Post # 1
To go along with my other posts, We are getting married really really soon about 3 months away. Since things happen with my Fiance parents and us. We no longer want to use the money they planned on giving us. We have not told them yet, nor have we talked to them since last week.
We just had our shower Sunday, since we do want their money we cannot afford the wedding we have planned. I am willing to lose my deposit on my DJ and everything I worked hard for in the planning process. I am perfectly OK with having a simple wedding with family and closest friends.
I found a much smaller venue that can only hold 60 people. The problem is since we had our shower and cannot afford this large wedding I was going to cut my Fiance moms friends. I feel bad for three of them since they are nice people the rest are snobs and so rude, didn’t even say goodbye to me, my Fiance or my mom at the shower her and my aunt hosted.
How can I go about this with out hurting to many people. I have to uninvite a few of my and my Fiance friends too. But there is definately no way to afford its pretty much from $17,000 to about $5,000.
I feel like we have the right to change this whole thing for us due to the circumstances.
Post # 3
Personally, I would find a venue where I could afford the entire guest list I wanted (and I did, too!). But, really, that’s a judgment call only you can make. You have to do what you have to do, and I’m sure the people truly close to you will understand the tough decisions that you’re about to have to make. Good luck!
Post # 4
@les105: Thank, and congrats on doing so. If I had more time, we maybe able to pull it off. Plus the fact I really do not want these people there and didnt even want there in the first place but since my Future Mother-In-Law was paying she just kept on adding and adding even a few days before our situation.
But the original plan was already pretty cheap about $45 per person. The new idea is $17 per person. I believe myself sacafricing my wedding day for a little one, something I knew I could never do a month ago would make this Ok.
Post # 5
@ms. lovie bunny: You seem like you have a good attitude about the whole thing. I’m sure the people you have to leave out will understand, especially when they hear why you’ve had to downsize. You have to do what’s best for you & your FH!!
Post # 7
You could ‘cancel/postpone’ your wedding – Fairly sure there’d be some nice verses or wording you could use as it has definitely been done before. Then when you go to re-book, just don’t re-invite the people you don’t want there. I changed my venue after the first invites went out. I just sent everyone a letter explaining that we’d ‘upgraded’ to a bigger place with a dancefloor. I also invited more people so they got a slightly different worded letter, not making reference to the ‘upgrade’. It would be a bit harder to downgrade to a smaller venue and cut people rather than upgrade to bigger and invite more like I did, but it definitely can be done.
I have a friend that planned a big wedding and then decided it wasn’t for her and planned something much smaller but also pushed the date back. I believe she just sent out a letter explaining that their wedding had been ‘postponed’ or cancelled. Then a few months later they had a really intimate ceremony by the lake.
I’m sure people will understand and appreciate your decision. It’s your wedding day and it has to be what you guys really want. As long as it’s worded OK and you explain yourselves so they don’t go thinking “OMG the wedding is off, the relationship is falling apart”. If you explain that you’re still in love and still want to get married but would like to do things differently, people will get that.
Post # 8
Hard situation. Good luck with this.