(Closed) What proportion of the guests are “yours” vs. your “fiance’s”?

posted 11 years ago in Logistics
Post # 17
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We invited 250 and 135 were ‘mine’ and the rest were ‘his.’ My list had all of my family and any friends that were my friends first and the same with him. 

Post # 18
1129 posts
Bumble bee

We are about 30% mine and 70% his.  And his side has definitely caused the most drama.  Maybe it’s bound to happen since more of the guest list falls to him 😉

Post # 19
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

out of 125 invitees or so, i have about 75% of the guest list and he has the other 25%, my family is a lot bigger than his and i more coworkers that i’m inviting…

Post # 20
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We have a small guestlist of 46. This breakdown includes our “may be invited” and “invited but definitely won’t show up” categories. Here goes:

Both of us: 6 out of 46; 13.04% (Though we have people we both want in other categories, these people just did not fit on my side or on his… so it’s us.)
FH’s Family: 12 out of 46; 26.09% (Includes FH. Out of these 12, FH’s mother specifically requested 7 to be invited, for a total of 58.3% of his family, or 15.22% of the total guestlist– she paid us the extra amount it would cost us).
FH’s Friends: 9 out of 46; 19.56%
My Family: 16 out of 46; 34.78% (Includes me)
My Friends: 3 out of 46; 6.52% (LOL– my sister is my best friend and I mostly hang out with FH’s friends and my family.)

Fiance’s total of the guestlist: 21 out of 46; 45.65%
My total of the guestlist: 19 out of 46; 41.30%
Both of us: 6 out of 46; 13.04%

Post # 21
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We’re inviting 125 people, about 70% of them are his family and friends. He has a much bigger family than I do, and we’re getting married in his home town for that reason, so there’ll be fewer RSVP “no’s” from that side. At first it bothered me, but my important family memebrs will be there, and my best friends, too, so I don’t mind. His darling parents keep asking if I’m okay with it 🙂

Post # 22
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We were planning on a small (120 guests or so) wedding until we started actually counting his close family members.  Both parents are catholic and all told we are expecting over 90 to attend (yes attend…more will be invited but probably won’t come due to age or distance).  We are also having the wedding in his hometown for that reason so I highly doubt we would have less than 85 be there.  So we are now planning on about 150.  I guess that makes his family about 60%, my family about 20%, and then splitting the other 20% equally among our friends (most are couples who are friends with both of us anyhow).  Neither of our parents have asked for any non-relatives to be invited, which I am thankful for. I would definitely rather keep it under 150 if at all possible.

Post # 23
53 posts
Worker bee

-37% my family

-27% his family

-7Z% his friends

-28% my friends

We’ve invited all of our immediate family (aunts, uncles) and some cousins on my side (ones I’m close 2, there are way too many to invite them all, some I’ve never met) and all his cousins.

he decided he didn’t want to invite heaps of his friends, as he couldn’t pick which ones. we’re inviting all his friends to the wedding dance



Post # 24
3315 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

First wedding was approximately 80% his family, 20% mine.    There were very few people other than family that were invited.  Our parents didn’t get a separate number of invitations, because we were already inviting their families.

Second ceremony and luncheon were very small.  Eight of the twelve guests were my family (or ex-family–my ex-husband and his sister were there).  NotFroofy is not in contact with her family, so I basically left the decision of which friends to invite up to her.  None of our parents even attended.

At-home reception for second wedding was about 60 people.  No family was invited.  NotFroofy had been living with me for nearly nine years at the time, and was not inviting anyone she had known before that.  Thus, most of the guests were people who knew both NotFroofy and me.

Post # 25
1254 posts
Bumble bee

My friends and family are all from out of town and we are having our wedding in town so majority of our guests will be his. It is fine with me because he is the one who wants the wedding anyway. I am an encore bride if it was up to me we’d be in Vegas already. I am enjoying than planning though so it’s working out well.

Post # 26
10991 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Math is not my strong suit but both of my parents are deceased; FH’s mom is still alive & in her 80’s which is why we’re not just running off to Vegas.  I think this is important to his mom, particularly since she lost her other son when he was just 37.

My family is on the other side of the country & we’re not close.  We like each other but are not really in touch much.

So it’s really all about FH’s family.  It’s fine by me.  Less drama on my side.

Post # 27
875 posts
Busy bee

I think the 50/50 thing is a great idea, but I totally think that doing what makes sense for you and your family is also important.  My family happens to be the hub of family unity for all branches of my family…  My mom’s dad’s side, my mom’s mom’s side, my dad’s dad’s side, and my dad’s mom’s side…  that’s right four different parts of my family alone.  (Does My Big Fat Greek Wedding sound familiar… the funny part is that I’m not Greek or Italian and in fact   I’m an only child!)   So cousin’s are literally the closest thing I have to siblings… which means I have 12 first cousins on one side…. and two first cousin’s on the other… but in the smaller side of my family, my second and third cousins are truly closer than some of my first cousins on the other side…  and I’m really close to some second and third cousins on the side with the 12 first cousins as well… so it’s not like I could ever actually say… first cousins that’s it…   Yup… it’s going to be a neverending guest list… I’m thinking the ABC lists… might be interesting.   Every family is different.  If you never ever see your cousins, then they won’t make the list.  If they are important to you and you are excited to have them celebrate your special day… then they are going to have to make the list!  (Now if we could all just solve the budget problem…)

Post # 28
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My situation is different.. His family wont be attending so it’s 80% my family, 10% his friends, 10% my friends. Sometimes I wonder if we should even have a wedding cause his family refuses to go!

Post # 29
1046 posts
Bumble bee

The guest list is 90% my friends and family and 10% his.

He just didn’t want to invite most of his family. It was a little weird for me to not invite the majority of his family, but it was his choice. He doesn’t feel close to them and therefore does not want them there.


Post # 30
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

After a grueling time setting up the guest list between, FH, me and my parents, we’ve finally gotten to the point where we have about anaequal amount of guests on our “sides”. Now, I found it funny how FH designated “mutual fiends” on our spreadsheet guest list since I would consider some of the “mutual friends” more of my friends and vice-versa! But, no worries!

Post # 31
947 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Fiance has a small family (9).  I have a large catholic Portuguese family (90).  However, we balance out with our friend’s invites, he is inviting more friends and coworkers than I am.  

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