(Closed) What should I do?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you should stop mentioning anything about marriage/engagement for a bit.

Go ring shopping with him if he wants to, if he “forgets” about it don’t push him to do it.

Getting engaged is a huge commitment and most men will not let themselves be “forced” into making it. 

Take a step back for now, and revisit the conversation in a few months while sober so you can get a true gauge of his feelings and what his timelines are.

Post # 4
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KatNYC2011:  +1

No one should have to convince their Fiance to go ring shopping or propose.

Post # 5
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

Can you just tell him that you can see he isn’t as into it now as he was when he was drinking (technically true) and you would like to wait until he is for sure more into it? Like in a couple of months? Maybe set a timeframe so you feel good about it?

If he isn’t into it, it won’t be fun, anyway.

Post # 6
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

Apologize for pressuring him.  Trust me i have been there where i thought mentioning it and trying to convince him would work.  It doesn’t.  

Try to focus on your own things right now.  Try to be a better girlfriend.  Take up a new hobby.  He will do it when he is ready.  And isn’t that what you would prefer? Its only ever going to happen once.  Why not make sure its EVERYTHING you wanted. 

Post # 7
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would tell him forget about it. Do you really believe you convinced him that he brought it up, or do you think he is playing along and agreeing with you because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings when he knows better? I would think that a man would remember bringing up a conversation like this no matter how drunk he is!

I would call it off as a PP mentioned it won’t be fun anyway.

Post # 8
Member
1155 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Rouquine:  I agree 100%. 

I don’t think a good idea to talk to him about something so serious as getting married while he’s drunk. Especially if he was as drunk as you say. I also don’t think it’s really fair to try to convince him that he said he wanted to ring shop sooner. 

I would call off the ring shopping. If he’s dragging his feet, it won’t be nearly as fun and you may be disappointed at the end of it. Try to relax and focus on yourself. Do things you want to do and that make you happy. Mr. Bee’s Plan is said to be pretty effective…

Post # 10
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yeah, I agree with all the PPs. Stick to looking at ring porn on WB Smile

Post # 11
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

Happy to help 🙂

Good luck and remember the Hive is always here to help and put things in perspective!

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