hasn’t seen for a while. He told me that he had decided to invite them, so I asked him to collect the addresses. All he had to do was email his dad and get them. He couldn’t be bothered so he said “never mind, let’s not invite them”. 

    I can’t even! 

     

    Post # 35
    Member
    386 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I think ultimately it will be details. Major vendors are done and others are following suit, most family drama is organized and I have a plan to deal with, so I’m thinking details. Like, two nights before when I’m like “OMG we need a card box.”

    Post # 36
    Member
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Vendors/caterer hands down. That and deciding on who to invite and who not to. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    I haven’t read all of the replies cause my computer is being sluggish, but the ONLY stressful part for me was the guest list- everything else was exactly as stressful as expected, but the guest list did my head in (and the opinions! everyone has an opinion!). Even now after the wedding, we have comments from people that are annoyed that they didn’t get an invite (um, if you didn’t even know we were getting married, maybe that suggests that we aren’t that close?).

    My advice would be to ‘own’ a decision after you’ve made it- don’t let anyone’s opinion sway you, and only ask for opinions BEFORE you make a decision, not afterwards (none of this ‘look at my cake! how amazing is it?’ type thing).

    Post # 38
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee

    View original reply
    victoriad :  Give them away to shelters or op shops, blabkets are needed in winter

    Post # 39
    Member
    712 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Definitely the guest list – we both have large families so that was a bulk of the list right there; deciding our rules for kids and plus ones was a challenge; feeling bad that there are some people we’d like there, but just don’t have budget to accomodate everyone.

    Post # 40
    Member
    129 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    My Future Mother-In-Law is always asking way more questions than I feel is necessary, especially considering we’ve told her that our website is going to be FULL of info by the time the invites go out. Some of her questions can even be answered by doing a google/google maps search. They’re both retired, so it’s not as if there’s not time to find info themselves instead of barraging us with questions that we intend to answer for *everyone* on the website. We are still 6 months from the wedding and she wants us to write a list of things for extended family members to do (again, something we’ve said will be on the website). His family is MUCH more high-strung than my family. They’re very much “planners” and have to have (seemingly) every hour of a vacation planned out months in advance. They’ve visited our city about once a year for the past decade, so it’s also not as if they’re completely unfamiliar with it. My family, on the other hand, tends to have a couple ideas of things they want to do when they visit and then they just enjoy relaxing in our city and finding good places to eat. 

    I love his family, but they stress me out SO much sometimes.

    Again, note that we’ve both mentioned several times that all of this information they’ve been asking for will be posted on our website (and she does check the website…  often). 

    Okay… just saw this thread title and I needed to rant. haha

    Post # 41
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Day of timeline – can have a huge impact on how rushed you feel on the day and how comfortable your guests are. I put a lot of time and thought into this!

    Post # 42
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Wedding planning for the most part has been extremely easy.

     

    I voted for the nitty gritty details, I JUST bought my table numbers today, and paid for a custom made welcome sign last week. I had such a difficult time deciding on what style I wanted. I am having a black tie optional wedding and although our wedding is in a somewhat of a rustic venue (ski resort) I wanted to stay away from rustic everything else and make it formal yet light, airy, and whimsical.

     

    Another issue I came across was my fiancé has family in Texas he hasn’t seen or spoke to since he was about 8 years old so almost 30 years ago. Well his uncle passed away and they had a memorial service here in PA. The family left saying see you at the wedding. I am 100 percent paying for this wedding myself while my fiancé is taking care of our home and bills. I’ve made it clear I wanted a SMALLER intimate wedding with only people we both know and associate on a regular basis.

     

    It turns out my future Mother-In-Law invited his aunt, her two kids their spouses, their 7 kids between the two families. (Not to mention besides our flower girl we were having a ZERO child wedding).

     

    the next day I told my fiancé absolutely not. He has to tell his mom that he needs to tell these people she spoke in error. Foot was down. So she did. That was in November. Fast forward to the beginning of March I get the invites in the mail and start assembling them and my fiancé sits down and says we need to talk. So he proceeds to tell me his mom called and begged to at least invite his aunt and cousin-in-law because the aunt really wants to come and re-bond with the family. And she is coming regardless because she already bought a plane ticket. 

     

    I was was furious for days and I still am because I feel it is SO rude, when one no one is helping with this cost of this wedding, and two we don’t know you! I have an aunt I still talk to but she isn’t invited and I’m not inviting my own mother for other reasons but it’s the point.

     

    that is pretty stressful but I’ve just let it go even though I’m livid about it. For me the details are still the most difficult part.

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