- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
Well, Darling Husband has been home from the military since November. Let me preface by saying it’s really nice having him home and he does a lot around the house. Always starting dinner, doing some cleaning, runs errands, etc.
I want to make sure I approach this subject tactfully with him. I have a tendency to be blunt and I don’t want to come off rude accidentally so I’ve kept mum. But he’s been home since November. He’s not working. He has no job. He HAD mentioned that he would re-mobilize in April (reactive and not be internationally deployable but he could be called away to help units in the US train) but now he’s like “oh i don’t want to do that. I don’t want to leave St. Louis”.
I’m going back to school in August. I’m getting sort of nervous about the whole “one of us only working” thing for now b/c if August gets here and NEITHER of us are working, it’ll just be ridiculous. I feel like some income would be better than no income on his side but I don’t want to pressure him, either. Or make him feel like I’m not glad he’s home. He made a comment once that he thought I’d be happier to have him deployed to like, Texas, as long as he was working. Um, if August rolls around, I’d rather us have SOME income than a negative income. Ya know? I know he’s looking for a job but nobody’s really hiring his type of engineer right now. And I know he’s prideful and wants a “real” job, not just any job, so he’s adamantly avoiding anything that is “below” him. Which makes it far more difficult.
When do you think is a good time frame for me to softly approach the topic? Any ways to mention this without coming across like a big bia? I’m sort of worried that he sees me returning to school and pulling out a 32K student loan as “selfish” because I have to quit my job to do so (ya know, instead of providing for us). He’s eluded to this before, usually making a comment like, “well I guess I’ll do XYZ as long as you get to do whatever you want”. Usually when he’s in a bad mood but still, I can’t help but wonder if he wishes I wouldn’t go back to school so I can keep bringing in the dough in the meantime.
Is it just too early to be having a freak out? Logically I think it is. Stretching one salary is tight. Plus, paying for classes right now, the bank account just doesn’t have a lot of flexibility. What concerns me is that I’m unable to save FOR school while I’m paying ALL of our bills. I can provide for us comfortably, but setting aside a few grand so that the student loan cost is minimized isn’t happening. Part of me can’t help but think HE’S being selfish by not working, too, but I know I don’t *really* think that, I’m just crabby and kind of jealous he gets to live an easy life while I can’t wait to get a new career.
I’m not really sure how I feel about everything; any advice on how to handle the situation? Honestly I can’t believe he hasn’t gone crazy after 3 months of NOT working. Just not sure how to handle this…or if i should just remain hands off and chill out?