(Closed) What shared parental leave looks like

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Paradise Gardens

Westwood:  Ugh again what a bummer. Luckily it sounds like you’re already planning.

brlabrat:  Heck yeah thta stinks. It sounds like that policy needs to be reviewed again for sure! By The Way this is a really great thread…very insightful information that really speaks to how the United States values family.

LindyLu:  WoW  12 WEEKS! That’s great, at least your Darling Husband has the flexibility even if he does take less than that.


Post # 17
9421 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe I’ll change my mind once our baby is here, but honestly I’m not sure I’d want to take a whole year off from work! I don’t think I’m cut out to be a Stay-At-Home Mom lol.

Post # 19
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015


brlabrat:  haha yes that would be absolutely ideal!!!

Post # 20
2517 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We will be splitting.  I’ll take most (I get topped up for a chunk of my year) and he’lll take the rest. If he gets top up he will likely take the full time they offer the top up. 

I read this article to him tonight. I thought it was interesting to see the quotes from the dads. 

Post # 21
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We get 12 months maternity leave of that the government will pay currently $641.05 per week (minimum wage) before tax for a maximum of 18 weeks. My employer tops that up to full pay for 23 weeks. The men however only get 2 weeks paternal leave. 

Canada by far sounds like the best policy. 

Post # 22
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Not pregnant yet but when I do pop one out my Darling Husband and I will be splitting it. My job is much more of a niche so taking a year off (we are in Canada) won’t be possible. I also get a month of accrued vacation pay added to that year. So I’ll take 9 months and my husband will take 4 months. My work only tops up to 55% of pay but my DH’s pays 93%!

Post # 23
1184 posts
Bumble bee

In the UK, I have a year maternity leave.  ivthink the first few weeks have to be mine but after that, we could split it if we want. We have to give notice and it has to be chunked so no swapping every other week (fair enough as that would make maternity cover difficult).

Even if we didn’t split it Fiance has 2 weeks paternity too. 

We aren’t starting a family yet but the US’s poor parental leave (social system as a whole) is one of  the reasons I could never move there. 

Post # 24
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Darling Husband gets 12 weeks fully paid pl. I’m so excited because it is what he will need to be a hands on dad. 

Post # 25
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

We pay a lot in taxes here in Sweden but I would gladely pay more to keep our 1.5 years of payed parental leave, free universities and healthcare. Is is boring as hell but safe and secure, and thats what I want for my future children 🙂

I don’t think I could choose to have children  with someone who didn’t want at least half that time with his new child so we will be splitting. Fy said he would be truely angry with me if I took longer than half 🙂 It made me even more certain he’s my One.

Post # 26
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Another Canadian Beer! I saw this article yesterday and really enjoyed reading it – showed it to Darling Husband too. Men with babies *swoon* Am I right?! Darling Husband is planning on taking 1 month pat leave when the time comes.

Post # 27
4238 posts
Honey bee


I think we’re forgetting the broader picture when discussing maternity/paternity leave in the USA vs other countries with larger socialized benefits via taxes. In the USA, you can take longer for maternity, you just have to subsidize it for it yourself. If your company isn’t willing to hold your spot, or a comparable one, for your return, then they lose you to another business. And the companies who do hold slots officially, but unofficially make you feel like a jerk for taking the time, can also risk losing you to another business. IOW, free market forces work on both ends.

I personally think it wise to share leave (well, straddle leave) so that both parents can bond with the child on a one-on-one basis. jmho


Post # 28
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Darling Husband gets two weeks, paid.  We’ve talked about the possibility of him taking a few additional weeks, either unpaid or using sick time under FMLA.  But my leave will be largely unpaid (I can take 12 weeks under FMLA but my only pay will be using up my accrued sick/vacation time…. likely 5-6 weeks).  So I don’t know that we will be able to afford us both being out unpaid.  We’ll see, though.

Post # 29
1233 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Dh had zero paternity leave (company less than 50 peolpe so no fmla) ditto for me- I liked my job a lot but had to quit as it would have barely covered child care. We both plan on moving abroad within 10 years – we love our country but there are some serious problems with it. I’d rather pay higher taxes and have paid parental leave, cheap but good child care, free education and healthcare and you know, living in a country where it actually feels like your government cares about you.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  fiver.
Post # 30
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Westwood:  my company has the same policy on splitting FMLA. Darling Husband and I worked at the same company when we started TTC so we looked into that. He works at a different company now and won’t have FMLA yet when our baby arrives in NOV but he will be able to take two weeks out of his earned PTO, but they don’t give dads any special leave time. 

I get six weeks paid and will use 3wk of PTO, and might be able to use short term disability for the rest or I’ll just take that bit unpaid for 12wk total. 

My bro works for a CA based company and gets 10wks fully paid leave as a new dad! He’s about to take that for the 2nd time in 18mo when their LO #2 arrives this summer. 

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