(Closed) What rude things did friends/family say during wedding planning?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 91
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I started typing out all of the rude things my future Mother-In-Law has said to me in regards to our wedding but then I realized that everything she says about our wedding is rude…

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by reee.
Post # 92
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

FIL/MIL were snooty about the location I chose, made a huge deal about hosting a rehearsal dinner (What do you mean your family is supposed to be there!?!). My biggest WTF was them insisting on having his two grandmothers escorted by a nephew instead of walking down the aisle with their husbands. They had agreed that maybe it made sense for them to walk as a couple instead of the grandfathers trailing behind (I mean come on- this is the first time they get to walk down the aisle at a wedding as a couple and the pictures look hella awkward if theyre escorted with the husbands walking behind?). I get my pro pics back and apparently as they were about to walk, Father-In-Law grabbed the nephews anyway, told my mom off, and had them escorted! The pictures turned out really awkward looking, and they went behind my back against my wishes- SHEESH! Then wasted our sunset getting pics of hubby with his half of the family- I’m not even in those pictures… 

(as PP said, now that I’m thinking about it they did way too many rude things to type out!)

Thankfully all I remember from the day of is having a blast! 

Post # 93
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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honeybee1234:  I’ve been getting the braggers to get me to talk…. for instance, a cousin phoned my mother up and said “oh, I spent $80K on my daughter’s wedding… that’s the going rate these days, you’re along the same lines, I’m sure…” … JUST to get info out of us.  FYI – much lower and simpler because it’s not a spectacle, it’s a celebration between two people, last I checked 🙂 LOL

Post # 94
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I got laughed at multiple times in regards to the wedding, the most memorable was when i suggested that we *might* have a 3 tired plain white cake from sams club… then when my Fiance told Future Mother-In-Law she hurt my feelings and she should apologize, she called and left me a sobbing voicemail message saying they were only joking and please dont break up with her son…#awkward. 

Future Mother-In-Law was mad that she didnt go to the drss fitting….i literally only took my mom. ugh

On SEVERAL occasions she had may rude comments about having an uneven bridal party (i have 4 girls and Fiance has 5 guys) even going as far as making jokes about me not having friends and which guy will walk down the aisle “all alone and sad looking)

Future Father-In-Law says ” you only need two beers at your wedding, the regular and light version” (even though hes not payinf for it)

Future Mother-In-Law ” im just trying to make this a NICE event…”, this was her repsonse to us having a buffet dinner… -_-

“are you sure that photographer is good? i wasnt really a fan of your engagement pics”

“wow, i would never want a ring that gaudy”

oh, i could go on…. ugh

we gotta stick together bees!!!

 

 

Post # 95
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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honeybee1234:  My FI’s brother asked my Fiance the whole time we were engaged if he was “surrrre?” about marrying me because he had seen some red flags (and then he went and cheated on his girlfriend the night before our wedding.)

My Father-In-Law called my family “mungiacakes” through our whole planning

My BFF (no longer BFF) was completely rude and distant our whole planning. She was unresponsive and cold. When I texted her to tell to say “I found my dress!!” she didn’t respond for days and when I finally asked her if she got that text she responded “I’m away right now enjoying a much needed family vacation and I am responding to my messages in priority sequence.” (see how I have that burned into my brain?…)

Our friends bashed us behind our backs our whole engagement and wedding for being too excited. 

On our wedding day a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen told everyone they couldn’t believe they had to put up with this wedding today because they were so hung over.

A GM missed our rehearsal dinner last minute to be part of a flash mob with his pilates instructor (you can’t make this shit up)

After the wedding: I still 3 years later hear about how hot it was that day (outdoor wedding) – “hottest day of the year! brahahaha” …yeah whatever…we gave you fans and water and shade, relax it’s over now

 Edit for the other ones I just remembered

A friend asked us if she could bring her dog to our wedding. We said no and she was very sour and said then she might not be able to come

We were thinking of going no kids – until a Groomsmen told us and everyone that he wouldn’t be able to come if his kids weren’t invited

Lots of opinions from friends asking ‘are you inviting so and so?’ Well why not they should be invited?’ You’re not inviting so and so’s Dad?’ and so on. Major drama. Thank god that’s over!

People huh? Sheesh.

 

 

 

 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Sunshine09.
Post # 96
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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jkm13:  Oh damn that made me remember ANOTHER one of mine when our friends (questionable word) told everyone that we “ruined everybody’s Summer by getting married”

Post # 97
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

When I get engaged about threeish years ago, I was 18 and my fiance was 19. I heard sooo much about being to young to be engaged from people. I could understand close friends or relatives being converned, but it was from strangers. Coworkers questioned my decision, incuding one telling me to go hook up with random men to be sure. I worked at a supermarket and one customer saw my ring and preced to lecture me about being to young, said I was selfish and told me that I was breaking my parents hearts (funny considering my fiance had actually went to my dad for “permission” and both my parents and his were/are really excited). She also told me I was too young to understand what love was…

That Thanksgiving (2013), my uncle told me that I was ruining my life, told my fiance that he was going to wreck my life and said to my father “How can you allow her to do this. You need to tell her she can’t get married until she is much older.” Wen told that fiance and I were actually waiting until 2016 to marry, he then complained that we were waiting to long and must not be comitted. Nope, I just wanted to get my degree first.

Original wedding day was at the end of spring in 2016, about three weeks after I will graduate college. After some thought, we decided to push it back to the fall of 2016 to allow more time to find a job and to give me some time between two big life events. The only people who knew about this were our parents. Ever since we chaned the date, ONE TIME, fiance’s mom says “Have you changed your date again? I can’ keep up with all the changes.” every, single time our weddingis mentioned. 

When we told fiance’s mom our wedding colors, she made a face that looked like she had sucked on a lemon and asked why in the world we would go with those colors: red and gold. She made the same face when we told her about our venue and told us it sounded too expensive. We are actually getting an excellent deal for a very nice venue. She has also complained about where we are getting married because it is “too far away.” She lives 30 minutes from the venue, fiance and I are an hour from it. Plus, 50ish of our 70 guests live in that area. Fiance thinks that she is upset that we are not getting married in her church and that is why she dislikes the venue.

I have also had multiple relatives compain that we are not inviting children, one saying it was selfish. 

Post # 98
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee

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SapphireAngel94:  my mum was 18 or 19 when my parents got married (my dad a couple of years older) and they’re about to celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary. The nay-sayers can zip it!

Post # 99
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

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garnobella:  My grandparent married at that age as well and lived happily. My dad actually chewed him out for those comments, including telling my uncle that my fiance and I have a better, more respectful and loving relationship than most people he knows which I found really sweet.

Post # 100
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

FI’s grandmother telling me ‘Its shame your family can’t help.’ 😑 Talking about finances of the wedding. My family ended up giving us some money, but it was never expected as I know they have bigger things to worry about. 

Post # 101
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

My favorites so far:

“Oh Long Island on 4th-of-July-weekend! Guess I’ll start driving on wednesday and hope I make it there by Saturday” … I’m from Long Island and my parents still live there.  There is beach traffic literally every weekend of the summer.  We have to do summer since Fiance is a teacher.  The ceremony won’t start until 6/6:30 – you’ll be fine driving from Jersey/Upstate/Massachusetts/wherever.  What do you want from my life. Don’t come then.

“That pizza doesn’t look like its part of a wedding diet” – the wedding is not for another 19 months.  I may start watching what I eat next year.  For now, I need my blubber to keep me warm for the winter.

“It’s nice that you guys picked a place! I just hope that anyone is able to make the trip” – not my fault our families span 5 states.  Not like Montana states. Like New England states.  You have 19 months head start to figure out how to make the trip if you want to.  If you don’t want to, that’s fine too.

“Ugh this is going to be so boring” – my mom, since I didn’t want neon wedding colors.

ETA that I haven’t really taken any of these seriously.  Literally everyone who is invited knows about it already.  I guess I’ll care more about these comments when the countdown reaches single-digit months.

Post # 102
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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honeybee1234:  i think my mom has to take the cake (so far – still have 10 months to go), we are having a destination wedding (READ: not a whole catholic mass wedding in a church) and she told me that my father was “embarassed” at having to explain to people that his daughter isn’t getting married in a church, my marriage won’t be blessed and will therefore be full of satan, my marriage won’t be a good one. my mom is catholic but she’s usually not so SO catholic and my dad hasn’t been to church in like 10 years. plus, it’s 2015 no one questions weddings that happen outside of churches anymore. i was so, like, shocked and hurt by it. 

then throw in the fact that her and my father weren’t officially married in a church until i was like 17 because he couldn’t get his previous marriage annulled, they did the shotgun courthouse thing. and even after they got married in a church, it didn’t change anything about their marriage which hasn’t  always been the greatest. like, hypocritical much?!!! ugh. i am getting mad just thinking about it again.  

Post # 103
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

This thread will probably be my saving grace through this whole ordeal.

So tonight, I go out with my mother and sister (bad idea). Sister informs me she’s not going to come to out of state ceremony (fine, whatever…). However, then they both proceed to ask questions about the ceremony.

I tell them it’s fruitless at the moment because we’ll need to find out his family’s participation first to know if the ceremony will be able to be done. However, to answer their questions, I outline the typical idea of the events that would take place and which I’d be wearing certain dresses to (there’s three dresses). The whole time my sister makes faces and then in the crappiest tone possible says “well that’s the cards you chose”. Like wth…yes, those are the cards I chose and I’m happy with my cards.

My mother later says that “she must just not understand because to her weddings are probably something she sees as planning what you want”. Ummm…the traditional ceremony is what I want. I’m sorry that you both don’t understand. Likewise, the entire time my sister made her glances and comment…my mother made the same facial expressions. Somebody please kill me now.

Post # 104
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’ve had Mother-In-Law (super christian, btw) say a few great zingers.

Behind my back once I overheard her asking why my fiance couldn’t find a nice christian girl. She’s also repeatedly suggested we wed in a church and have a christian ceremony even though Fiance and I are both agnostic, and my family is completely unreligious. She’s also suggested many times that I get married in a red dress. Not sure if she’s oblivious to the connotations of a “red dress” or not, but she won’t stop bringing it up. Basically she has many thoughts on all the things, which we are just going to sidestep around most of the time.

also I’ve had a girl who I was very close with a few years ago, but we lost touch when we went to uni pretty much outright ask if she was a bridesmaid.

Post # 105
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

So far I haven’t encountered much.

My Future Mother-In-Law was not a big fan of my theme/color scheme at first. But once I showed her my inspriation, she got my vision and liked it.

A very distant family member said something that made my blood boil. I should preface that this guy is 19, my aunt’s nephew (i.e. not related to me at all) and I hadn’t met him before. My cousin, who is going to be a bridesmaid, was asking about my engagement and wedding. I was happily dicussing my plans with her and the other female cousins that were there. The Guy jumps in and says “Why are you wating so long to get married?” At first I tried to answer his genienely by explaining our desire to get married in May and our need to save for much longer than a year. He just continued ragging on our plan and insisted that he just didn’t get it. I was 100% done with his for the rest of the night.

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