(Closed) What should I do???

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

What should you do?? Drop that shit and run!!

You’ve made your mistakes, but there is no way to go back. His “trust issues” are actually just irrationally rampant jealousy and he is trying to manipulate you, control your social life, and make you out to be the bad guy – you’re “making” him act that way? No, he is choosing to. He is abusive in the clearest sense of the word. Gaslighting, intimidation, name calling, physical harm. No, no, no. You do not want this man in your or your child’s life.

I say again – RUN!

Post # 3
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Um, I would be packing my shit and getting the hell out of there.  The violence he is showing is not good.  Do you really want to raise a child in a house where the Father, when he gets mad, breaks things, throw things and even grabs you?

Should you have lied about the lunches you had with friends?  No.  But, you most likely did so because you knew that his reaction would be a very violent, angry one.

And you aren’t bringing anything out in him.  He is the one to blame for his behavior.  Normal people do not react the way he has.  Trust is very important thing to have in a relationship and to me it seems like you both have zero trust in each other.  That is not good.  It is also not good that he is making you believe that all of this is your fault.  He is emotionally abusive (calling you horrid names and threatening to sleep with other people) and is one step away from being physically abusive (in fact he kind of is since he has no problem grabbing you when he is angry).

So do yourself and your unborn child a favor and get out.

Post # 4
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@azn2105x  While cheating on your SO was a poor choice you made, it does not excuse abuse. NOTHING excuses abuse, and the fact that you are pregnant makes it even worse IMO. He not only has no regard for your safety, but he also has no regard for the safety of an unborn baby. That is NOT ok. You cheating on him, again while a poor choice, does NOT excuse him putting hands on you and calling you names. If he wants to be able to fix things he needs to behave as an adult. An adult would go to counseling and try to rectify the issues and find forgiveness if they wanted to stay in the relationship. An adult would not lash out and use someone else’s poor choice as an excuse for their poor choices. My suggestion – leave. Abuse is not ok. Also, in future relationships, don’t hide things. It’s hard to trust someone who hides things, even if they feel that they were hiding them for good reason. Good luck OP. Please stay safe. You have a baby to think about. 

Post # 5
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

I also want to add that you going to out to eat with two male friends does not equal you cheating on your BF.  Did you lie to him?  Yes.  But having a meal with a friend is not cheating.

Post # 6
Member
3535 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
@azn2105x  this sounds like an awesome relationship.  Uh, he calls you a whore and is abusive. Do you really want your child growing up and witnessing this?  LEAVE

Post # 7
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Not that it matters because nothing excuses his awful behavior but: is it his child? If it’s not, the resentment he has towards you for cheating will definitely spill over to this child as well. He will treat the child just as horribly as he’s treating you. If it is his child, I’m not confident he still won’t hurt the child. If not physically, mentally. Your kid is going to grow up seeing this behavior from your boyfriend and that will effect him/her.

Post # 8
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Walk away. End of story.

Post # 9
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

is the cheating that you keep talking about the dinners? did you actual “cheat” (ie emotionally or physically) or did you just have a meal with a friend (that you were not interested in romantically)

 

No matter the answer I would say RUN! this guy seems crazy

Post # 10
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Magnolia House

View original reply
@azn2105x  Yea its time to walk away, whether for a moment or forever yyou guys need a break. 

Also for future reference, if you cheat on someone and then later on have lunches with other men, it would be so much easier on you and him if you were honest and not lie about. Hey babe, I had lumch with so & so, to hide it from him makes you look like you are lying. If nothing was going on why lie about it. My dad has aways said when you hide something its because you are doing something wrong and you know it. If there was nothing there then there is nothing to hide. If he is that jealous of you its because he never got over the cheating and that will be something you have to live with for th rest of your lofe. I personally would choose to move on instead of having someone feel that insecure in our relationship.

Post # 12
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@azn2105x  Wow. When you said cheating, I thought you meant actual physical contact with someone else. I’m sorry but your SO is a jealous psycho. Definitely run – fast. 

Post # 14
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
@azn2105x  uhh… that’s not cheating.

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