(Closed) What should I do about this? My name was left off wedding invitation

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

I hope all goes well!! Bumping for an update 

Post # 48
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think a lot of posters are missing something in their replys….

The OP’s fiance is this guy’s BEST MAN right? So it’s not like he can’t go to the wedding if it’s only a month away no matter how terrible it is the OP wasn’t formally invited. 



That’s seriously just terrible though.

Post # 49
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@MissGemini:  “So it’s not like he can’t go to the wedding

Why not?

When you accept to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man or Groomsmen, that’s on the understanding that the bride + groom won’t treat you like rubbish. Why should the best man respect their wedding if they won’t respect his?

That said, I’m betting it’s a simple mistake. (And really hope the OP updates us!)

Post # 50
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

View original reply
@BookishBelle:  I’m the same way. There’d be no beating around the bush with me, if it was my friend.

Post # 51
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I didn’t read anyone else’s thoughts but here are my thoughts: it is not okay to not formally invite your attendants’ significant others or guest, especially when there is a cohabitation situation AND you have met both of them. I can’t even imagine why they would do that(assuming you don’t have a history with someone else in the party? haha) BUT I can’t imagine that throughout the process 3 different times (STD, Inner, and Outer) it was an oversight unless the bride has left the entire issue to someone in her party, in which case it is still extremely unlikely being that Maid/Matron of Honor or someone else close will know about the best man’s living situation, you know?

I definitely think your Fiance should bring it up. It would not be rude on your part asking about it because it is just poor etiquette to ask someone to do you the privilege of being your best man and then not allowing that person to spend the day with their loved one.

Chances are they will not start a conflict and just say “no you’re not invited” they’ll probably find an excuse and end up saying you can come, but that may be awkward for you, I don’t know.

Post # 52
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

This is horrible for you, I’m sorry.


The bride is a b*tch not a very nice person by the sound of it.

Post # 53
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, if this girl is so shiesty as to try and pull one over on her groom like this, then you have good reason “not be over the moon” about her.

But something isn’t right here, how is this issue just presenting itself? I feel like if your Fiance is the best man, then they must have discussed the wedding and plans etc., and if you hang out with this couple I’m sure they have talked about their wedding to you right? I think it is just too weird to be a purposeful snub…but at the same time if you know enough etiquette to inclue inner envelopes for the purpose of addressing who is invited, then how could this be an oversight?

Let us know how this goes (hugs) we are all with you!

Post # 54
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Oooh, that’s a tough one. I think it does need to be brought up with the groom if you think it was an oversight, unless you can think of a reason the bride purposly wouldn’t invite you. You mentioned that you didn’t completly love her but have you had a falling out?

Also, I would ask around other couple friends who would have been invited and see if only one name is on their invites. 

Post # 55
14057 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your Fiance should call the groom and ask.  If he says that you were, in fact, not invited, I would personally reconsider being part of that wedding.  Good luck!

Post # 56
2 posts
  • Wedding: January 2014

Wow this is such a tricky situation. You definitely should have been invited though. As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve been with your partner for a year or more, you should be invited – regardless of whether you’re a fiancee, girlfriend, wife. It’s just rude otherwise!

Post # 57
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think this is an oversight, I think you were deliberately not invited and that is acceptable. I would have your fiance ask the groom about it – maybe he doesn’t have any idea you were left off the invite?

I know you said not going wasn’t an option, but this seems extremely disrespectful and if after your fiance talks to the groom, you are STILL not invited, neither of you should attend the wedding.

Post # 58
3616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
@Brideonabudgetlauren:  +1

I have a friend who got married a few months ago and she honestly believes you don’t include both names of the couple. I think brideonabudgetlauren has the right idea of casually mentioning it. This could be how your friend thinks invites are addressed. Some people really are THAT clueless about etiquette.

Post # 59
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think your FH needs to say some thing to the groom. It is likely that he doesn’t know, I cant imagine him approving that for any reason. Do not worry about creating drama, the other girl is really responsible for creating the drama. 

If it was intentional, and FH best friend let it happen, then he needs a new best friend. I would be furious, personally, if he still participated in their wedding. I don’t believe in standing up with someone just to make pictures work. 

Post # 60
3679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think everyone is really jumping to conclusions without knowing all the information. Do you know for a fact that other +1’s were included on the invitations for other couples? If that’s true, then it’s more likely that you were excluded on purpose. However, this might just be a mistake where the couple fully intended to invite you.

Post # 61
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
@cmbr:  Agreed — they’re not going to follow etiquette and invite you, why should you follow etiquette. Write in your name and then have the confrontation!

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