(Closed) What rude things did friends/family say during wedding planning?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 121
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Over the weekend, a good friend asked what the budget was. I was shocked–other than my parents (who are co-hosting), we haven’t shared that amount with anyone! I ended up playing it off with, “oh it changes every day!” Or something deliberately vague. I don’t think she got the Hint. 

Post # 122
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to propose?!” (to my SO, immediately followed by “Can I be a bridesmaid?!” – SIL

“I hope I’ll be invited to watch you trying on dresses” – Mother-In-Law

“Make sure she tells me when it is in plenty of time so I can get the time booked off work” – an alcholic relative, with whom I have no relationship whatsoever, as said to my mum.

“So….you’re definately not getting married in a church?” – grandma.

“You can’t wear Converse…it’s your wedding day!!! It’s not about being comfortable it’s about looking nice” – SIL. NB – I have bad knees, hips & back – need to be comfy.

“It’s not just going to be weird vegan food is it? EW” – SIL

“If you’re having it on my birthday weekend then I suppose you’ll be asking me to be a bridesmaid?!” – an old friend, who I’m not really that close to any more.

Jeez. I can’t imagine what it will be like when we are actually planning and booking things.

NB – since these conversations happened, SO has had a word with SIL & she has tried to make amends, showing excitement about going to wedding fairs etc.

Post # 123
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Ever After Banquet Hall

Not exactly rude. I’ve worked in the wedding industry since I was 18 (I’ll be 3 weeks shy of 41 at the wedding), so I like to think I know a thing or two about wedding planning LOL

But the pressure! “I can’t wait to see what you come up with!” “I bet your gown will be amazing.” Etc…. They know what I do for a living, so I don’t know if they are expecting some extreme gala like in the magazines or something?? Nope, it most definitely will not be magazine worthy 😉

The only “rude” comment would be from fFIL. Fiance has been married 4 times. Yup, 4. None of those marriages lasted more than a year, and 3 of them were only because they ended up having a child so he was trying to do the right thing. Anyway, when Fiance told his dad we got engaged, his reply? “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” 

Post # 124
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

Husbands sister: “I wish you were marrying someone else.”

My response: “Well I bet YOUR husband wished HE married someone else!”

Post # 125
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Ever After Banquet Hall

So, a lovely conversation I had with my 20 year old son has now given me a new one to add.

He told me he has been mad at Fiance for our whole engagement (he proposed Nov 2014) because he (DS) didn’t know he was going to propose.

I asked him if he thought he was supposed to ask for my hand like he was my dad or something LOL

He told me it was too soon after his dad’s death for me to remarry. I had to explain to him that grief works differently for everyone. I thought my dad remarried too soon after my mom died, too, but now, having gone through it myself, I can appreciate that it was not my decision to make. 

One day he says he’ll come to the wedding (he knows I want both of my sons to walk me down the aisle), and the next he says he won’t go. :/

Post # 126
Member
3900 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Mom: “How are you gonna dance the 1st dance at your wedding? You need dancing lessons, you should sign up asap…..” (when we passed the dancing lessons booth at a bridal show, the wedding is like 18months away…)

Me: “We are going to dance a slow dance like a normal slow dance, I dont need to do the Walz or the Tango mom” *Insert eyeroll*

Post # 127
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee

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tazztunes:  evidently not, as they are still trying to “work things out.” They are “restarting” their relationship adn going on first dates again and blah, blah, blah. I really hope that he sees how awful she is, but if he doesn’t, I feel we will not really see him as much because she wont really let him. 

Post # 128
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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futuremrscrow:  YYYYYEEESSSSS! EXACTLY!

Post # 129
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

“Well, I couldn’t be with a murderer, but I’m glad you’re happy.” Said by my aunt who I am VERY close to when I told her I was engaged.

Fiance grew up in a rural area and hunts and fishes. He is the most humane hunter I’ve ever encountered and we eat everything he kills, so there is minimal suffering and no waste. My aunt is an animal lover (as am I) and HATES that Fiance is a hunter. When I explained that responsible hunting is a more humane way to eat meat than eating factory farm meat (which she eats) she refused to listen and just says it is murder. It makes me sad.

Post # 130
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Mom said that I only made her feel included when she was paying for the wedding because that’s all she could offer me; then something happened so Fiance and I are paying for it. She said I don’t share plans with her, or let her do anything (and I totally do) She wants everything to be a certain way, and said that if she were paying for the wedding I would not have gotten the dress I did, and that probably hurt the worst because I love my dress the most. i tried my dress on after finding it online, stalking a girl here on wedding bee who had it practically lol, and then found a store that carried it. Knew it was THE dress, but my mom made me try on 36 other dresses after. We went to 4 salons. 

Future Sister-In-Law said my cake topper was weird but I did not really take that offensively. Lol my wedding seems a little alternative for some of the family. 

I called my mom to tell her I found the perfect venue in FIs home town, and she flipped out mad at me saying I was excluding family (which I did not know had travel restrictions (2 hrs) because no one said anything) – and told me I was making them compromise a lot. (Despite FIs whole family having to drive down…) ended up crying and she was livid for days. I had to cave and pick the venue she originally wanted because it was the only on affordable. And it’s still expensive.

I was also told I could have any bridal shower I wanted. I asked for a tailgating party, and was told absolutely not. My mom and SIL suggested  tea party, which I specifically stated I did NOT ever want. My Maid/Matron of Honor talked them out of it thankfully but it’s not a tailgating shower lol. I have a good Maid/Matron of Honor.

 

 

 

Post # 131
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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honeybee1234:  wow so fast. Or the best is his ex-wife “is she pregnant?” And no I’m not. 

Post # 132
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Several made comments regarding bar, who should be my flower girls and how they’ve never heard of an adults only wedding. Thanks got it under control.

Post # 133
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We are not having a religious wedding. A while ago my mom told me there is no point of getting married if it is not a church wedding….I don’t remember the last time she went to church…

Post # 134
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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honeybee1234:  The groom’s brother’s girlfriend used a racial slur to describe a certain ethnic group… that I happen to be a part of.

 

Then the groom’s brother told the groom he hates me and doesn’t support us getting married.

Post # 135
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I have a good one that’s kinda wedding related.  I have a 14 year old daughter who says she doesn’t care if I get married, but she’s NOT moving out of grandma and grandpa’s house.  We have lived here since she was 7 months old.  We aren’t getting married until summer 2017 to give her some time to adjust, and to save money for a new house we are hoping to build.  I was in the grocery store with my mom and we ran into a lady from church who was gushing over my engagement and telling me how happy she is for us.  She asked about how Dear Daughter was taking things, and I explained our plans.  My mom pops out with, Dear Daughter is just going to stay with us after they get married.  There is no sense in upsetting her. I have NO idea where my mom got this idea, or why she thinks it’s ok.  Dear Daughter will be moving with me, even if she’s not happy about it.

 

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