Post # 1
Here is my dilemma,
His family is in California, My family is in Massachusetts, we both don’t want it in Mass, and most of the guest in Mass, will not be able to travel due to the economy…how do we please everyone?
We are looking at Monterey, and just a small intimate wedding with those who are close to us. If we do have it in California, it will be 90% his family 10% mine. It will not be fair to the father of the bride to pay for all the guests.
We thought about a destination wedding….does anyone have any thoughts about this?
Post # 3
Could you do a small destination wedding and keep it limited to just immediate family on both sides? At least your honored guests would get a vacation out of their expenses too!
Post # 4
destination sounds like the best choice….or meeting half way?? i’ve read some brides have rented vacation homes with lots of land n such or by a hotel so that family could stay overnight and such….
Post # 5
A Destination Wedding sounds like a good alternative. If you want to do it in the states, maybe somewhere in the middle of the country so it’s “fare” travel for everyone. Just note that by doing a Destination Wedding most guests wont be able to come, but it sounds like by having a wedding in CA your guest list will already be cut in half.
We are having a semi-DW. We are from PA, as well as my family and FH’s immediate family. FH’s aunts/uncle/cousins live in NJ/NY. Not like it’s a far distance for all if we had a wedding in PA, but we are getting married in NC! We actually did this because 1) FH has a HUGE extended family and we wanted a small wedding and 2) we wanted a beach wedding but didn’t want to get married out of the country (we’ll save that for the honeymoon).
Post # 6
If you did a destination wedding, everyone would have to travel! Also, if you chose a destination that you and your fiancé would like to travel to for your honeymoon, then you have already saved on airfare. I would love to have done a destination wedding, but my fiancé’s father cannot travel by plane.
Post # 7
Where do you live? Our families are on the west coast, but we are in California and chose to do it in the Monterey area, in part because we realized planning would be a lot easier and a lot more fun if we weren’t doing it long-distance. (and my fiance is very opposed to package-type weddings and having a planner which would make long-distance planning more doable)
Also, the idea that the bride’s father pays is getting very outdated – it’s more up to each individual family what they can and would like to contribute, if anything. So don’t let that control where you do it… Of the dozen or so couples I know who’ve gotten married in the past few years, none did it in the bride’s hometown, as tradition would dictate.
Post # 8
I must say, I love that idea, we are planning a July, wedding, that sounds like an awesome idea! Thanks!
Post # 9
We were looking at the Monterey area, and cutting the guest list to 40. His family lives in the San Jose area too. We will be moving to Oregan in a month, so we will be in that area. What venue did you choose in Monterey? We were looking at Memory Garden, and many of the other venues. We are going to spend a day looking around the area. Any good ideas? We would like to keep it as low cost as possible….if that is doable in that area. I here Oregan has some pretty places. Ahhhh, I feel so overwhelmed!! Thanks!
Post # 10
The traditional solution was to have the wedding and a reception near one of the families, then have a separate reception near the other family. Is that something that might work for you?
Post # 11
We are also a Bi-Coastal couple. My family is in Buffalo NY and we met and live in SF. We have decided due to religious issues to wed in Buffalo and have a small open house at his parents house in Cali when we return for those family members that could not travel to NY.
As for a site in the Monterey Area, I was dead set on Sand Rock Farm. It is beautiful for any size wedding. It is closer to Santa Cruz, but is also a B&B which makes it easy on the out of town guests as well.