What should i do????

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
17 posts


aoifeo :  this is what I am thinking too. Most likely he has a wife/live-in girlfriend. Or he may have someone who stays over the night frequently that she has toothbrush/lipstick/perfume in his bathroom. 

The words he uses seem interesting to me. “can’t wait to explore each other” carries sexual connotations. A person who is truly interested in getting to know you more would say things like “Can’t wait to get to know you more” or “Looking forward to watching a movie with you.”

Keep dating other people. When I was online dating, there was this one guy I thought that was the “one.” Took me to fancy restaurants, non-stop texts/calls, planning fun dates etc.. After sex six dates in, puff, ghosted on me.

It sucks now but this too shall pass. Good luck bee! 

Post # 17
186 posts
Blushing bee

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he just wanted to have sex. His excuse for not wanting to go to his place is also BS, I would be suspicious that he’s in a relationship or just doesn’t want anything serious. 


Edit: Also in this day and age almost everyone has a smartphone, so I no longer believe the excuse that they’re bad at texting back; unless he has an old school Nokia and needs to press 9 four times to get a Z. 

Post # 18
7909 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d be wondering if he’s actually single as well. The hotel thing seems suspect. 

I’d let this guy go. Between the sketchy living situation and inconsistent communication it doesn’t seem worth it. Next!!!

Post # 19
9553 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

This guy isn’t it. Keep it movin. 

Post # 21
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be weirded out about being asked to go to a hotel room on the 2nd date. Who rents a hotel room (running over $100 for a decent one) to go cuddle for a couple hours? 100% he wanted sex, and/or to cheat on someone. 

Post # 23
55 posts
Worker bee

suelan1006 :  I found this with online dating quite a bit too. The first time was really upsetting. I was in long relationships all through my 20s so dating was brand new to me. The first guy that showed any interest in me sparked a lot of excitment. I built it up in my head quite a bit. He was great until after we slept together. Then he pulled way back, stopped texting as much and suddenly was too busy for regular dates but we could “hang out” when he was free… which was usually close to midnight. I put up with that for about a month before I just stopped texting him and never heard from him again. 

There are a LOT of guys like this online. Eventually you start to figure it out. It became a LOT easier to spot the bullshit over time. 

The guy I am with now never had me questioning his interest. He texted me frequently and wrote back quickly when I messaged him. He made clear and specific plans with me and never cancelled on me last minute without a very good reason and a date and time to make it up. I told him I wasn’t ready to put a label on what we were but we had an open conversation about our feelings, what we were looking for and what we wanted. He never gave me crap answers or tried to change the topic. At no point… from day one… did I question how he felt about me

Post # 25
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

chrys3434 :  

He’s inconsistent with communication

He invited you to a hotel on the 2nd date aka trying to sleep with you regardless of what he said his intentions were

Has a child and they are “temporarily” living with his parents

So many red flags, especially for someone you barely know. I’d call it quits and move on, this guy sounds shady. I would bet that he’s either married, or lives with his parents but not by his own choice AKA hes a bum.

Post # 27
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Yep, as soon as I read the part about the hotel my brain started screaming, “he’s married!” Or at least involved in a serious relationship. I’d let this one go, bee.

Post # 29
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Move on bee, he’s not serious……okay maybe he is about hooking up but that’s about it.

Post # 30
373 posts
Helper bee

chrys3434 :  problem is that they take advantage that there are so many people out there willing to go to the hotel on the first night

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