(Closed) What prerequisite was/is most important to you before having a baby?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: What thing was most important to you?

    Owning a home

    Having money saved

    Having debt paid off

    Traveling lots

    Being established in your career

  • Post # 92
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

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    Post # 93
    1722 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    Being married.

    Being financially sound (we have debt, but it’s very manageable)

    Having all of the discussions relevant to kids: what to do if we find out we’re having a special needs child (of all sorts and varieties), how we handle discipline, if we feel ready to have kids, having exposure to others’ children, what to name a child, how to handle our families while raising a kid, etc.

    Having a place with at least two bedrooms. We actually started trying to conceive before we closed on our house (about 3 months before); we decided that if I was close to delivering before we ended up getting a house, we would move into a 2-bedroom place in the meantime.

    Post # 94
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    First and foremost for me would be actually wanting one. 

    Post # 95
    2424 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    For me it was:

    1) Get married (check)

    2) Buy a house (check)

    3) Get established in career (working on it! I have a good job but it’s non-ideal for kids at this point, so hoping to move into a different position in the next year or so and start trying)

    Post # 96
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    All of the above? I wouldn’t consider having children until I did all of those things. But I picked the “savings” option.

    Post # 97
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Besides getting married first, we want a considerable amount in savings. We’ve already decided I’ll be a stay at home mom when we have children, so me being established in a career is not a top priority and we, thankfully, don’t have any debt.

    Post # 98
    7344 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Being married is the obvious #1 for me. We owned our home long before we were even engaged. Having a good income is also important, and while babies are most definitely expensive, I know that it’s doable. As most of my mom friends all tell me constantly “Outside of the usual baby expenses, they’re as expensive as you make them. It’s easy to get caught up in all the things you THINK you need for baby, when in reality it’s not necessary.”


    Honestly, now that we’re in a place we are thinking about having kids – my prerequisite is really superficial. I want to lose 20 pounds. People say it’s silly, because you’re going to gain weight anyway, but I want to go into it as good as possible. 


    Post # 99
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I voted having a career, but not for the sake of having a career. Fiance is in law school and wants to be an IP/patent attorney, so the first 3-4 years out of law school will be crazy for him. He’ll be working like 90-100 hour weeks if he gets a job at a big firm, and that just isn’t the time to have a child. So we’re going to wait until his work has calmed down and/or he’s moved onto a different position that isn’t so crazy.

    For me, having a career isn’t as important, as I want to be a teacher and it can be pretty flexible. I think finances are the most important for me, but assuming Fiance gets a good job after graduating and we wait 3-4 years, we should be fine in terms of money.

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