(Closed) What should I do? Abuse or overreaction?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 106
3212 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Oh, sweetie! I wish I could reach out of the Internet and give you a great big hug. I’m not surprised that you are going to be spending the summer at an Ivy League medical school, because you clearly have a lot of empathy, compassion and brightness which makes you see and love the best in people in a way that makes you want to help them be better.

It’s okay to have feelings for the best person your ex could have been. You can’t help feelings, sometimes. But what you can help is your actions; you should actively let go of his place in your life. Let yourself heal, and acknowledge that it is a good thing he is gone.

as for your mom, you have some solid advice there, too – be aware that as much as you honestly love her as a mother, she does not hold your best interests to heart. You are stronger than she thinks (or seems to wish for you to be). 

most of all, please don’t let this hard, turbulent time rob you of that compassion and passion you have to see the world as better than it is because you are intelligent, driven and loving enough to make your vision a reality. Just allow this experience to teach you that not everyone is as sincere as you… Now you have seen what assholes are like, you can better pick them out.

Post # 107
1166 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
PuppienScience:  Got Ya! I completely understand getting the confidence and courage to end it. I wish you  the best of luck! Hugs!!

Post # 108
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It’s always a big shock when you turn to someone for help, someone you think will always be able to help you…and they just can’t.  Or even make a bad situation worse.

Unfortunately it seems like that’s what’s happened with your mother.  Instead of being pleased that you’ve got rid of such a piece of shit and giving you encouragement, she’s using it as an opportunity to have a go at you.  I went through the same sort of situation with my mother when I was 21, and 25 years later I tell her nothing about my personal life, and she would be the last person I would go to for help or advice.

It’s the last thing you need when you are already feeling emotional.  I don’t know how long it is before you go to your summer placement, but I would try to spend time with people who are more supportive.   And if your mother starts on you again, tell her that you don’t need to be further ‘punished’ and would appreciative a kind word or two.

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