(Closed) What should I have said to this crazy lady?! Vent.

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

ugh, I don’t understand what is WRONG with people!!  How could she say these things, that is such a ridicuolous judgement of people as a whole!

I would just simply reply to those types of comments with some sort of “well, every marriage is different!  you can never really understand someone elses’ relationship without living it” type of response.  Sorry that she spoke to you like that πŸ˜›

But seriously, congrats on the baby!  I am quite jealous πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
7726 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Some people just like to say the craziest things ever.  We got pregnant 4 months after our wedding date, and we will be married 30 years next month.  Congratulations!!

Post # 5
Member
21 posts
Newbee

Everybody had such different views about marriage/children that I would forget about it. Me and my SO want a few years of marraige before we have kids but one of my best friends got married and had a baby a year later and their relationship is as strong as ever. It really depends on who you and your SO are.

Babies are wondeful though so don’t let what other people think run your perception of where you are. Enjoy it! And congrats πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

I cant stand people like that, especially religious ones. Aren’t they supposed to be less judgy!?

Post # 7
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Congrats! I would just ignore her comments. She doesn’t know what she is talking about. Every couple is different and wailting longer/shorter amounts of time is going to make your marriage better or worse.

She is going to feel really dumb when she does find out you are pregnant.

Post # 8
Member
7854 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s judgy, I think it’s just well meaning but grossly insensitive. I find the only way to deal with well meaning bad advice is nod and ignore it. Arguing only drags it out. p.s. congrats!

Post # 9
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee

Some people have no tact, don’t let them get to you! πŸ™‚ As others have said, every couple is different, there is no perfect time to have kids. I bet she WILL feel like a jerk  when she finds out – maybe that will make her think twice before saying potentially hurtful things.

Post # 10
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Some people just get off on telling everyone what to do, and they have a know-it-all opinion on everything. Be grateful she’s not related to you because her family probably gets an earful all the time! I wouldn’t say anything at this point. She may or may not feel guilty when she hears you’re pregnant. It’s nice youre DH is protective of you though, feels nice to have him in your corner.

If she has the nerve to bring it up again once she knows, I’d say something short and sweet like, “Well, every family is different.” and excuse yourself to the bathroom (an excuse every preggo gal gets to use at will). Saying something nasty is pretty unlikely to change her mind or behavior, she’ll probably just go around telling her buddy biddies in the congregation how nasty you were to her. Best wishes on a healthy and happy pregnancy!!!

Post # 11
Member
5552 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Ignore her now then happily show off your gorgeous, happy new family in 9 months. πŸ˜€  I love church ladies (usually) but God forbid that anyone should not take their advice, which they are EVER so willing to give, wanted or tactful or not. As much as it sucks, nod and smile I think are the only options because as wonderful as it would feel to tell her how it is, it won’t do much but get her defensive and possibly make your life more miserable if she gets her little friends together and trys. We can all hope however when you are obviously pregant in a few months she realizes how far her foot was in her mouth and apologizes, but if not, relish in the fact that you will soon have a still happy marriage with a sweet baby and prove her wrong, even if it is just you who knows it. 

Post # 12
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Congratulations!

LOL. She lectured you without invitation and will hopefully feel like a fool when she finds out you’re pregnant. If she was just ranting foolishly but is otherwise a good person, I would laugh it off and say something like “Thanks for the tips; I’ll think about that,” or “You have some strong opinions on the subject”, and move on. Change the subject.

But if she is just rude and controlling, simply excuse yourself and walk away from the situation. You’ll find better-mannered company and more tasteful conversation elsewhere.

Post # 13
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would love to see the look on her face when she finds out you’re pregnant. Some people seriously have no tact. When you and your husband decide to have a baby is nobody’s business but yours. Congrats!!

Post # 14
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think ignoring it, as ridiculously hard as it is, is the best thing to do. 

Theres a lady at my work who is about 7 years older than me, pregnant with her first child, and tells me ALL THE TIME not to have kids, that I wouldn’t be a good mom, that I need to travel more, that *she* waited until she was 29 for a lot of reasons and that 29 was the perfect age to have a baby, etc. I’ve gottenthis lecture and many variations of it for a few months now… Guess who is almost 9 weeks pregnant. Me πŸ™‚

The first time she dug into me, I posted on the bee, feeling like I should’ve said more, done more, but the advice was to be the bigger person and brush her off. I’m glad I have because she just looks ridiculous when she tears into me. She told a client that she told me not to have kids and that she didn’t think her great advice would stick and I simply said, “well my husband wants a family and he has a little more say in the matter than my coworkers.”

Guess who looked like the moron? Her!

Post # 15
Member
4712 posts
Honey bee

Oh wow. Talk about classless and RUDE!

Post # 16
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Congrats on the baby!  I have the same thing happened to me, I am almost 9 weeks, and most people still don’t know.  My co-workers at work were like you should wait, have time with your husband, but every relationship is different.  It’s how you both make it work is what counts.  My DH parent’s had a honeymoon baby and they have been together for 32 years of marriage, and longer of dating.  Don’t let people bring you down.  

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