Post # 1
Saw this article today – Why your man has not proposed. – //http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowglamour.aspx?cp-documentid=26657022>1=32092 and thought my SO probably has a lot of those reasons just by little comments he has made here and there when I bring up marriage. #1 for me is – He’s Afraid He’ll Have to Give Up His Dreams. He still tells me he does not know what he wants to do with his life. I think he just doesn’t like his job right now and has regrets of not doing the whole college party thing because he went to a private school. Dude you are 30 years old!! Get over it!! LOL!
So bees does your SO give you hints to why he has not proposed yet? Any of those reasons on the list?
Post # 3
I am waiting because we are moving in together in less than 2 weeks and he wants to save up enough money after we do that to buy the ring. I told him I dont need an expensive ring but he doesnt care, he said he wants people to grab my hand and be like” wow what a beautiful ring” not some $1000 ring. Something I will be proud to wear. His words not mine… He saves money fast as well…
Post # 4
You know, I honestly don’t know with mine! It used to be money, but now he has the money. Now it is the “surprise” he’s waiting for. He wants to surprise me. He told me awhile back that he’s going to ask but that he wants to catch me off guard. So, it’s been 5 months since THAT conversation. Of course, a waiting bee usually can’t keep her trap shut, so I’ve brought it up just a few times since then. The last time I was so upset and crying, he said, I’m going to ask you, but I’m certainly not going to do it now when you’re upset with me about it. So, I don’t know which of those.
Post # 5
@Elleymae: Same situation… if i bring it up he wont do it sooner he says… he wants to catch me offgaurd… but if yours hasnt shown any progress try and have a simple calm conversation with him about timelines…
Post # 6
He’s afraid of commitment. I’ve called him on it and now I’m waiting for the right time to find out if he’s changed his mind at all.
Post # 7
He said that he doesn’t feel ready but he doesn’t know why he isn’t ready… He is old enough to be past any of that partying/wild oat sowing business! Its so frustrating.
Post # 8
Well, my guy is very young, so he’s honestly just not ready. He doesn’t have anything like wild oats to sew or anything. It’s hard to elaborate on, but he’s just not quite there yet. He has told me he’s excited about proposing and he plans on doing it sometime in the next year or so. It’s just not…quite….the right time.
Also, he’s parents have a craptacular marriage with his mother completely having his dad whipped. His dad is a sweet man who honestly just wants a wonderful and loving family to be surrounded by and grandchildren etc etc. However, my guy’s mother is frigid and won’t even sit on the same couch as J’s dad. The marriage is still together at this point because J’s dad is afraid of the expense and the $$$ it would cost him.
Interestingly, this doesn’t seem to affect J’s views on marriage, at least not noticeably.
Post # 9
Money seems better than my SOs problem.
@LittlePenguin: Yeah, it took me awhile to get it out of my SO why he was not ready. Frustrating in not the word!!
@Tunacupcakes: When my SO was younger I would say that is how he was. Just needed to grow up but now he can’t get over being grown up. Men!!
@claireos: That is what my mom calls my SO – a commitment phobe
Post # 10
we’re just waiting until we secure jobs and he moves out here. thankfully that’s not one of the reasons on the list.
Post # 11
I honestly think he’s just waiting to time the proposal properly/plan a way to ask. He’s banned me from our online banking for a while now (he wants to buy with our shared credit card so we can get the travel points, which is perfect… hello honeymoon!) but I really think he’s been doing some sneeky things to get it all ready. I hope I’m right!
EDIT: To add that we bought and moved in to a new home last spring and have been well adjusted for a while, so for the most part it’s not finances and we’ve shopped together for the ring so I know it’s not a case of him not being ready to commit.
Post # 12
My FH and I are just waiting for a bit more time to pass. His divorce was only final back at the beginning of December. We both agree we want to be engaged around summer time. Though… I would be super happy to have his ring on my finger today…:).
Post # 13
He has hinted that he’s working on the ring and making plans for a proposal. We have discussed getting married this year and he know’s I want 6 months to plan the wedding. So I am hopeful we will be engaged sometime in March so that we have time to plan for a September wedding. He knows that I would like to get married in September and we have discussed that neither of us want a winter wedding since we don’t like the cold weather. I am keeping my fingers crossed!
Post # 14
Money is mainly the issue I think for me.
Post # 15
Mine is because his parents aren’t happy, though they’ve been together almost 30 years, and his career currently sucks (looking for new job). We’ve talked about both of them and I think we have the first conquered so it’s really now just waiting until he finds a better job and therefore feels more secure in his career. Fingers crossed then that this most recent interview works out!!!!!
Post # 16
Money was the main issue for the wait, but that has since resolved itself. Now I’m just waiting for him to plan the proposal. Unfortunately, he’s not a big planner – hopefully he’s still on top of it and will be doing it soon.