(Closed) Oh my gosh…really? (Bridesmaids ettiquette)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Take her off the website.  If anyone asks just tell them it’s not something you are comfortable discussing, and change the topic.



Post # 4
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well, she’s obviously not your friend.  Tell her you understand, and that she will not be attending your wedding.  The monogrammed tote bag can be donated.  For the programs, how much would it cost for them to be reprinted?  (I am impressed that yours are done already — I haven’t even considered what mine will look like!)  If you cannot get them reprinted due to cost (I can’t imagine time would be a restraint), if anyone asks where she is, simply say, “She was unfortunately unable to attend,” and say no more.

Post # 5
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Remove her from the wedding, toss the tote and focus on what really matters – that you and your Fiance will get married! Just don’t waste any more energy on her!

As for the invitations, any chance that you can just replace that page?

Post # 6
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sweetie, I am sorry you are dealing with these disrespectful people. I know you are so tired and stressed because of them. I would say what was posted “I would rather not discuss it”. Those who have backed out should not be allowed to attend your ceremony or reception. You need people to attend that have good vibes and are truly happy for you both.I

The last thing you need is for them to attend and talk about you the whole time they are there.

If you could just close your facebook account so you do see what trouble they are stirring up.

I hope you have a beautiful wedding and happy and long life together.


Post # 8
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with PP, remove them from the website, donate their totes, and change the programs if possible. They don’t need to be in your wedding and they don’t even deserve to be guests if they’re going to be that nasty.

Post # 9
7685 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@peachacid:  This is pretty well exactly what I’d say – uninvite her from the wedding, so her name + photo in the program isn’t so strange. If people ask why she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man on the website, just say she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man anymore, say nothing else. If people press you on it, say something like, “Sorry but it’s a private matter between me and her”.

Post # 10
4370 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs about the programs and totes – for the dress, I would ask her to pay for it, since she backed out after it was purchased. Point out that it was she who came to you wanting to be Bridesmaid or Best Man (after declining the first time) and thus the expense is hers, not yours.


Post # 11
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Wow!  I’m really sorry!  She doesn’t sound like a very good friend.  Honestly I think it sounds like she’s trying to get kicked out or is complaining a bunch so she doesn’t look bad when she steps down.  So I would allow her to step out of the wedding.  I would then delete her (and the other girl you asked to bow out) from my life.  I know it sucks to lose that money but in the end you’ll be much happier to not have the added stress of her complaining.  If she’s like this now, think of how she’ll be the day of?!  As for people asking about it, I wouldn’t give much information.  I would just say that you prefer not to discuss it.  Its better to be the bigger person and not trash her, even though she seems to be okay trash talking you.  Good Luck!!

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