Post # 1
To start I’m a UK bee so it’s completely normal to have a ceremony guest list and a separate reception guest list.
When we were doing the list I asked one of my friends – who is invited to both ceremony and reception – about her boyfriend. They’ve been together quite a long time, it’s not my place to comment on commitment but she’s said herself it won’t be for a LONG time. So when I asked her about inviting him she said ‘it doesn’t bother me, you don’t have to’ We invited him to the reception, sent out the save the dates and that was that. *we sent the Save-The-Date Cards out a while in advance because our wedding is a weekday at the start of UK summer holidays*
Since sending them out we haven’t heard a thing about him. I realised yesterday we haven’t even seen the guy since January last year. Whenever my friend and I meet up I’m so conscious not to be the girl who only ever talks about her wedding, so I try all the time to steer conversation to them, how they’re doing, how work is etc and I generally just get ‘yeah it’s good’ in response. Fiance went to see something on her partners Facebook the other day and went ‘oh, he’s deleted me’ so I had a look on mine…. deleted as well.
I don’t want to uninvite someone over something as silly as Facebook, but at the same time I’m not fussed at having someone there who we never see, never talk to or about, and his own partner isn’t bothered if he’s there or not
Post # 2
- Wedding: January 2021 - City, State
I’d still invite him personally, they’re a couple (fellow UK bee so i get it :-))
Post # 3
I think just don’t worry about it, unless you’re having a tiny wedding you’ll hardly notice him on the day. Has she even indicated that he is coming? Maybe he won’t!
Post # 4
Cannot uninvite someone except for the most extreme reasons
Post # 5
When you say reception, do you mean evening reception or the day reception as well? If it’s evening I would just let it go but if you’re paying the all day cost it’s more of an issue… I think when it comes to sending the actual invitation it is fair to say directly to your friend “what’s the deal with this guy?”
If she says they’re still together, I think you should invite him. She may say actually things have cooled. I wouldn’t uninvite over FB – I’d be pissed off too but I don’t think it’s enough of a reason to not invite a friend’s partner who has had a save the date, which would be a pretty major etiquette breach.
Post # 6
roletta : evening reception, there’s 120 invited all together so I highly doubt we’d notice him there, the FB thing is annoying but not a deal breaker. Thing is they’ve just moved in together, she has to control his bank accounts because she doesn’t trust him, she said quite a few times she didn’t care if he was invited or not….. kinda got the impression she’d rather he wasn’t :/
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
Evening reception then just invite him. Sounds like he won’t come anyway and she may not even show him the invite.
Post # 8
I would just leave it. The FB thing doesn’t likely mean anything (loads of people I know have cut their friends lists recently as it just gets out of hand otherwise and you end with hundreds of people you barely know/don’t talk to), and so what if she doesn’t talk about him? Plus he’s only invited to the evening, and the per head costs for the evening are generally speaking minimal.
If you uninvite him it could cause major issues between you and your friend, and in this instance I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. The only time you should uninvite someone IMPO is if you want nothing more to do with that person and anyone invited with them.
Post # 9
busybee200717 : If her and your friend are still dating – I’d keep the peace and still invite him.
We’re (sorta) uninviting one couple from our wedding. One of my sisters (ex?) friends. She’s been a bitch to my sister, and her and her daughter have been very rude and hurtful to my niece (who is THREE!).. so I don’t want her at my wedding. We sent her a save the date, but she won’t be getting an invitation.
Post # 10
i’d still invite him since they’re a couple. if he’s really cutting people out, then he won’t show up anyway so no loss.