(Closed) What rules are YOU breaking?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Pinkmoon:  All of the above!!  Except for the bar deal…We are having a…GASP…one hour open bar then cash bar after that!  Some of these are just more unneccesary costs and when your on a budget, doesn’t seem reasonable! 

Post # 4
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I second your #s 1-3 and 7. #4, I’m sending RSVP cards to about 25 people out of the 150 invited. They are stuffy ๐Ÿ™‚

We are not inviting all out of town guests to our rehearsal dinner. We are having a small R dinner with the bridal party and immediate family and officiant, then we will meet the rest of our guests at the “welcome party” after at the lodge we’ve rented. I don’t think that my FGMIL is happy about this.

Hmm…I need to think of more. We are breaking tradition right and left, but I am not sure about etiquette.


Post # 5
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are trying very hard not to break any!  Etiquette is a big deal in my family, and there would be a few raised eyebrows if we broke some of the ones you listed! 

But, to-may-to, to-mah-to.  If it makes you happy – go for it! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We had a beer/wine/champagne bar package. It cost $25/pp so we racked up almost $4K in booze costs without liquor. We just couldn’t afford any more. No one complained, they all still got to drink for free!

Also addressed all the invites to John and Jane Smith – just about gave my mother a heart attack. She was convinced everyone would be offended and not come. The whole Mr. and Mrs. John Smith thing kinda creeps me out – I’m my own freaking person, not an extension of my husband! I understand that it’s tradition, so I don’t get upset at all when I get mail addressed like that…I just didn’t want to do it that way!

Post # 7
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ithink we’re breaking most of those too and we’re breaking the oh so contraversial no kids at our wedding

Post # 8
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I am “guilty” of 1,2,6 (except we provided wine) & 8.

Post # 9
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m sure I’m breaking a whole LOT of rules. Apparently, there is some rule that the Bride & Groom must give a speech at the wedding but we’re not doing it. EVERYONE knows I have an anxiety disorder (including social anxiety) and I would make myself sick talking in front of everyone. We’ve decided to thank everyone personally as they arrive at the Reception.

Again, I’m sure there’s tons of rules I’m breaking. But I’m simple and laid back so there’s lots of things I don’t care about. (That sounded so harsh lol)

Post # 10
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m also not having the invitations hand written. The envelopes will also have clear address labels instead of being written out. I don’t mind writing them out for our 150 guests, but the paper has a texture that does not bode well with writing. I tried writing a few of the return envelopes and they look terrible because the ink did not take to the texture properly. 

Other than that I don’t think we’re really breaking any, but for how many “rules” there are out there one can never know.

Post # 13
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

According to our families, we are breaking all of them!
And this girl dont care! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Love this post!  Biggest one would probably be anything to do with the invites.  We’re sending like 250-300, so I’m having addresses pre-printed on the envelopes/return postcards through one of my vendors at work at a huge discount.  Plus he’s going to mail everything in bulk, which will save $.20+ per invite.  It will be an inkjet stamp which I’m not too fond of, but to save $50+ on postage, I’ll take it! And, I’d rather spend time on fun DIY projects than addressing envelopes that people will throw away or send right back to us. ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, we don’t have ushers, flower girls or ring bearers (which I don’t think his family is too fond of as there are many little kids…but how can you just choose a couple and leave out others?!)We’re doing an adult only reception (for the most part), so that’s also a controversial one.

Oh, nevermind…big one is we’re “living in sin” and getting married in a Catholic church.  Lucky for us our families and Priest for the most part are very understanding. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 16
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Pinkmoon:  guilty if 1,2,6 & 8, and maybe 3 as I think thats a good idea.  

I think instead of having a more formal rehersal dinner we are leaning on opting to get a bunch of pizzas from a nice restaruant in town and bringing them to the venue.  Without any OTTers our rehersal dinner invite list was going to be long enough!  That way if anyonw wants to join up i don’t have to feel guilty about saying no, and also I can treat those helping us set up.  

registries in the invites, actually very common where I live, so I am following suit and did it as well.  

I have honestly never been a guest at an open bar reception.  Where I live it is common to have some beer and soda selections available for guests, and everything else cash only.  I might think about a signature drink for fun, but this is it.  



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