Post # 1
My boyfriend and I recently went to a birthday and he got a bit drunk and so I thought I would take advantage of the situation… I started talking bout getting married and asked him when we would be going ring shopping and he said something along the lines of in a couple of months… But he was really drunk so when we spoke it a few days later I thought I would take advantage of the situation and convinced him that he said a few weeks.. And so I convinced him it was all his idea but Im starting to sense he is not really into it… It’s breaking my heart but I’m thinking that maybe he feels like he is obligated to go ring shopping which we are planning on doing tomorrow.. Should I cancel last minute so he doesn’t feel pressure? I’m feeling so guilty and I feel like even though I convinced him it was his idea it isnt his idea 🙁
Post # 3
I think you should stop mentioning anything about marriage/engagement for a bit.
Go ring shopping with him if he wants to, if he “forgets” about it don’t push him to do it.
Getting engaged is a huge commitment and most men will not let themselves be “forced” into making it.
Take a step back for now, and revisit the conversation in a few months while sober so you can get a true gauge of his feelings and what his timelines are.
Post # 4
No one should have to convince their Fiance to go ring shopping or propose.
Post # 5
Can you just tell him that you can see he isn’t as into it now as he was when he was drinking (technically true) and you would like to wait until he is for sure more into it? Like in a couple of months? Maybe set a timeframe so you feel good about it?
If he isn’t into it, it won’t be fun, anyway.
Post # 6
Apologize for pressuring him. Trust me i have been there where i thought mentioning it and trying to convince him would work. It doesn’t.
Try to focus on your own things right now. Try to be a better girlfriend. Take up a new hobby. He will do it when he is ready. And isn’t that what you would prefer? Its only ever going to happen once. Why not make sure its EVERYTHING you wanted.
Post # 7
I would tell him forget about it. Do you really believe you convinced him that he brought it up, or do you think he is playing along and agreeing with you because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings when he knows better? I would think that a man would remember bringing up a conversation like this no matter how drunk he is!
I would call it off as a PP mentioned it won’t be fun anyway.
Post # 8
@Rouquine: I agree 100%.
I don’t think a good idea to talk to him about something so serious as getting married while he’s drunk. Especially if he was as drunk as you say. I also don’t think it’s really fair to try to convince him that he said he wanted to ring shop sooner.
I would call off the ring shopping. If he’s dragging his feet, it won’t be nearly as fun and you may be disappointed at the end of it. Try to relax and focus on yourself. Do things you want to do and that make you happy. Mr. Bee’s Plan is said to be pretty effective…
Post # 9
Thank you so much for your advice girls!!!!! What would I do without you….
Post # 10
Yeah, I agree with all the PPs. Stick to looking at ring porn on WB
Post # 11
Happy to help 🙂
Good luck and remember the Hive is always here to help and put things in perspective!