(Closed) What should I do? (Step-mom / Save-the-Date problems)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I could understand if they were a week or so late, but a month?  That’s insane.  It’s time to figure something else out for save the dates.  She dropped the ball.  If she complains about not having things to do, point out that she couldn’t handle something as simple as save the dates.  That’s ridiculous.

Post # 4
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

yeah, that’s not cool.  Just order them online…

Post # 6
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@PinkBubbles:  “FIs family lives across the country and needs to take 2+ days to get out here, and that most of them aren’t in a position like she is where they can just drop everything to take a trip. “

This is key.  This is why it’s important.  It’s really insensitive of her to ignore something that is important to not only you, but your FI’s entire family. 

Post # 7
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you are being way too nice about this. You gave her a task to do and she is a MONTH overdue. I can understand maybe a week or so, if somehting happened that was out of her control, but its a month overdue and you said she hasn’t even started on them?! I would be really annoyed and I would tell her you need to get them out asap so you are going to do them yourself. Sorry! I would also think twice about giving her another task to do..

 

Post # 8
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would simply tell her that you know she’s so busy and got so much she’s involved with… but that you really want to get out the save the dates so that fiance’s family knows what’s going on. Tell her that if she can’t get them out in, say, the, next 2 weeks, you totally understand and will print them yourselves. You can emphasize that you know how valuable her time is and don’t want to impose and aren’t mad if she can’t get them done. But be firm with a deadline.

Post # 9
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My (designer-in-training) brother said he would help with my stationary. I sent him emails and tried to get Mum to tell him what I want, but he never replied and was vague with my Mum. I got fed up and did them myself. He hadn’t even thought about them! I don’t know if that is just my bro or just boys, but honestly!

I think you need to say ‘I’ve told such-and-such they will get thier save the dates by x days, are you still happy to do them?’ If she says yes but then still doesn’t deliver, just sort it out yourself and don’t mention it again I guess.

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You gave her something important to do, and she blew it off because it wasn’t important in her eyes.  Don’t let her have any more tasks.  

Post # 11
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i think you ahould give her a fair warning then move on…..something like hey stepmom i just wanted to check in about the std….i know its been kinda crazywith xyz but i need to get them out in a week or so and iunderstand if you are just swamped. let me knowby the end of tomorrow if you have a draft or i can justgrab this cute one i found online.

 

Post # 12
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@PinkBubbles:  As several PPs have said, you are being way too nice about this and a month overdue is totally unacceptable. If she hasn’t even started working on them, I’d go ahead and order them online and explain to her (again) as to why they need to go ASAP.

Post # 13
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@PinkBubbles:  I would just order them online, tell your dad what happened, and ask him to pay for the upcharge for the rush delivery! Don’t give her any other responsibilities.

Post # 15
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@PinkBubbles:  “FIs family lives across the country and needs to take 2+ days to get out here,  and that most of them aren’t in a position where they can just drop  everything to take a trip.”

Very well said. Now say that to her. Have her pick out the stationary with you, btu I don’t think you can rely on her to do the design at this point.

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