(Closed) What should I do about this? My name was left off wedding invitation

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 107
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Any updates?

To be honest, I believe it could have been a mistake – I accidentally left my uncle’s partner’s name off of their invitation, and my fiance’s parents gave me the wrong name for someone’s partner (sooo embarassing!).

I could understand you being left off the STD and the invitation if they had a list of all the names in Word or Excel and didn’t think to make any changes after the STDs went out – if the mistake wasn’t picked up on/pointed out to them with the STD, then there’s a good chance they wouldn’t have noticed, especially if they outsourced the printing of the invitations.

Post # 109
947 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Etiquette dictates that both partners should be invited if they are married, engaged, or have been dating seriously for so long that they are practically a single unit.


It could just be a huge oversight. Big blunders like this do happen once in a while. Let’s not jump to conclusions. My husband was invited to the wedding of someone in his unit, but not me. When my husband asked about it, his friend just blinked a couple times and then said, “Maybe one of the bridesmaids didn’t know her name or something. Of course she’s invited too.”



Post # 110
977 posts
Busy bee

I’d love an update too. 


FI’s brother is getting married in September – they sent out STD’s before we were even engaged, and they put both of our names on it, Fiance is in the wedding. 

Post # 111
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Mexico

@HockeyGirl:  I’d love to hear an update too! I agree that it sounds like they intentionally chose to not invite you, which is really a bummer and bad etiquette, especially since your fiance is in their bridal party.

Post # 112
2436 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@HockeyGirl:  I would leave it. What would you accomplish? Do you jsut want the chance to scold her?

Post # 113
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

commenting for update…sheesh louise.

Post # 114
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m curious to know what happened as well.  this is worse then my Fiance and I invite to his brothers wedding coming address to my fi and guest (when we were engaged, living together, and have kids together)



Post # 115
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

update please!

Post # 116
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Don’t leave us hanging!!!

Post # 117
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m interested to hear an update. 

It really does sound like you were not invited, and normally I would say just don’t say anything and don’t attend.  But your situation is so odd, Fiance has to say something.  It might just be an oversight (a big one), but if you were meant to be invited and don’t show they’ll probably wonder why you didn’t just ask since Fiance and groom are that close.

Post # 118
13 posts
  • Wedding: January 2015

Update bump!

Post # 119
1879 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@LadyElva:  re: the wrong name thing… my fiance, in inviting the parents of one of his groomsmen, gave me their first names and the groomsman’s last name. Not knowing any better, I sent the save the date that way, only to find out when he forwarded me their new address that that was the wrong name… I had been sending the invitation to the mother and stepfather of the groomsman… I imagine how awkward it would be to receive an invitation to a wedding with you addressed as Mr. Whoever TheLastNameOfYourWife’sDeceasedFirstHusband. Sooooooooooo awkward. However, while these people played a large role in my fiance’s life growing up, they live in a different state and I’d never met them, so how was I to know? Fortunately the invitation had the correct names. And an apology.

View original reply
@W292737:  My mother KEPT TRYING TO DO THAT when addressing the invitations. I kept telling her that we couldn’t invite married or engaged couples as “Whoever and Guest.” NO. She kept wanting to, on the justification that if they broke up, the partner who is not our friend wouldn’t be invited anymore. Sorry but no, mom. She spent half of the addressing time trying to find support for her view on the internet. Fortunately Miss Manners and Emily Post disagreed vehemently with her suggestion.

Post # 121
2267 posts
Buzzing bee

Commenting to see the update when it comes…


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