Post # 1
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
So if you’ve followed my posts you’ll know that my BF and I are going to be a bit untraditional about things and I’m buying my own dream ring after he proposes with a ring of his choosing and his financial comfort level that I will wear on my right hand. We’re likely getting engaged this summer but when is up to him (and its driving my Type A self crazy, but I digress…). I know exactly what I want for my dream ring and found a PERFECT center stone at a great price. We never explicitly said that we would wait to buy my ring until he proposed but that is sort of the implicit understanding we have. I also don’t want to push him too much or pressure him…
I want to order the diamond to get an in person look at it and so it doesn’t slip through my fingers, but I also don’t want to break any sort of implicit agreement BF and I have since we already have agreed to this unconventional process…
Should I go ahead and order it or should I wait?
Post # 3
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
That is a tough one. I think *maybe* you should wait, but it is your relationship that you know best, so I would listen to your intuition.
Post # 4
Member
3967 posts
Honey bee
@google: If he knows that you are going to buy THE ring post-engagement, and he’s doing his own ring thing, I don’t see why you COULDN’T buy it, since clearly you are both on the same page with this. I don’t think it’s jumping the gun. If he wanted a say in picking out the ring, then yes I’d say don’t do it, but based on the way you explained it, I think it’d be ok!
Post # 5
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
@google: I say buy it. Diamonds are so individually unique and if this one is perfect for you then definitely snatch it up!
Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
I say buy it now. You’re already in an untraditional situation, and you don’t want to lose the stone. You don’t have to start wearing it or even have it set just because you went ahead and bought it, so I don’t see why he would mind.
Post # 7
Member
15279 posts
Honey Beekeeper
It seems as though you have a pretty open process with him about this so I say buy it. I’d go a step further and say why not buy it and then maybe let him propose with it instead of have him buy another ring just for the sake of buying one himself. It’d save him/you money, esp if you plan on combining finances.
Post # 8
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
@pinkshoes: He wants to “be a man” and buy me a ring…it’s really sweet and adorable actually. This was our compromise since I want a ring he can’t afford whereas I can afford it… so I’ll let him do his own thing and I will happily wear his ring as well as mine.
Post # 9
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
I say go for it. I mean, you already know he is proposing, so its just a matter of time. I don’t think it matters whether you buy it now or a year from now, especially if you are getting a good deal and you feel its perfect! It may not be there later.
Post # 10
Member
4346 posts
Honey bee
Can you buy the diamond and he buys the setting for it? Since you will already have it….
(ps I say buy the stone now)
Post # 11
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
first of all congratulations!!!!
and i voted buy the diamond!!! diamonds are unique!! and they have different energy…if one in particular is calling to you, get it!! but you seem to have a very open relationship with your partner so why not make him a part of your exitement and enthusiasm’?? maybe have him be there and celebrate it??
i´m a type a person too and waiting for my guy to propose if driving me nuts too!!! i already know he has the ring!! But still he has the need to try and surprise me??!!! bless his sweet sweet heart!
Post # 12
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
I’m so type A, but I say speak to him about it first. Just so he’s on the same page as you. But I know what you mean, I found a fabulous antique stone that I have sent to SO. Ball is in his court now, so tough to be patient!