Post # 1
So we got engaged on Friday and we are already planning. But we have a delimma. We are living together but I am not supposed to be here.
Background: his job lets him live pretty cheap in a house they own, but since it is a religious based company the people in their houses are not allowed to live with someone of the opposite sex. Well I have nowere to live (no money, I graduated college but haven’t been able to get a job) and we have lived together in this house for 8 months. We both feel stressed and guilty for going against the rules and he could get in trouble for me living here.
We were talking last night about going to the courthouse soon to make it official so I can live here and be included on his bennifits. We are ready fro marrage (we think) and there are a lot of positives.
But we still want a ceremony with all the religious things and the reception and the honeymoon. We are worried about our families reactions and of having all the traditional things next october would be a waste of money, even through we do really want them.
We are both kinda sad and shocked we would not be having the traditional wedding thing but we both think it is what is best for us. We are going to talk to my family next week about it.
So I guess I am asking the hives thoughts and advice on what to do and opinions on getting married and then having the traditional things next year after we have saved money and planned.
Post # 3
Could you compromise by having a somewhat traditional wedding on a short timeline, like maybe two months? You have already been living together for 8 months and haven’t gotten in trouble with his employer, what’s another two?
You can plan a simple, intimate but beautiful & meaningful wedding on a short timeline – I know some bees have! You could probably find availability in a church this summer if you got married on a Friday, so that way you have your religious ceremony.
Post # 4
Why do you say >>We are ready fro marrage (we think)<< ? That really stands out to me as an indication that maybe you should wait.
But if that was just something you typed with no meaning behind it, a simple with only your nearest and dearest would be great, and you two can have a bigger celebration and a larger party later, if that’s what you want. You can also have a "traditional" wedding very quickly — just speak with your religious leader about it.
Otherwise, an engagement period is a good time to continue to grow in your relationship.
Post # 5
I said "we think" meaning nothing really important. We are ready for marriage and we have already handeled a lot of trials and tribulations. I just ment the stress of planning and dealing with the family!
I am for having the wedding this october, but he says it isn’t enough time for the family to plan to get here. I think it is, but he hasn’t even told his mom yet. She won’t be happy becasue I am not catholic.
We have agreed on Mid october, outside wedding (my uncle has beautiful property!) and silver, burnt orange, and dark purple as our colors. a 3 or 4 person bridesmaids and groomsmen party. My aunt is a photographer so she will do our engagement pictures, but I want to find someone else to do the wedding so she can enjoy it.
We have not been to church in a while but we are religious and want God to be a big part in our ceremony because He is in our lives.
Thank you so much for responding, it has helped me think a bit more calmly!
Post # 6
Great! It sounds like you’ve figured it out.
If you were still undecided, I was going to vote for the courthouse ceremony now, religious ceremony later. They’re two different types of ceremonies, both of which join you together in a deep and meaningful way, and neither should be considered a waste of money! We’re considering doing the same thing at the moment… also undecided.