What should my girlfriend and I do?

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4533 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

henry6772 :  Your girlfriend is enabling your poor behaviour and obviously has issues of her own that she puts up with your BS. I love to cook but if my husband told me he was ‘mad’ and ‘hungry’ and expected me to be at his beck and call, he’d be wearing a tin of baked beans and not eating them. 😒

I assume you have arms and are in good physical health. Why do you feel entitled to be served on by your girlfriend? Is it because you believe in outdated gender roles?  Do you think if yourself as the king and number one? It’s even more alarming that she puts up with you, tells white lies to placate you and doesn’t walk away from you forever without a backward glance.

You obviously realise you are in the wrong here on every level. Your girlfriend behaves towards you in that manner because of your behaviour. If you didn’t behave the way you do, she would not act in this way. You need to reassess your behaviour and act in a way befitting of a decent human. You don’t demand things of others. You don’t name call or curse at them. You respect them and trust them if they’ve done nothing to warrant distrust or disrespect. You should also examine your own upbringing and work out why you do things this way. A lot of this stuff I bet, is from learnt behaviour. You should also seek out some sort of therapy to work out how to reprogram your negative behaviour into positive healthy ones. 

If this is all very new behaviour for you and you’ve never done this or acted like this before, I’d seek out some medical advice because you could have an underlying condition that may be causing this change in behaviour.

You honestly though sound like you need to work on yourself and re-examine who you are and what you want to be and then adjusting behaviour until it all matches up. I don’t think you are ready to be in a relationship because at the moment you are incapable of loving and treating someone else in the right way.

Post # 4
Member
6665 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

What should the two of you do?  Split up. Neither of you is communicating well and apparently the trust is gone.

Why are you getting mad out of nowhere?  See a therapist, get to the bottom of it

And of course… stop expecting the world to cater to your laziness. You’re hungry?  Make yourself a sandwich, you’re not helpless.

Post # 5
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’ve been in this relationship. I would bet money you both want out but neither of you wants to admit it (maybe even to yourself) so you just pick fights hoping the other will drop the axe. 

Post # 6
Member
794 posts
Busy bee

henry6772 :  

This is not a relationship. This is you working out your extremely aggravating and annoying issues with your girlfriend. And she, for whatever reason, is putting up with it and engaging with you instead of leaving you.

I’m not remotely surprised she is telling you “white lies.” If someone I knew was behaving like this, I would say whatever I needed to to get them to shut up. You are behaving like a petulant, angry, entitled toddler.

Whether you and your girlfriend stay together or not, you’re right: you do need help. Go and get it, and stop making your relationship the focus. The work that needs to happen is with you.

Post # 7
Member
5758 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

What? It isn’t girlfriends job to feed you.

Post # 8
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

henry6772 :  tf? Maybe feed yourself? You sound like a creep. & also a child. Break up.

Post # 9
Hostess
8812 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

henry6772 :  I am not really sure why you have come to a wedding forum. Go work on your issues. You sound about 12. 

Post # 10
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

What in the hell?  I’m so stuck on the thing about your gf feeding you that I don’t even know what to say about the other issues.  Why do you not feed yourself?

Post # 11
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

What should your girlfriend do? Dump you.

 

though I do wonder if this was written by my Breastfed baby as that is the only person who can reasonably expect a woman to feed them when they are hungry and mad henry6772 :  

Post # 12
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

Your girlfriend should break up with you.

You should get some counseling to work on your anger issues, and take a cooking class so you can learn to feed yourself.

Post # 13
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I stopped reading when you asked her to feed you. You cant feed yourself? She needs to get rid of you and your toxic traits. 

Post # 14
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

henry6772 :  feed you? Bee, you may be the bigger problem than you think.

I know you realize you need help, but also realize how youre talking, in that lies a lot of what may help you, if you acknowledge it….remember, you are your own person. The only reason you should ever ‘demand’ to be fed is if you guys are joking and/or talking sexually and in a non-demanding/expecting manner. 

You need to survive and be able to feed yourself, no one is responsible for you. I cook almost every day for my man and myself, and do it voluntarily because I love him and show him love through my actions, he always asks to help with dinner, but i let him know i have it taken care of (I enjoy cooking/baking) but if he ever expected me to feed him…no. And then to demand and argue and get upset for not being fed?? I would laugh at a person who ever tells me that and happily leave them.

Honestly, and quite frankly, bee, you’re lucky shes still staying through this nonsense.

Understand the way youre thinking and why and what’s wrong about it. You need to be better in being considerate and humble and independent before you can tackle a full on relationship. Bc a relationship can be an emotional thing, and overwhelming for those that are dependent on their partners. 

 

Post # 15
Member
4316 posts
Honey bee

I’m not sure what disturbs me more, the fact that you expect to be fed when you announce that you’re hungry or your full frontal assault on the English language

Get a grip on your anger. No one likes to be yelled at and no one likes a person who stalks around giving off an angry vibe. Only you can do this, and it will make your life better, so get it done.

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