- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Long story short, I have both a half brother and half sister from my dad’s side of the marriage that I’ve never met (well, I met the brother when I was 16, but only for a few days). My dad was really young at the time of his previous marriage and wasn’t that father that he is now to me and my full-brother. But over the years he has tried to mend his relationships with his other kids and talks to them often….but he is not in their lives the way he is in ours. I’m sure it causes resentment, and I don’t blame them at all. The reason we’ve never met is age difference (they’re like 20 years older than me), location, and mostly them fighting with my mother at a younger age and now it’s just tense. Plus they spent many years angry at my dad.
I am friends with them on facebook, and sister sends me a (IMO) very passive-aggressive message, about how she’d like to send me a wedding gift, not that she got an invitation anyway, and how a wedding was much too hectic of a place to meet an older sister. I honestly had no idea how to respond. So I let it sit for a couple of days.
She sends me another message saying she hopes she didn’t upset me. I responded to that one nicely, didn’t mention the wedding, told her that she certainly didn’t have to send us a gift, but could if she wanted to. And tried to chane the subject a bit.
Am I being awful? I just feel that I honestly don’t even know her (we’ve never even talked on the phone). She lives several states away. I also feel that a wedding is a SUPER awkward, busy place to meet someone like that. I’m going to have so many things going on that day, I am not going to have time to catch up on the last 22 years of my life with her. But I also don’t want to be rude by not inviting her.
My dad is on the fence about inviting them. My mom said that she would be nervous about it, due to their history, but that it’s my wedding and my decision. I don’t want to make my mom uncomfortable. Her happiness on my wedding day is so important to me!
What do you all think?