(Closed) What should I do about my dad walking me down the aisle? PLEASE HELP, need advic

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Personally, I would have my mom walk me down the aisle. She has raised you your whole life and it sounds like you haven’t had the best relationship with your dad.

Post # 4
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@futuremrsbc:  Nope. I would have your mom walk you down the aisle. I wouldn’t spend anymore time thinking about this decision and move on to the next thing. I’m sorry you have to put up with this during your wedding though.

Post # 5
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

I think he has no right to demand he be the one to give you away, especially after taking that attitude and intentionally trying to hurt you with several lies. I would tell him up front you want your mom to walk you down the aisle and if he wants to tell his family not to come, that’s fine. Honestly, it seems like your mom really deserves this moment. 

At the end of the day, it’s your day and you have to do what feels right to you. You could hve both walk you down the aisle, but I would hesitate in even giving him that at this point. 

Post # 6
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ok. This is going to come off as bad… but I think both of you are in the wrong.

You assumed he would pay for things. And if you didn’t, you sure made it look like that. He can spend money on whatever he wants. He is not obligated to pay for your wedding. Setting up a meeting without asking first put him on spot especially if you planned all along to have your mom walk you down the aisle instead of him. 

As for him, he sounds like a manipulative jerk. 

If you want to patch things up, offer to have him escort you down the aisle WITH your mom. If he doesn’t like it, he can skip out and take his flakey family with him.  

Post # 7
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@futuremrsbc:  wtf? I mean, seriously, WTF?!! Why are you even giving this a second thought? Your father was beyond mean to you and called you names, lied to you, and badmouthed the woman who raised you. 

Have your mom walk you down the aisle. This guy needs to eff off. 

Post # 8
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have VERY similar situation with my parents.  I had them both walk me down the aisle.  They were both annoyed the other got to do it, but it’s what we did and it turned out fine.  My mom felt she deserved the honor, and my dad didn’t want to be embarassed he wasn’t chosen.  They both badmouth each other, but my dad is a narcissitic liar.  He has been terrible to everyone our whole lives.  Parents hadn’t spoken in over 10 years, but hell if we weren’t all smiling down that aisle.


Post # 9
3258 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@futuremrsbc:  One: He (nor your mother) owes you any money toward your wedding, so if he only wants to pitch in $500, and instead spend his money on things he likes to do, that’s his business.

Two: He’s a giant dickweed and you should tell him to fix his attitude or not come at all, and that no, he isn’t walking you down the aisle.

Three: Ask your mom, because that was your first reaction to the whole question in the first place.

Post # 10
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If my father behaved like that, he wouldn’t be on the guest list, much less walking me down the aisle.

Post # 11
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Have mom do it.  His behavior is ridiculous.

Post # 12
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would go with your mum. She has been there for you more than your dad and I don’t think he has the right to demand to walk your down the aisle and behave like that. 

Post # 13
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sounds like my dad (he and my mom divorced when I was 11, he moved away at 14). My dad pulled a LOT of shit before the wedding – offered to pay, and then backed out 2 weeks before thousands of dollars were due, talked all kinds of shit on me and my family (literally out of the blue – we think it’s because we didn’t call him for his birthday). 

Surprise, he showed up to the wedding, and didn’t gift us with a card or any apology or “sorry that you had to take out a loan because I’m an asshole.” I decided to sweep it under the rug because I didn’t want to argue with him anymore. 

About a month ago, he pulled this shit again (out of the blue) and told me he wished I’d never been born, that he hoped I died, that my mom is a failure and so am I, and on and on and on.


Your dad is a lot like mine. He is juvenile. When he doesn’t get his way, he pitches a fit and says hurtful things so that he can try to put all of the blame and guilt on you instead of letting you put it on him in anyway. He is a child who needs help. I would honestly not even have him attend if he continues to act this way.

Go with your gut, and have your mom do it. You said yourself – she’s the one who’s been there for you all this time. 

Post # 14
2685 posts
Sugar bee

Walking a bride down the aisle is an honor and privilege.  Your mother has earned that honor.  Your father has not done anything to earn it.  Maybe he will make good progress in the next three months, but I’d still be hesitant because he sounds manipulative.  Do what feels right, and it sounds like that’s letting your mom escort you down the aisle.

Post # 15
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Your dad is a toxic person. Don’t let him do it.

Post # 16
30 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I were you I wouldn’t even accept any $$ from him for the wedding b/c it sounds like he would potentially use that to manipulate you too.


Don’t have him walk you down the aisle if you do not want to.  Have your mom do it, you will be so glad you did.  Now that I look back, having someone walk me down the aisle meant having someone to be calm and reassuring (all my nerves hit me right before I walked down the aisle).  I don’t think your dad really deserves that honor, he sounds like a jerk.  

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