(Closed) What should I do? (Bridesmaid’s issue)

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I understand you’re sad, it’s a tough situation. If you still have 8 months, then I can only assume you haven’t ordered their dresses yet??   I’d give your friend a break and ask your other friend to step in.  At least she was honest with you and didn’t wait until the last minute….

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure your bm feels just as sad but it’s great she’s honest with you.  I think it would be nice to have your other friend step in, but I would word it or talk to her and let her know that she’s not really a "replacement" eventhough it seems that way.

Post # 5
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Agreed. I would be so sad if one of my BMs had to cancel – but this is a very legit reason and she was open and very honest with you. I think if you have someone who is already helping with the wedding and would understand the situation (and not feel like a back-up) then go for it!

 Sorry this happened, but it will all be worth it in the end because you’ll be married!!

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I had several friends who had another wedding the same day as mine – all of them made it to either the reception or the wedding, which I thought was fantastic of them, particularly since in two cases it involved a lot of driving for them to be able to do that.  It’s unfortunate that your friend’s cousin chose the same day as you, but it absolutely happens.  It’s better for your friend to bow out as the bridesmaid and be there for you as a guest than to end up not being able to really be there for you as a bridesmaid, because she’s also busy with her cousin’s wedding. 

I would definately ask your other friend to step in.  And I’m sure your ex-bridesmaid will still be happy to help with the shower, bachelorette, or whatever she can.  It’s not like she’s ditching you altogether.  I agree that it’s way better for her to step up early and be honest with you than to turn into the flaky bridesmaid you always read about on these boards, and maybe end up with the both of  you mad at each other.

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