(Closed) What rude things did friends/family say during wedding planning?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

“Oh, you’re eloping? Well that’s no fun!”

“Why wouldn’t you have a wedding? You have the money to do whatever you want”

I get bugged all the time for planning to elope. ALL THE TIME.

When I get those comments, I feel like saying I am eloping so I don’t have to spend my time and money on assholes like you LOL 

It’s my life and it’s my day and I’ll do what I want 🙂

Post # 3
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Mother-In-Law yelled at me for choosing a bridesmaid dress color without her input. 

Father-In-Law complained (at another family member’s wedding) that $60pp was way too much for a wedding… Good thking he doesn’t know how much ours was per person then!! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Mother-In-Law, upon hearing my fiancé describe a general overview of our plans: “No…. No, that just is not going to work… No, that’s not big enough. If you’re going to do that you may as well just go to the courthouse!”

Post # 5
Member
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

One of my FSILs had a tantrum over the date we booked our engagement party. It was her boyfriend’s birthday, but it was the only Saturday before Christmas available and January is far too busy for our families so we had to take what we could get. Besides, it wasn’t like a milestone birthday or anything – he turned 27. We did ask my Future Mother-In-Law if the date was okay, too, and she somehow overlooked the birthday in her diary.

We got engaged late September this year and have our wedding booked for very early December next year – a few people have mentioned that this isn’t a very long engagement and that we aren’t leaving ourselves much time to plan. Like that’s any of their business!

Post # 6
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

“Is it for real this time?” (We have been engaged and was going to get married 3-4 years ago but it didn’t pan out then)

“Get out while you still can!” (To my Fiance while I was there, the guy genuinely meant it!)

“She will have to obey you after the wedding.”  (my future sister-in-law who is well meaning…. LOL)

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by happy_face.
Post # 7
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016
  • 2 weeks after were engaged & ‘threw’ out a date his parents called saying that no one would come from their town (3 hrs away) bc it was a Friday.  They said they’d throw a 2nd reception and I could wear my dress again.Fiance went out to driveway and in “firm” voice pointed out his sister was also married on a Friday (Memorial Day wknd, like ours). THey shut up
  • Upon telling his parents we were going to my grandparents for Thanksgving, bc Fiance wanted to meet them (they’re not in good health [ages 91 and 88] and live 8 hours from us, no family near them) they were silent. I said,|”They may not make it to the wedding”. His Mother-In-Law, without missing a beat replies “Well can’t someone drive them”. I meant they may not make it because they may not be alive, specifically my grandma….
  • His parents asked “Since you don’t have a mom, who is going to do the stuff she’d do on the wedding day”. I was dumbfounded and said “Like what…? I will..” My mom passed 12 yrs ago, I don’t think they meant it that way but yea came out wrong

It’s mainly been by future in laws driving me up the walll. They just care and his mom likes to be in control. I love them but can’t wait for the wedding..LOL. I’m super indepedent and have my own timeline. LOL

Post # 8
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Not super rude, but still a bit upsetting:

My mom, after hearing how inexpensive a sit-down dinner reception at my favorite venue would be, asked me if it was cheap because the venue is run down. I told her no, just because it was built in the 1800s does not mean it’s in bad shape– like most historical places in New England, it’s quite lovely and well-preserved. The nice discount is just because it’s so far out of the city, and we’re considering a Friday wedding on top of that! At first I was a bit hurt that she’d honestly think I was clueless enough to pick anything other than a pretty place for the reception, but then again, she says things like this…

…for example, when I said I wanted to try on some ankle-length dresses, she said “No, you can’t have that. Besides, they don’t make wedding dresses without trains.” Oh, mumsy…how weddings have changed since you got married!

Post # 9
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Well, I phoned my grandmother to tell her we’d gotten engaged, and her response was “Oh, that’s good news, I guess…”

 

I’m really hoping that she just didn’t hear me, because that’s a super weird thing to say to your oldest grandchild. I was expecting a bit more enthusiasm.

Post # 10
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

 

View original reply
yycbridetobe:  The same thing happened when my fiance called his mom to tell her the good news! She said something along the lines of “Oh, how nice,” and moved on with the conversation. (To be clear, she has no issue with us getting engaged– she’s been asking us for ages when it was going to happen, in fact!) It was a weird reaction, and it definitely rattled my fiance, but we managed to focus on all of the people who really did show some genuine happiness at the announcement. I hope you have some of those people around to support you, too!

Post # 11
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My estranged biological father’s sister sent me a Facebook message congratulating me on the engagement, and then in the same paragraph ripped me a new one for not being in my dad’s family’s lives more. She said she couldn’t believe I was marrying a man they had never even met and that I should be ashamed for never coming around. Sorry ma’am, but your deadbeat brother was the one who decided to pop in and out of my life as he pleased until he made his grand exit when I was a teenager. I was upset for about 3 seconds and then I realized I had a wedding to plan and said eff the haters.

Post # 12
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Well my family doesn’t know yet. we’re on a countdown for sharing though once the custom ring is finished.

However, a few months ago, I was out at lunch with my mother. She randomly started talking, as if like an after thought, about what it would be like with his family if we got married. Which basically went like… “So, I guess if you both choose to get married one day…his family would have to come here for the wedding. Oh, no, nevermind. I’m sure they can hold their own ceremony over there.”

To which, I replied…”We would have two. One here and one there. I know a christian ceremony is important to you and a vietnamese/buddhist ceremony will be important to them.”

To which she instantly retorted with, “OOOOHHHH YEAH NO…we aren’t having that!”. Then she pretty much imploded thinking about the different religions and traditions.

Little does she know…we’re having that. I’ll update how the comments go when we actually announce in January lol.

Post # 13
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

While visiting my grandmother for Christmas she mentioned after we had eaten lunch together, “if you want to lose weight for the wedding you really shouldn’t have eaten that bread at lunch”

From the women who ordered a burger “hold the cheese, only half a patty, no condiments, no pickle, no bun, no fries” I wasn’t suprised. But that women is literally getting a bread basket and nothing else for her plate at my wedding.

Post # 14
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I am in my early 40’s and getting married for the first time.  I have heard:

“Aren’t you too old for a wedding?”

“You can’t wear a mermiad or ballgown, you aren’t 20 anymore”

“Bridal showers are for younger brides”

 

 

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
almostaudrey:  Thankfully everyone else has been much more enthusiastic! I think she just misheard or just didn’t understand somehow. People get weird around big news sometimes, who knows what was going through their heads!

View original reply
TeamByerly2016:  Ouch! The good thing is, opinions are just that – opinions. Yours is the only one that matters when it comes to YOUR wedding. Any one, of any age, deserves exactly the wedding, with exactly the dress/outfit and pre-wedding parties that he/she/they want. You do you, boo.

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