(Closed) What response would you like to hear?

posted 5 years ago in No Kids
Post # 16
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

“Do you have kids?”
“No I don’t want kids”
“Fair enough, you have to do what makes you happy.”

Post # 17
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
jennmariee : “Talking about your kids is like telling someone about that dream you had last night, totally interesting to you, soul-crushingly boring to them.  Yes, even if it had dinosaurs with flame throwers and naked Chris Evans.  Still so boring.”

OMG I love you. I love you so, so, much.

You made me laugh out loud. Even as a childless (so far) person, I can enjoy a bit of momversation – my sister, SIL, and most of my friends now have kids, and its unavoidable, and I really do enjoy hearing about their lives and families.

 But I have lived through so, so, so many horrifyingly, soul-crushingly boring conversations about kids’ poop!! I don’t care that it’s stinkier now that they’ve moved to solid food! I don’t care that DD had diarrhea all weekend! How many times can I smile and nod during this conversation, while feeling like my ears are bleeding?!

 I wish your wisdom could somehow be shared with all moms everywhere… including me, if I ever reach that stage and suddenly join the mass obsession with least-interesting-conversation-ever! 🙂

Edited to fix weird formatting.

Post # 19
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I haven’t got kids and I’m TTC. I’m in my 40s. No well-intentioned question you could ask me could ever upset me.

I’ve always talked a lot about my nieces/nephews when stuff comes up about kids. Just because I haven’t got any of my own, doesn’t mean I don’t have any interesting stories or anything to share about children. Children are just another part of life and our wider families. It’s quite weird to think of them as something you opt into or out of.

I know a single lady , no kids, in her mid 50s (so won’t ever have any now) and she often chats about her nephews and I’d never feel I couldn’t chat children around her. I’ve had whole conversations about kids with her just the 2 of us, yet neither of us is a mum!

If you’re talking about what your son does or likes, ask if they know any kids who do that or like whatever the thing is. If your’e talking about getting your son into a certain school, ask if they know anyone who’s had problems. If they’ve got kids they will soon tell you, if not they probably have something to add based on their friends’ or siblings’ kids. In the rare situation where they have zero experience they might say ‘I honestly haven’t got a clue’ and laugh.

For me it’s no different to chatting pets with a non-pet owner. We all have a dog or cat story even if we never owned any ourselves!

In response to a couple of posts above. We are all different but personally I would add that if someone asked me if I had kids and I said no, and they then asked me what I liked doing instead or what made me happy, that would be incredibly uncomfortable, like they were treating me with kid gloves/a special case, not just a normal person with a wider family/friendship group. It would be like ‘hmmmm here’s the elephant in the room, quick change the subject before she gets offended’ and I’d *hate* to be thought of as so touchy. But maybe that’s just me! I honestly wouldn’t worry about it too much, just go with the flow..!

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