(Closed) What should I do about this? My name was left off wedding invitation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just asked Fiance to get a man’s perspective.

He said the first thing he would do is call and ask him what the deal was. If he is close enough to your Fiance to be best men, etiquette shouldn’t really apply so much. He even went so far as to say if his friend had told him “Sorry, man, she can’t come”, he wouldn’t go because we are a packaged deal.

 

Post # 33
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can’t wait to hear what the groom says. This is absolutely ridiculous!!!

Post # 34
Member
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@cmbr:  +1

I love passive aggressiveness though LOL.  I think they were rude and so you can be rude back.  And then put the ball in THEIR court to call you guys and say, uhm hey – she’s NOT invited and then your Fiance can be like, uhm wtf. 

Post # 35
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Geez hopefully it was a mistake.

Post # 36
Member
2910 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@JaneyDcat:  his handwriting is like a serial killer.

Totally off topic, but this is an awesome turn of phrase.

Post # 37
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I definitely think that he should call him on it – that is pretty crazy rude and I would just love to hear the answer. Do you often go out with them and get invited places or you just see them with a group always? I just can’t understand

Post # 38
Member
3051 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I would 100% as my Fiance to ask his friend what’s up with you not being on the invite. & definitely not “can she come?” but “is she invited or not?” If not, he needs to be prepared ahead of time with his response. If he doesn’t think that’s okay (which I hope he doesn’t because I certainly do NOT), he needs to respond appropriately. What an asshole move by whomever addressed the invites, ESP since they addressed them correctly to another engaged couple. I definitely think it was intentional & I would strongly reconsider my relationship with the couple (if found that the groom was aware)

Post # 39
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

View original reply
@laciekate: +1  

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@JaneyDcat:  +1

i’m thinking the groom has no idea you weren’t invited. DH didn’t help with the invites at all so if i wanted to be a bitch and not invite someone, he wouldn’t have known. he would’ve just assumed that person didn’t/couldn’t come. i can’t wait to read an update on this!

Post # 40
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@cmbr:  I agree… this is the one situation where I’d just write her in on the RSVP card. If they’re ENGAGED, it’s absolutely unacceptable to not invite her. And it sounds like the bride-to-be is aware of fiancee’s existence, unlike with my invitations where my fiance has never gotten back to me on my repeated requests for a list of which of his coworkers are married and if their wives have the same last name, so there are probably like a dozen married people who are being invited “so and so and guest” because I just don’t KNOW. haha.

Post # 41
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

 That seems very rude or a significant oversight. Waiting to see what OP says about the conversation.

Post # 42
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@HockeyGirl:  Agree with PP, ask your Fiance to check with the groom, 10 to 1 his conniving blushing bride to be is up to shenanigans behind his back. Rude 🙁

Post # 43
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ouch !!

(( HUGS )) to you…

Oh Hon, this is intentional… you were not invited.

There is no way in H#LL that the Bride messed up twice (she’d have to be really really clueless)

I can feel your pain, I’d certainly be mortified knowing how you all socialize together, and your Fiance is their Best Man

Either they are cutting the list to save costs (maybe no one in the Bridal Party is getting plus ones… maybe their cut-off is married folks, whatever)

But the coin has dropped (and so has your name evidently from their social register)

Take the high road.

Do not ask… don’t have your Fiance ask… this will be super MORE awkward all away around if you do

Fiance can be this guys Best Man or not… the choice is up to him

But I certainly would not bring this all up with the couple… and besides feeling awkward trying to confirm the status… the resulting possibility of “a NO she isn’t included” would be just too awful to endure.

Sorry… but I don’t have any better news.  Let it go, and move on.

 

Post # 44
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds to me like the Bride purposefully left you off the invite which is super tacky considering your FH is the best man! Let us know what happens!

Post # 45
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Geez, this whole thing just seems so weird! It doesn’t seem like a mistake, I really want to know what happens!

Post # 46
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

”Neither one of us is over the moon for his bride”


does this mean you dont like her? if ur nice to her face but are not happy for her she would definatley be able to pick up on that & that would give her a reason to make sure u werent invited. be prepared for an awkward truth when your fiance asks his friend whats going on. on the other hand this is so rude & so obvious what she’s done & i would be hurt. i think ur fiance should go as best man but definately say something & make sure u uninvite her to the wedding!

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