What should the date of the Groomsman wear?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Don’t go flashy. Just wear something you’d normally wear to a wedding. No big deal.

Post # 3
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

hannah165 :  Being the date of a groomsman does not in any way influence what you should wear. Wear something appropriate for the location and level of formality of the wedding.

Post # 4
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Just dress nicely for the occasion, you are a guest, being the date of one of the groomsmen doesn’t place you in a special category in terms of what to wear. Depending on the seating arrangements you might not even sit together at dinner if they have a bridal party table. 

The only thing I would say is don’t try to look like you are a bridesmaid. 

Post # 5
6383 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Wear something in tune with the occasion and don’t aim to be flashy.  Being the date of a groomsman is irrelevant, attire wise.

Post # 6
9098 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Wear something nice. Worry less about upstaging anyone.

Post # 7
232 posts
Helper bee

hannah165 :  I would just say look your best in terms of what makes you feel good. Hmm I would also think about the message you want to send to your date. Is this a friend or a boyfriend or a guy you have been on some dates with? I would say if there’s romantic potential wear something form fitting that might really catch your guys attention but might blend a little in the crowd. A long tight black backless gown for example. I’m in the same situation for a wedding this summer with my bf.!i might wear a short lace dress in bright red or pink.. I’ll look like one of the guests.  I don’t think anyone would pick either of those dresses for a bridesmaid. 

Post # 8
150 posts
Blushing bee



Even if you were a girlfriend rather than just a date I don’t think you should be aiming to look flashy or desire to look like anything other than a normal guest. You are not in the wedding party.


To me, long dresses are a no no unless specified on the invite. Best left for the bridemaids. 

Post # 9
4232 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I have been the ‘wife of the groomsman’ twice now. I found out what the wedding colours were ahead of time so I didn’t accidentally wear the same colours…but I still wanted to look good with DH’s outfit.

For one wedding the colours were plum and teal. The suits were very light grey. I wore a chocolate brown, knee length formal dress with some really nice intricate beading.

For another wedding the colours were pinkish-red and baby blue. The suits were a medium grey. The ceremony was in a church and I wore a conseravtive, cream, knee length dress with a high ruffle collar with pink, orange and yellow flowers. For the reception I wore a rose gold knee lenth dress that was inspired by 1920’s flapper style.

My idea was to look like I ‘belonged’ in any formal photo I was invited to be in…but I looked like a guest and NOT a bridesmaid. Hope this helps 🙂

Post # 10
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Definitely find out the colors and don’t dress too flashy: nothing too short or revealing. Think of it as a ceremony, and less a party. 

Post # 11
728 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t do anything different than being a normal guest besides going out of my way to NOT wear the wedding colors. 

Post # 12
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’d wear whatever I’d wear as a normal guest. Being the date of a Groomsmen doens’t mean you need to wear anything special, it’s not like you’ll be in pictures or anything. 

Post # 13
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

hannah165 :  At FSIL’s wedding I just wore a nice, long dress. I did have one other that I wanted to wear, short though, and I found out it was the same color as the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. So I wore that to the rehearsal dinner.

As long as you dont wear the same color as the bridesmaids you should be fine


Post # 14
25 posts
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would find out what color the Bridesmaid or Best Man are wearing and avoid that color at all costs. Find out if their dresses are long or short, and avoid that as well. Just makes it a little easier. And don’t worry, you wont upstage the BM’s by any means. Just don’t put too much thought into it and don’t go flashy! 🙂

Post # 15
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

taywerx13 :  I know this is an old thread, but there is absolutely no need to avoid a long dress if the BM’s are wearing long, or short if they are wearing short. In fact, a dress the same length may be the most appropriate for the formality of the wedding.

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