(Closed) What should I do?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Do they *have* to go for a full week? It would make me nervous to be cutting it that close also, especially with how unreliable flights can be.

It doesn’t hurt to talk to your BMs, but don’t expect it out of them. I’m not sure what you/they were wanting to do, but big destination things like that can sometimes require more advance notice for people to be able to participate.

Post # 4
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm. Maybe explain your fears to him. Things like “I’m worried you might get stuck out there so close to the wedding” and things. Be honest with him. I think him going for any less than a week would be a bit of a waste of money – after all, he is flying all the way to Tokyo. But I also see your side of the story. Just say you’d love for him to go but can he please bump it up a couple weeks. 

As for having your own destination party. Well there’s no harm in asking but I wouldn’t put my hopes up that high.

Post # 6
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Um, I’m with you on this one, no way would I be ok with my FH going on a major trip like that right before the wedding.  Not only is that cutting it close but what about all the stuff that will have to get done in the 2 weeks leading up to the wedding?? I think it’s really unfair of him to basically lay it all on you by leaving for the week before the wedding! If it were me, I’d pretty much put my foot down on this one and say no way jose…

Post # 7
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My main problem with the trip is the length….a week?  That’s a bit ridiculous I think.  I get that it’s Tokyo, so they can’t just go for a weekend, but I’m a pretty cool gal and a week is way too long (imo).

Post # 8
990 posts
Busy bee

@ star_bee…I agree a week is a little long for a bachelor party…what would they be doing for a week? that is some serious partying!

Post # 9
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Is your Fiance related to my FI?! I posted a while back about my Fiance wanting to go to Europe for a week during the summer to party with his Groomsmen and how uncomfortable I was with the whole thing. If he were planning to go within a month of the wedding I would blow a gasket!!!! Is there any reason he couldn’t do a weekend get away somewhere closer to home and perhaps not right before the wedding?!

As for the bachelorette, I kind of have to agree. When I found out what Fiance and his guys were planning I was pretty jealous and a little sad knowing that my girls just don’t have the kind of cash to do anything nearly as extravagent. However, keep in perspective that it’s about the people you’re with rather than the destination right? I’m sure your girls will throw you an awesome night (or maybe weekend) even if it’s close to home! We’re doing a weekend getaway in Niagara-on-the-Lake, but I have NO idea what we’re going to do. Maybe some winery tours? They’re keeping pretty quiet on the planning other than the “where”. In any case, I’m looking forward to it even though it’s not something exotic like Europe 🙂

Post # 10
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My problem is not the length because if one has to spend 24 hr flying back and forth the pacific ocean, might as well spend at least a week there. However, it is too close to the wedding. Hopefully, when you get to talk to him, you guys will be able to figure out if he could make it earlier or why he can’t. Armed with some reason to persaude him like “families coming to town, last min- emergencies, last minute projects, etc”.

As for your own bachelorette party, I think it’s best not to compare it to your FI’s. More appropriately, compare it in the context of your own social circle (how lavish do u guys do other parties or bachelorette’s parties). Unless ur BMs are bathing in $, it may be too demanding for them. Imagine urself as the a Bridesmaid or Best Man planning a bachelorette party for ur friend and how you would like to be treated.

Post # 11
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

The thing that worries me is that it’s a really long flight.  He might be off sleeping wise for a few days.  It really is too close to the wedding.

For the bachelorette, I would try not to compare them.  You don’t want to put an undue influence on your bridesmaids if they can’t afford to go away for it.

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