(Closed) What should I do about this? My name was left off wedding invitation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You should confront BRIDEZILLA with the back of your hand, and tell her how rude she is! … Or go with 

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@Brideonabudgetlauren: ‘s idea! Lol…

choice is yours 😉

Post # 63
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i think this bride is trying to stir up drama. They intentionally did not invite you. 

I wouldn’t have my Fiance talk to the groom either. Instead, I’d just have him RSVP for himself, go alone, and not mention it until after the wedding/or if/when the groom asks him why you aren’t coming. 

Personally, I wouldn’t want to attend a wedding where the bride didn’t want me there, even if my husband was the best man. 

Post # 64
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@Overjoyed:  +1,

I am hoping it’s an oversight but it sounds like it could have been deliberate on the bride’s part. A conversation should definitely be had, and I would hope that if you aren’t invited, your Fiance lets them know that he will be unable to attend. You have been together 10 years and are engaged… this is not some casual, passing fling. You have created a life together, and are a package deal.

Post # 65
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@cmbr:  But that is the best thing about forums. Jumping to wild conclusions and solving keyboard mysteries! 

I think it sounds like OP has been left off on purpose. It’s a friendship ending move on their behalf. Let’s hope that isn’t the case. 

Post # 66
Hostess
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Wow, what a tough one. Maybe if the bride knows that you aren’t really a fan of her then you could maybe see why she wouldn’t want you there. Would you want people at your wedding that didn’t like you/ have faith in your relationship?

Either way I think your Fiance needs to get some clarification. It may be a total oversight or it may be intentional but if your Fiance is the best man then hopefully he has the kind of relationship with the groom that he can be like – dude? Is my Fiance invited or not?

Post # 67
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I personally can’t stand one of my fiance’s friends girlfriend. This women and I have gotten into it multiple times and I hate the idea of having her at my wedding because I know she will just be criticiszing everything at my wedding and most likely talking crap. However It’s important to my fiance his friend be there so she was invited. I have only sent out the save the dates so I only did Mr and Mrs…. and a few friends who only have girlfriends I only put the one name on the STD but I will add guest on the invite…

Post # 68
Member
4500 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@This Time Round:  +1

If it were me, my pride would get in the way (for better or worse) and I would not want my Fiance to ask about it. I would simply not attend. I wouldn’t even really WANT to attend at this point, knowing that I wasn’t on the original guest list. 

Your Fiance can decide whether it’s worth it to him to attend without you or to stay home. I agree with 

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@paula1248 here: there’s no reason he HAS to attend the wedding given what’s happened. 

Post # 69
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

It’s not too late for a best man to back out of a wedding…don’t BMs/MOHs back out at/get asked to step down from the bridal party all the time?  At least that’s how it seems sometimes here on WB with the multiple Bridesmaid or Best Man drama threads…

Post # 70
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

considering you know the bride, I’m going to go with you weren’t invited. Not that it is right (it’s not). But, I don’t know how I’d handle it – neither of us would probably go. Would you really want to ask if you were invited when you already know the answer is no? Would you want to go to a wedding that you had to make a stink about being invited to?

It’s really poor form on the part of the bride AND your friend (the groom).

Post # 71
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Oof, how awkward. Sounds like you weren’t invited =( I’d check, because I’d be the person to not check and have actually been invited but then not gone.

If she did it on purpose and the groom agrees, see what your Fiance says about staying in touch with them. It may be that she did it, hoping you wouldn’t come but her Fiance has no idea. Basically, play it by ear.

Also, what did they RSVP to your wedding???

Post # 72
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been stated, but I’m really curious to know what the groom says after your Fiance asks him… 

Post # 73
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I asked my fiancé what he would do in this situation. He said he would be shocked because if I wasn’t invited it would put a huge rift in the friendship. He said he would ask about it and if I really wasn’t invited he would not go to the wedding. He would not care that there was only a month left because a real friend wouldn’t treat me like that. I really hope they meant to invite you!

Post # 74
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

“He would not care that there was only a month left because a real friend wouldn’t treat me like that.”

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@bailey12:  Totally agree with this! My fiancé feels the same way as yours. I just can’t imagine doing that to someone with whom you’ve gone on double dates, etc. and spend extended time together. I really hope it’s an oversight (or invitation etiquette ignorance) on the part of OP’s friend’s fiancée, otherwise what an awful person she must be! Good luck OP, please keep us updated.

Post # 75
Member
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Was there an update from the the Fiance after speaking with the groom?  I browsed through and wasn’t sure I’d missed her reply.

Post # 76
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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@happybunny:  +1

 

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@HockeyGirl:  Sweetie, I’m not sure how you can say not going isn’t an option because if you weren’t invited, then you not going is the ONLY option.

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