(Closed) What prerequisite was/is most important to you before having a baby?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: What thing was most important to you?
    Owning a home : (76 votes)
    23 %
    Having money saved : (101 votes)
    31 %
    Having debt paid off : (43 votes)
    13 %
    Traveling lots : (39 votes)
    12 %
    Being established in your career : (67 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    FH and I are on the fence about having kids, but we both agreed that we’d like to be married a few years, have money saved, and tavel a bit. Having money saved is the most important though. FH only recently started building credit, I had some savings of my own before we started dating, but I had my debit card stolen twice and lost almost all of the money. We probably won’t seriously start discussing babies though for another 6 years or so. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I said owning a home, because that’s the only one we really did.  We still have tons of student loan debt and not a ton of savings, but we have stable careers and will earn more in the future.  The time was right now though!

    Post # 34
    Member
    9544 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m surprised how many people would have to own a house before having a kid! I can understand wanting space and a yard but we rent a house currently and when we buy it’ll probably be a similar size. But it’s just so much cheaper to rent. And it’s less risky since we don’t have to pay house maintenance costs. And we don’t yet have the stability to ensure that we’ll be in the same city for at least 5 years. The biggest benefit I see in owning is the ability to update the space. If we owned our current house I would have put in a dishwasher a year ago!

    So why is it that owning a home is important? So that you can customize the space? Using it as an investment tool? Just because that’s the A’merican dream” kind of thing? Is renting confined to aparements in other areas (there are lots of houses that you can rent where we live)?

    Post # 35
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    The biggest prerequisite for us was for both of us to be ready and be married.  We don’t own a house, we don’t have a ton in savings and plan to utilize my parents kindness to help us out with baby sitting and stuff after the baby is born, We DO have no debt though and we both have travelled a lot and we have stable jobs – granted not a career type job necessarily.  My age is a BIG factor though since I was nearly 36 when we started ttc and currently am 38 and will be nearly 39 when our first baby is born.

    Post # 36
    Member
    2412 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    we own our own home, i’d like to be a bit more established in my career and have a bit of money behind us but i chose travel cos were about to go on our big round the world trip for 6 months and thats the reason we havent tried for a kid yet

    Post # 37
    Member
    5543 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @JenGirl:  I know around here, we pay in rent on a 900 sq ft apartment what a 1800-2000 sq ft house mortgage goes for. Houses to rent are either in the bad part of town or ungodly expensive. Even with maintenance costs it would be sooooo much cheaper to buy but we aren’t living here long enough to make it worth it.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1303 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Being married would top the rest of that list, but we had already addressed everything in your list too.  That being said, we were 34 and almost 36 when we got married.

    Post # 39
    Member
    6292 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @AB Bride:  +1

    Other than that (which really shouldnt be assumed), I voted for career.

    Post # 40
    Member
    10650 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @wrkbrk:  It’s been what’s stopping us both so far!

    Post # 41
    Member
    1776 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My #1 answer wasn’t on the list which is “having a stable, loving relationship and both partners being emotionally prepared for a baby.”  I feel like you can make any of the other things work somehow, but if the foundation isn’t there… then it is going to be much harder.

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    12246 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We wanted to be married first!

    And for Darling Husband to be comfortable with marriage, he needed to have a great career and have a bunch of savings.

    So I voted savings.

    Post # 43
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @JenGirl:  Where we are, the mortgage on our house is around £600 a month. Rental would be somewhere in the range of £1,200 to £1,500 a month. Plus we wouldn’t even have eny equity.

    Obviously having a stable relationship and being married were the top ones for me. Wanting a child was sort of assumed. I didn’t vote for having debt paid off, because if you have a mortgage then you will have debt… so owning a home and having debt paid off are usually mutually exclusive! Same with having savings. Because rates of interest are so low, you may as well just pour your savings into your house right now. You get a better rate of return and no depreciation.

    Travel… you can travel/backpack/whatever with a child, and I’ve known plenty who do. I would have mentioned careers, but I was the half generation worst affected by the economic downturn, and like a lot of people in my cohort, we learned to value other things because suitable work was so hard to come by.

    So the top one for me in that list was owning a home!

    Post # 44
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    being established in our careers 🙂

    Post # 45
    Member
    3823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    career.

    Post # 46
    Member
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    tie b/t owning a home and having $ saved.

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