(Closed) What should I do about my BM?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
13756 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think having her step down is the right move.  I would just give her the space she requested.  Send her an invitation to the wedding, and it’s up to her if she wants to come.

Honestly, if someone treats your fiance like that, do you really want them in your life?  Let her cut herself out and move on.

Post # 3
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Has she always been like this? I wouldn’t want that kind of negativity in my life.

The classy thing to do would be to invite her to the wedding, although honestly, I’d have a hard time having someone with those opinions at my wedding.

Post # 4
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

kikilo:  What a bitch. You definitely made the right decision to remove her as a bridesmaid. I would wait and see what your relationship is like up to the wedding. If she falls off the face of the earth, I wouldn’t even send her an invite. 

Post # 6
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

kikilo:  Well shit, Fiance and I are what some would consider “hick”. I guess we’ll make our way to the “fancy as fuck” Famous Daves for our next date night.

Sounds like she’s jealous about the situation. And her whole “I can’t believe you asked me that!” comment, yeah… she actually can believe it because I’m guessing she’s been wanting an out. This is probably her way of getting out of your wedding, but turning it around on you, making you look like the bad guy.

If she’s going to judge, and make stereotypes stating she doesn’t “approve” of your Fiance going to fancy place for dinner, shit can the bitch.

Post # 7
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well, she doesn’t sound very nice. Take the out and decide if you want to remain friends with her after some time has passed and you both have cooled down. If you do, you’ll have to have a serious talk about boundaries and appropriate behaviors/attitudes.

if she disapproved of him for a legitimate reason, I could understand but calling him a hick and making fun of you all for going to chain restaurants is very snobby and rude.

Post # 8
Member
2012 posts
Buzzing bee

Why would you ask her to be a bridesmaid in the first place if she was making fun of your fiance and your dates before?

Cut the b*tch loose. I would NEVER put up with someone treating my SO like that and they wouldn’t be invited to the wedding either!! Your loyalty should lie wiht your Fiance. Why is this person even getting a STD?

Post # 9
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

kikilo: She doesn’t get to play the victim. She insulted your fiance and now you’d rather not have her in the wedding. This is your wedding and being a bridesmaid is not a right, it’s a priveledge. She sounds like manipulative drama queen.

Post # 10
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

If she is going to insult the relationship then it was probably for the better. Even if she did come around she would probably insult your then husband. You made the right choice. You need people there that are going to support your relationship. 

Post # 11
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

kikilo:  no you were not wrong to ask her that! The people that stand up at the alter with you & your fiance should be the closest & most supportive people in your life. Being a bridesmaid has meaning behind if…to me at least. I definitely wouldn’t ask or want someone to stand up there, by my side, as a strong supporter of my marriage, if they don’t “approve” of my man! That defeats the purpose. That’s craziness! 

Post # 12
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

kikilo:  I’ll be really blunt with you.  She’s not necessarily jealous as other posters have suggested.  It’s possible that she does disapprove of your fiance for a variety of reasons amd some of them might be valid.

That doesn’t matter.  You have made the decision to marry this man.  You cannot have a women who thinks so little of him at your wedding, let alone in it.  That would be hurtful to your fiance.  You should uninvite her from the wedding.  

Post # 13
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

kikilo:  “She used to make fun of my fiancé and my chain restaurant dates. So mad at myself for putting up with this.” It sounds like there have been issues and like you probably shouldn’t have asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man to begin with. Now is your opportunity to let her go. Even if she “comes around”, I don’t think I’d have her in the wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think I am the Lone Ranger but why was the first thing you asked her was to step down!? Granted her comment was rude but enough to say i don’t want you beside me on my big day? I think I would’ve asked if you weere kidding as well I think you had a bit of an over reaction because she hurt your feelings.

This is enough to end a friendship!? sheesh!

Take her out because IMO you probably didn’t want her there in the beginning to dismiss her so fast

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