- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
We talked about a lot of things regarding kids before we started TTC. Many things we discussed while dating, as in getting to know each other, discipline methods, are we even going to have children, if so- when… all that while we were dating.
Anyway, we’ve figured out healthcare, tentatively childcare (he’s open to working part time and being a part time Stay-At-Home Dad but we both know I’ll never be the one to stay home- I have the better health coverage and we don’t want to sacrifice that). We discussed me being the stricter disciplinarian, but that we’ll always try to be on the same page so as not to undermine each other. We don’t mind a swat on the behind or a slap on the wrist, but will go no further with spanking, we will try time-out or diversion to the best of our ability.
We will stick with public schools at first, but are open to private education if we don’t feel the public sector is effective for our child. He went to a Catholic high school, and said that it was nice to be able to make that decision for himself at that age, and would like to offer the same opportunity for our child. We also discussed whether or not, and how much we plan to contribute to our child’s college education.
We talked about foods, trying new foods, having a healthy diet (we are both really athletic/active so we have a decent diet, but there’s always room for improvement!). My mom had an evil technique about our dinner- we would decide we didn’t want to eat the green beans, so we’d say we were full. Two hours later we were STARVING and HAD to have a cookie. That lady would pull out our plate from dinner, with the green beans still untouched, and tell us if we were hungry enough we’d eat the veggies. Evil trick worked :/ We’ll do something like that 🙂
We also talked a lot about our three dogs and how we want our child to learn how to interact with them. Both of our mothers smoke, and we are on the same page about prohibiting or severely limiting our child’s contact with smoke. Our moms will not be a viable childcare option unless they come to our home (and they dont’ smoke in our house anyway, even they see it as rude).
We discussed labor and delivery, and he says since it’s my body and I’m the one who will be doing all the hard work that it is ultimately up to me to decide what type of interventions, if any, I am ok with. I like that he supports my decision. Same thing with BFing, I’d like to pump at least some (maybe exclusively, though I hear it’s a royal pain in the ass) so that he has a chance to feed and bond with the baby.
How many children we have will depend greatly on whether or not we get pregnant with our first easily, how my body handles pregnancy, and how our relationship handles the extra person. We would not wait too terribly long for a second if we decide to have more than one- I’m already 31 and only just starting TTC so I’m not sure how much stress I want to put on my body. I do want enough time (at LEAST a year, maybe two) to let my body heal and recover though!
We also picked out names, decided we don’t want to know the gender until (s)he’s born. The only thing we haven’t really decided is whether or not to circumcise.